Why does silly embarrising crap always happen to me? ALWAYS!!!
For real, have u ever been in a situation and thought to yourself "omg, that would really suck if this happned right now"
Well every time it does happen, to me.
Im a prime example of Newton's Law ( i think i spelled that like the cookie)
If something bad can happen it will happen, to Christina.
Last night Phil and i wanted to have sex outside.
I have a privacy fence around most of the yard. There is an exposeed piece that would make it really easy for people to see but we werent worried about it. It makes it more exciting.
The stars were out, the moon was bright. We were laying down together on one of those patio seats that u can stretch ur legs out on. Its like a sunbathing Chair....
We were cuddling on that looking up at the sky, drinking a Pina Colada.
We decided it was time to get frisky. Phil perched himself above me and began undressing me.
It was very romantic.
We started going at it hot and heavy when phil asked me to scooch down on the chair because his hips were rubbing against the arm rests.
So i scooch down a little and most of my body weight shifts from the seat ur butt is supose to go on to the leg rests, a less sturdy part of the chair.
Phil stars thrusting away and all was fine for a while. I could feel the chair scooching across the patio but ignored it. When suddenly the feet of the leg rests gave out and we fell to the floor. I started laughing hysterically trying to suggest we take the pads and move to the ground. Phil refused he seemed to think it would work like we were.
It didnt, we spent a while trying to readjust but i kept slipping off the chair.
We grabbed the pads and put them on the floor and started going at it again.
Just as im thinking im recovering from that first so un smooth move.
I get a terrible stomache cramp. Phil is pounding away about ready to cum when i gotta have him stop. i couldnt take the cramp anymore "brb i gotta go to the bathroom"
I hop up and run inside thinking ill take a quick poop and be back in like 5 minutes
(im a fast pooper)
But nooooooo....i was on the toilet for a good 15 minutes trying to go and i couldnt.
Phil comes inside "u ok baby?"
"yea, im fine"
I hear him walk into the bedroom to wait for me....
Finally i progress into explosive diarhea...I was on the pot for like an hour...
I flush scrub up and walk into the bedroom to find my sweet boyfriend sleeping...
I crawl into bed and he rolls over and wraps his arms around me "feel better baby"
I say "yeeeeaaaaaa" very shyly.
"Thats good, sweet dreams, i love u"
"U have sweet dreams and no, I love U"
He giggles with a "well finish what we started in the morning"
I was mortified...why me???
Porn makes sex look so smooth...and simple...My sex is comaprable to offroading, sooo unsmooth...
alas, thats half the fun.
I kinda doubt anyone else has put themselves in that situation..
If u have, please speak up so i feel less like a freak....
