An older gentlemen yelled and flipped off a group of neighborhood kids (mine included) last night.
Huh?!
Small background:Our neighborhood doesn't have many backyards so there's a posse of 4-6 six-to-eleven year olds that play together all around the neighborhood. With summer finally here they've been staying out later than usual, until about nine.
So...last night as I'm calling mine in-the pack surrounds me saying a man yelled at them for being too noisy (can't deny that) and then flipped them off(?!)
I puffed myself up, and strode over to the house. Pounding on the door seemed a little much, so I used the doorbell. The muted 'ding-dong-ding' took some of the wind out of my sails, it's difficult to keep the concerned/angry/don'tf*ckwithmykid/ energy with 'ding-dong-ding'. I waited...
I rang it again feeling my super powers ebbing as each second passed.
The door opens slowly. The glass/screen door remains closed.
He knows why I'm here-and he's a little nervous. Good.
He's a spindly, timid-looking guy with gray hair, big glasses, and an airline mechanics t-shirt. Not what I expected.
I tell him I'm a father of two of the children, and I know they've been loud, and I apologize for the cacophony. He doesn't move...I don't think he even blinks.
Then I sternly-yet-fairly mention the kids version which includes him flipping them off.
He stares again...I don't know if he's coming through the glass at me or slamming the door and making a break for it through the back porch.
We stand there....
He says "I don't care."
Even though there's only a glass door between us , I can barely hear him. I pretty much read his lips...I wonder why he's whispering.
I strongly remind him that they're children, the oldest is eleven, and I ask if he really thinks that's setting a good example. "Shouldn't adults show kids how to resolve disputes...shouldn't we expect better of ourselves?"
There is a pause-that-seems-like-forever-but-it-had-to-only-be-a-second-or-two
The door opened a bit
He apologizes. I realize he's not whispering, his voice is minute.
He explains he was mad, he has to get up at four in the morning, and he was frustrated.
Another apology , and extends his hand. I accept his apology and shake his hand.
As we shake, an alarm goes off in my head. This is the most frail hand I've felt-it's like I'm shaking hands with air.
He's razor thin, I can barely hear him, and he's got no grip whatsoever. He had what seemed like an irrational moment of anger-then sincere contrition.
I think he's sick. Severely sick.
We continue, I tell him it's okay, thank him for his time, and tell him I'll see about moving the kids further down the street after seven.
He spoke/mouthed thank you and apologized again.
I went back to the kids, and told them he was sorry AND that he has to get up early-so they should congregate over by my house. They agreed.
As God as my witness I don't know what to do about my neighbor. I've been here for two years and this is my first interaction with him. But if he is sick I'd like to help, or let him know we're here.
Do I ask. "Hey...I know we just met, but you seem sick. What can I do to help?"
leave him be? I don't think that's an option, or I wouldn't be writing this.
My initial idea is to make something with my kids, cookies, brownies or something, and bring them over.
Too cheesy?
I'm at a crossroads and could use the plethora of ideas I see and contribute to on this site.
What would you do?
WalterMitty posted on Jun 27, 2008
| views: 199
Comments
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uniquely-ironic said on Jun 27, 2008....
I think a nice card from the kids would be a good way to connect with him. But, in the end, he has to want your help. I think you did a good job today. -
MissMimi said on Jun 27, 2008....
I agree, you handled it very well. I'm not sure you can do much more than just keep an eye on him, and if you don't see him for a while, check on him discreetly. I think the card is a nice idea, and a good lesson in kindness for your kids. -
gingersoul said on Jun 27, 2008....
Walter.......you handled the situation very well...you were angry but you controlled yourself and tried to make him reasoning with you.
It not something everybody would have done..... believe me.
About you wanting to help him.....this gives you even more honor...
I would suggest to simply knock at his door one of these days and tell him you wanted just say hi and that t if there is anything you can do to help him you would be glad to do it in the name of a good neighborhood relationship...
Maybe you can invite him to some b-b-q or yours...in case of any?
What Uni suggested is good too...
Oh, welcome to Soulcast....i think you will like it here.
Come to visit me, neighbor....lol.....
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scipio said on Jun 28, 2008....
Does he have a family or is he alone? If he is alone - checking on him every few days would help. May be if he is lonely you could spend a few minutes everyday saying just Hi to him. It is company that old people seek. Time is the only thing they have on their hands. -
secretlife said on Jul 01, 2008....
brownies and cookies are such a nice thought, but you never know a person's health history, so sugar might be a "no no"- i like the idea of maybe you and a few of the kids paying him a visit for 15 minutes and offering to do something for him- perhaps a little yard work? watering flowers? you might even offer an hour of service and chatter during the hour so he has company.what a nice neighbor you are. -
WalterMitty said on Jul 01, 2008....
Thank you all for your kind comments and advice.We're having a neighborhood party on the fourth (bouncy castle, bbq, fireworks etc.) I'm going to invite them to join us. We'll see what happens.PS-how cool is it to have 'secretlife' posting on 'waltermitty's' blog? -
secretlife said on Jul 01, 2008....
LOL........now how could i resist?we should compare our secret lives one day! -
froggie_51 said on Jul 01, 2008....
Theres nothing worse than screeming kids! I suspect you send them outside cause you dont want to hear their noises. You're disrespecting his right to live in a quiet neighborhood with no brats screeming! Why dont you take rhem to the park or something??? -
WalterMitty said on Jul 02, 2008....
Coda...
Yesterday some new neighbor children and my daughter picked a ton of flowers out of a neighbor's bed without asking...it was a bit of a mess. I gathered up the girls, made them clean everything up. I told them "You are going to apologize to the bed's owners, ask them what you can do to make it up, and by God, you will do whatever they say." *
The owners of the flowers? My neighbors mentioned above. Oh boy. I braced for the worst...
They went to the door-explained what had happened...
My neighbor cheerfully said "Well, that's what flowers are for. It's okay don't worry about it."
My jaw dropped-this was the guy who flipped off a gaggle of kids earlier in the week.
I thanked him for his graciousness-and invited him and his wife to a neighborhood party we're having on the fourth. He accepted. How about that?
Comment on "Flipping off my kids...what now?"
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