I have two amazing children (I promise this isn't one of those brag-about-my-kids-because-I-have-nothing-else-to-say-posts...I hope) who within the past month have both been recognized by their classes/school for their caring demeanor.
My son's kindergarten class voted him 'student of the month'-caring was the attribute on the certificate.
My daughter's third grade class unanimously gave her a citizenship award in front of the entire school.
Both classes teachers and students say my kids are the epitome of kindness and generosity.
This makes me ridiculously proud. They are becoming the people my wife and I want them to be.
But there's thing nagging, nasty little thought that just won't go away.
Am I setting them up to future doormats/bully fodder?!
Logically I know that children have a natural dispositon towards kindness- my kids are reflecting the environment my wife and I are providing...
but the illogical part of me wonders if they'll be able to handle themselves when push does come to shove.
Unfortunately-not all children are raised with the same proclivity towards being kind and generous...and that certainly increases as people get older.
I want them to exhibit these traits-and stand up for themselves when needed. I don't know if that balance is taught or a natural part of growing up.
My youngest is sensetive (intellectually-all six year olds are, especially boys) his buttons are easliy pushed by some of the older (7-9 years) kids in the neighborhood when playing.
He runs in most of the time with stories of 'this person said this...' and he's in tears.
We tell him that the others are trying to get that reaction from him-not to take everything so seriously.
Of course, like most kids five mnutes later he's back out playing again, which is good.
This probably has some effect on my thought process- no one likes seeing their child come home in tears.
Then I get to thinking the actions and demeanors that my kids are being praised for in elementary school aren't valued by professional society overall. I guess that's where my worry is coming from. How often does someone at work get recognized for their caring demeanor. More often than not, those are the employees that everyone takes advantage of.
'Nice guys' rarely get the girl initially- in fact towards the beginning of the dating experience-the nice guys don't date very much.
etc.
I want my kids to be great human beings-and I want them professional success. Are they mutually exclusive? Am I just being neurotic? What is the balance? Is it taught...or developed?
