• cuppajava said on Jun 23, 2008....

  Hi Star,
  I know that i speak from a male perspective,and theref ore i think i need to tread a little carefully.I totally agree with you being pissed off at him,and I think that I would be too.But at the same time - does he still feel any guilt for doing it?Even though it was 10 years ago? I dont know how long the both of you have been together,but have you reached the stage yet where a small part of you starts to re examine how you feel about him?
  I am a strong believer in the fact that a strong relationship should not be built on looks,as looks can fade over time - but the person behind the looks tends to stay the same.I believe a relationship is based on trust and honesty,and as far as i am concerned you cannot have one without the other.You should be able to trust him enough that he shuld be able to be honest with you about things that happened.Even if that means it being 10 years in the past.
  I dont mean to put a negative spin on anything - but do you see yourself being able to forgive him? - or are you having a hard time getting your head around it,because by rights - I'm afraid that that should have fallen under the'I should have told you sooner category'....................
  

• starchini said on Jun 23, 2008....

  Well im not one to judge people on their past actions.  Past is past.  So its not a make or break situation for me.  It was just something about his history that i dont like...I just sorta wanted tips on how to get over it and to realize it is history and hes with me now and his past "lovers", "fuckers" seems to fit better, are in the past.  As u perfectly put, i just gotta wrap my head around it : )  We havnt been together tha long and im learning new things about him all the time.  He is so open and honest its hard for me to get pissy about the things he says because i keep thinking "jesus, at least he volunteered that info, i woulda taken that to the grave" lol...

• uniquely-ironic said on Jun 23, 2008....

  Bill has told me that he was with a prostitute when he was much younger.  I admit I was unhappy about it.  Not because I felt like I needed to somehow compete with her skills, but because it seemed so shallow.  Is it possible that is the real issue?
   
  I am a big believer of keeping my mouth shut about my sexual history unless asked.  I think short of marrying the first guy you date in middle school that the odds of being with someone without a past are seriously slim.  That doesn't mean that you need to know about it unless there are health issues though.  Why invite trouble?

• Zayda said on Jun 23, 2008....

  Honestly, my husband's sexual past doesn't bother me.   The sexual past of the man I was in a long-term relationship with before I met my husband didn't bother me.
  
  
  Wait. He was with a stripper 10 years ago and you're pissed off about it?
  
  Are you pissed off about the other women he has been with prior to you or just this one in particular?
  
  It's history.
  
  
  It's not like he's having sex with her now.
  
  The past is the past.
  
  By in large what is coming in to play here are your insecurities about yourself--about your looks, your weight, your sexual prowess. You need to look at the real source of where your anger is coming from.
  

• anonymous said on Jun 23, 2008....

  omg   you were what 11 when he nailed a pro?   stupid 

• starchini said on Jun 23, 2008....

  lol...u both got me pegged...thats why i post these questions i have..u word my problem so much better than me...all i can utter is "im pissed" and u all pin point exactly why im upset about it...Unique ur absolutly right past is passed and it made me cringe to look at him for a lil while bc all i could see was a shallow, only after sex creep willing to sleep with a stripper to get some pussy...it made me sick to think that about the guy im in love with.  Thats why i didnt make a fuss or start a fight..i kept telling myself past is passed and u cannot get mad over this, keep it to urself christina.  And Zayda u hit my nail on its head too, it is a security issue...I dont know what this woman looked like, i mean, granted strippers in the mid west are nothing to brag about but she had to be decent to get paid right?  So i wouldnt say it was jealousy but it did make me feel insecure about pretty much everything.  She coulda been pretty, she coulda had more skills, she coulda had better moves etc...I got the feeling that whenever we made love he was comparing me to "the amazing stripper"...he never called her that but i immediatly think the worst.  Ugh...it still just makes me sick...

  One time we were flipping through a hustler together and he pointed at one exceptionally gorgeous woman and said "oh, damn, there is a striper in ----- that looks just like her".....way later when i found out he had a threesome with a stripper i couldnt help but think the girl in the dirty magazine was her....im almost positive it wasnt, almost...not positive enough to feel better...

  What makes me feel like a bitch is that i sorta thought to myself, well she couldnt have been that pretty, bc by most standards Phil isnt that great looking.  Not conventionally anyway...Lets just say i was attracted to him for his personality...Plus ive seen pictures of his ex's and let me just say "woof, woof"...So i wondered what this stripper was like, bc i was postive that i was the prettiest girl hed ever been with...And i simply made the association that i would be paid to put my clothes on, so if she gets paid to take em off she must be pretty than me and i couldnt help but wonder, how come this happened?  Ugh...i dont know...Phil is a great looking guy, now, but when i met him he looked like Ted Nugent...he had long fuzzy blonde hair and a rock n roller goatee that went to his collar bones and wore sleevless flannel...u get the idea...but now he cut his hair and trimmed his beard, so now he is very hot but before, not so much.....

  Im gonna shut up...i feel like the meanest person right now for saying any of that...

  I love Phil, he is wonderful and im extremly attracted to him...u guys know that all i do is blog about our amazing sex.  AHHH!!!  Whats wrong with me!!!  Im like dissing my boyfriend to back myself up that this stripper must have been ugly bc thats the only way it could happen, to make myself feel prettier....

  Im retarded, Phil could get anywoman he wanted, especially if he opened his mouth.  Any woman would be lucky to  have him and im just being stupidly insecure right now.  Of all the beautiful strippers and women hes met, he picked me.  He picked me...out of them all...So that stripper was missing something, that i obviously have...Ambition maybe? lol....Ugh, but still A STRIPPER!!!!  Meaning he must have purley had sex with her bc she was hot...Its disgusting!

  I didnt think Phil was shallow...but now i dont know...

  I think anyone who sleeps with a stripper has some woman issues...

  BUT ITS IN THE PAST!!! 

  I need a pill or something. 

  My mind attacks me. 

• uniquely-ironic said on Jun 23, 2008....

  Okay Star, I'm gonna call you on something.  Sure, sleeping with a stripper isn't one of his finest moments.  It was sex for the sake of having sex.  It happens, more to guys than girls, and we're all guilty of it even if we happen to "use" our spouses when the urge strikes.  So, before you even think of pointing out to yourself or him that sleeping with a striper is shallow, consider that maybe he experiments with it and put it back on the shelf in favor of a meaningful relationship.

• anonymous said on Jun 23, 2008....

  no  none of that  this is just stupid

• SeanRenaud said on Jun 23, 2008....

  And women wonder why guys work on fine tuning their lies.  You're upset with him over a woman he slept with a decade ago.  I mean the childishness of that statement is mind boggling in and of itself and it's part of the reason why guys never feel safe being honest because we are never safe being honest.

• Eilan said on Jun 23, 2008....

  Heh.  If you think all strippers are hot, then you should talk to my husband and my ex about the strippers at some of the clubs they've been to, both in the Midwest and in Vegas.
  
  How did all this come about?  Did you ask him about his previous experiences or did he just volunteer the information?
  
  I'm like u-i, because I believe details about previous partners should remain private unless someone specifically asks.  And if you do ask, you'd better prepared to accept the answer.  I'd sure hate to volunteer some aspect of my sexual history to a partner only to have him throw it back in my face at some point.
  
  Unless you end up with an inexperienced virgin (and not one of those "technical" virgins or "born-again types"), most of your partners are going to have some sort of sexual history, and their exes don't have to be strippers or prostitutes to have "skills."  And just because they're hot doesn't mean they were a good fuck.
  
  He likes you and what you have together.  I know it's easier said than done, but just focus on that.
  

• Fallyn said on Jun 23, 2008....

  one of my best friends was a bouncer in a strip club.
  only the strippers in movies are anything to write home about. ....if they were better looking they'd be models.
  i mean come on.
  
  as for being pissed.........why are you pissed? ....it's your emotion...but i'm not understanding it.
  he didn't cheat on you....he didn't even know you at the time.
  have you ever done something you wish you hadn't? i'm sure right now he's feeling the same way.
  as for forgiving him? i don't know that there is anything to forgive......he didn't wrong YOU.
  you may be disappointed in him...but this was a DECADE ago...people can change SOOOOO much in a decade....i've done it. are you the same person you were a decade ago?
  do you really think he'd do that now? or do you know him well enough to judge that.
  i'm not putting you down...you're entitled to your emotions.....but please think about this long and hard before you decide to roast him over the coals and hang on to resentment about it for years to come.
  
  is it more important to you that he trust you enough to be able to tell you the truth about himself? or is it more important that you not know?
  

• hotaka said on Jun 23, 2008....

  I talked to a stripper once. She was damn fine good looking. She was going to college and was just doing stripping because it paid much better than other jobs. She had ambitions and... well, she was really good looking and had beautiful eyes and...
  
  I am not helping am I?
  
  Star, though it might outrage you to learn about his past, I think your boyfriend said the right things. It was a long time ago. He's with you now. He loves being with you. And you know what? Having a tight little body isn't the only thing that a man wants. When it's love, there's a physical connection that goes beyond sex. Even is the sex is less wild or less porno-esque, the feelings are much deeper and special because there's love. If he gets that from you then it matters not what your underwear size is. He loves to be with you because you make him feel satisfied in soul as well as in flesh. You must be a very special girl then, eh?
  

• Wish_Upon_A_Star said on Jun 24, 2008....

  I would respect him for his honesty. I don't understand the need to be pissed about something that happened so long ago that you were a child. Not all strippers are whores in their off time and to be honest from my few forays into strip clubs they aren't that cute, or most of them aren't at least.
  
  I can understand though how hearing the word stripper must play into your own body issues- since almost every girl believes that all men want the images presented to us in the media and on our minds. At the club i went to the girl who made the most and had the most admirers did not have the typical body you would associate with a stripper. In fact she had a belly the same size as mine and dimples in her ass and thighs. She was just sweet and friendly and made everyone feel like they were the hottest things and had her undivided attention.
  
  Plus being one of the 'guys' most of my life has let me in on the fact that sometimes men want sex, and sometimes they just want to ability to brag to their friends about something or other.
  
  I mean girls do it too, does it make me a slut that i slept with a male porn actor? Or that me and a few girlfriends rented his movies to compare...
  
  LoL the past is the past, and Phil is with you because he thinks you ARE the cats pajamas
  
  
  

• ladyoftheether said on Jun 24, 2008....

  I work in a strip club 5 days a week (waitressing). I can first tell you that 10 years ago the industry was alot different, but the girls were the same. As it is now, not all the dancers are whores, but alot are unfortunately pimped out and willing to do just about anything for a buck.

  Did you ask him if he had a threesome? If you did, then you ought to have been prepared for the possibility of a yes. If not, he's a dick for bringing it up. Don't be mad at him either way. I understand it hurts a bit and makes you wonder about what he might be comparing you to, but he'd be dating that stripper if she was as great as you. (well, he'd be paying alimony to her at least! lol!)

  I asked an ex while we were dating if he'd ever been to a rub and tug, and he said yes, back when he was younger. I was surprisingly mad and disgusted. I know how you feel. In my case, I had to get over it because I did ask and he was honest and it was years ago. It still grossed me out!

  BTW, there are many good looking strippers out there, but unless your man split a g note with his threesome buddy, he probably either paid for a nasty old broad or had free meaningless sex with a woman who happened to be a stripper. Plain and simple. Just think to yourself all the nasty little things you've done with other people that you'd never tell him about, and giggle. We all have a nasty secret side we don't want to share because our mates would cringe. Take a bit of personal power outta those and impress him with the best strip tease you can muster and think about how hot you are, and how wasted and stretchy stripperella from his past probably is now!

• PassionTraveler said on Jun 24, 2008....

  The question no one has asked and I haven't seen answered here: Were you two MARRIED or otherwise SERIOUSLY COMMITTED 10 years ago when this happened? If so, yes, I'd be pissed, but not for the reasons you cite, but because he broke a marriage vow, but if the answer is no, then Starchi, sweetie, it's old news, and has nothing to do with you.
  
  His reply to you was golden, revel in his love for you and forget the experimentation of his younger years.
  
  PT
  

• hottips4u said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Why do I feel after reading the comments above that the comments posted reflect how one might speak to a mentally handicapped person ?
  
  If I follow this correctly, Starchini would have been 10 or 11 when her current boitoi nailed a hooker/dancer ie Hot Chick !   Maybe....it might be just a mans bravado and nothing more, an ego booster to some males....hey guys come listen...last nite...I fucked a whore and then they all break into the clap happy laugh of the family guy....
  
  Sounds to me he hasn't changed his taste in women, just the cost perhaps, imo.
  
  10 years old and worried about a grown man having fucked a whore before she grew a hair under her arm....
  
  Like I said...like conversing with the mentally ill, and all of you were so adapt at it, I commend you !
  
  
  Hottips4u
  
  Jessi
  

• Mr_Box said on Jun 24, 2008....

  I can maybe understand that you were surprised to learn this. But why are you so pissed? It was ages ago. Would it be better if he had a threesome with a girl who wasn't a stripper?
  
  
  It's pretty fucked up to say all strippers are whores too. Come on. Just because one fucked your boyfriend ten years ago, doesn't necessarily make her a whore. Did he pay her for that? If not, then she's just a horny girl looking for some fun. Not a whore.
  
  
  I can appreciate that you feel insecure. But if the dude says he loves you and is satisfied with you, it's pretty stupid to hold something against him that he did 10 years ago. Even if it had been more recently, so what? 
  
  
  As long as it was before he was with you, then it doesn't have anything to do with him not being satisfied with the way you look, etc.
  
  
  For your own sake, as well as his, you need to try and curb your insane jealousy. It's going to drive him crazy and make you miserable in the process.

• SeanRenaud said on Jun 24, 2008....

  +1 to what Box said.

• Eilan said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Star, is it possible that your (over)reaction is partially because of age/inexperience? I might have reacted to this news differently as a 21-year-old than I would if my husband walked into the room right now and said, "Guess what? I banged a stripper 10 years ago."
  

• starchini said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Unique...i only vent my jealous fits here.  I havnt shown him any anger or resentment or jealousy.  He volunteered the information and i just said "oh, wow, thats crazy..."  I didnt get mad at him.  This is just a fight inside my own head.  I havnt express any anger toward him at all.  I told him how i felt like i explained in the post but i didnt show any anger towards him, i just wanted an explanation...

  Sean, men are safe being honest.  I didnt get mad at him.  I didnt ask him to give me this info.  He just volunteered it.  It came up while we were hanging out with his friends.  I didnt get mad at him bc of it.  Im just bitching about how i feel on here.  But i didnt show any jealousy or anger toward him and he know he can be honest with me without retribution.  That doesnt mean i wont vent here though.  I know it is childish and stupid and i know that not all strippers are whores.  It just upset me.  But no im fully aware of how stupid and childish it is, thats the exact reason i never shared my crazy feelings with him  bc he would think i was a psycho, but i can share them with u : >  All i did was tell him how i felt about it very calmly and rationally and he understood and explained, but i was not pissy with him.  I just explained my feelings and why and he explained his and we are done with it.  I just like to fly off the handle here.

  Eilan, nope, i didnt ask him about it.  I knew he had a threesome with one of his guyfriends and i was fine with that.  But we were hanging out with that friend the other day and the friend mentioned it was a stripper.  It just fucked with my head a bit.  I wasnt mad at him though.  I just kept quiet and let it go.  Im still not mad at him for it.  It is just driving me a little nuts.  Thanks eilan.

  Fallyn, im pissed about it bc it was low, dirty and shallow...Im not mad at him.  Everyone thinks i flew off the handle and ripped his head off.  I didnt...im just venting here about it.  I just smiled and nodded my head when he told me and told him how i felt like a sane person.  I didnt make a big deal out of it.  I know its retarded to be mad.  It was a long time ago and it had nothing to do with me.  Its all about principal that upsets me.  I would never have done it.  If a chippendales dancer hit on me and wanted to take me home.  I dont care how drunk i was i never in a million years would have thought about fucking a stripper.  ewww...Its just principal...Im not mad at him though, and no i cant recall me doing anything that i wish i wouldnt have.  Except staying with david so long, that is about it.  As far as actions other than that, nope, everything ive ever done was on purpose and i dont regret it.  And even now i dont think he regrets it, i suposethat iritates me too.  And the fact that he doesnt regret it tell me she musta been pretty awesome.  That pisses me off too.  But again, this being pissed off that im talking about is all in my head.  He didnt think i was mad at all...

  Hotaka, everything u said was spot on and i realize it and those same thoughts are also going through my head.  But the rational thoughts dont bug u and when it come to relationsihps i tend to think the worst so my mind spoke to him rationally but inside i was going nuts.  Thanks though.  I know what is rational and not and i realize im being irrational right now but if i dont get my irrational thoughts out its hard to get rid of them and continue on a path of composure. Ya know what i mean?

  Ah wish, there is no reason for me to be pissed.  The rational side of me knows that.  I totally know how i feel is completly stupid.  But if i dont express my crazy feelings they dont go away and i cant express them to Phil because he will react the way everyone here has "u are crazy and stupid" and i would rather u all think that of me than him : > 

  Lady:  

  Did you ask him if he had a threesome? If you did, then you ought to have been prepared for the possibility of a yes. If not, he's a dick for bringing it up. Don't be mad at him either way. I understand it hurts a bit and makes you wonder about what he might be comparing you to, but he'd be dating that stripper if she was as great as you. (well, he'd be paying alimony to her at least! lol!)

  I DID NOT ASK HIM, he just told me...I know i shouldnt be mad, but i cant help it. Im not really mad at him though, im just mad at what he did.  And ive been keeping it to myself.  I try to ignore my jealous feelings, but i gotta talk about it here : >  "Just think to yourself all the nasty little things you've done with other people that you'd never tell him about, and giggle"-----I have no nasty little things ive done with other people to talk about....This is why im shocked people think i am nasty...Im not very sexually experienced at all and ive never been kinky with anyone but Phil...He brings out the wild cat in me...hes so easy to be around and doesnt judge i can be compeltly open with him.  The nastiest thing ive done with someone else other than him was lick whipped cream off of eachother and i tried handcuffs once...but thats just childs play...Phil is the one ive been experimental with...So no i cant giggle over any nasty secrets, i have none...As far as giving him a lap dance....I dont think so, im not a very good dancer at all...I lack what they call "Rythym"...Im good in bed though, that i dont understand...I guess in bed im more motivated to do it right bc if done correctly i get rewarded with an orgasm, but dancing is just silly, no reward...lol...Just wiggling around.  So dancing naked A- would be embarrising bc i cant dance B- i cant dance and then on top of it being naked would make it doubly mortifying.......ugh...

  Yea i know passion, im just being silly and emotional, i cant help it.  I figure as long as im only crazy here and not with him, its ok...lol...U all get to see the craziest side of me...He gets the rational understanding side and u get to hear me scream.  : ) 

  Jesse u really are a shrewd nasty little person.  Lets see, in that comment, u called me mentally ill and called me a whore.  I might add that that was all completly unprovoked and uncalled for and by me calling u a nasty dumb bitch is not uncalled for at all. 

  And im completly jusitified in doing so.  I cant wait for ur next attack.  And it was u that called me immature.  Being mad about stupid things is one catagory of immaturity...However being a bitch to someone for no reason is a whole other league of immaturity, i play in the little league of immaturity and u my dear are a major league all star.  Congrats. 

  My excuse is that im young and dumb, u however are responsible for another human being...Some how i think i have more of a right than u to be immature, and here u are provoking more fights. 

  Well jesse call me all the names u want.  Ill retaliate on my own blog, but never in a million years will u find me attacking u on ur blog.  Im just not that classless.

   

   

• Zayda said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Okay, so you said the friend that you were hanging out with was a friend he had the threesome with and she is the one that told you that the other person of the threesome was a stripper. Did you think that maybe she did that just to fuck with your head and to make you angry? Is this this ex-lover/partner/fuck buddy of your boyfriend that you don't like? Well, perhaps she's just trying to stir the shit by telling you more details about the threesome.
  
  
  Wait a second, you say that you are pissed because it was "low, dirty, and shallow". Ummm...how do you know it was low, dirty, and shallow? Are you simply assuming that it was dirty because she was a stripper? That's a huge generalization to make on your part. And assuming that all strippers are whores is another huge generalization on your part. In your head you are saying stripper automatically equals whore. And as Mr. Box pointed out, if your boyfriend didn't pay her, then she's not a whore.
  
  
  Further, if this was in the past, why should you care if he had a shallow sexual relationship? It happened in the past!

• starchini said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Yes mr box, it would have been better if he had a threesome with a girl that wasnt a stripper, i dont know why it just wouldve.  I knew about the threesome ages ago and it didnt bug me at all, i just recently learned it was with a stripper and that is when i got upset.  I know its stupid and immature, i just wanted to vent it all out, im better now.  It still bugs me but u know whatever, lots of things bug me. 

  Im not holding anything against him.  Did i say that?  It just bothers me that it happened at all.  It shouldnt have.  I know its in the past and all and not once did it make me question my love for him, it just made me sick that it was done.  I had the same reaction to him sleeping with a stripper that i wouldve had if he said he used to kill animals for fun.  All of that is on the same level for me.  I dont know why.  It just is.  I have very little to no respect for women that earn a living off of T&A...I dont care what reasons.  Its disgusting to me.  I dont hate them, i just wouldnt dare call one my friend.  I dont have a problem with strip clubs either, ive been to a few.  Its entertaining.  Im just saying, people who sell there bodies grosse me out.  Even though its just dancing naked, they are indeed selling their bodies for cash.  Not to be touched or fucked but its all the same to me.  The men get off on it.  The strippers know that the men get off on it.  To make ur living by turning urself into the reason for a boner on purpose is disgusting.  Go to school, get a real job, work at Mcdonalds...Anything is more respectable than being a stripper.  I dont give a shit how good the money is.  Its demeaning and low...U all can disagree with me but ur not gonna be able to change my mind, just a far warning before i accidentally start a war...There is no doubt that there are wonderful talented good people that are strippers, but i still think those wonderful talented good people are disgusting bc they are strippers.  If they were so wonderful and talented they would be doing something else, and good people would have a problem prancing around naked infront of perverted men.  Good people wouldnt shame their family by being naked for a living.  Oh and box, sorry i went of on this rampage about strippers but on another note i know i need to get a handle on my jealousy but its only driving me crazy not him.  I dont show him im jealous.  I keep all the jealousy here and in my head, he has no idea.  Ignore everything i said about strippers i dont want to start a fight.  Strippers are virginal good natured respectable people with a great career that commands respect, they are angelic one might say God- like.  Bwahahaha lol...i cant do it...strippers are stupid....I tried.  I just cant that sentence made no fucking sense at all...luv ya box.  Sorry im such a pain in the ass

  -2 to what sean said : P 

  Eilan, yes my age has ltos to do with it.  I was in a monogomas relationship sense i was 16, Phil is only my 2 long term relationship and im quite inexperienced when it comes to such things.  My first real boyfriend David was a lying son of a bitch cehater asshole...So Phil being so open and honest is good, but im used to being lied to so its hard to deal with...Dont worry though, i dont act like this to him or in public, i just cut lose and vent and bitch here...My relationship with him is wonderful, so long as i can rid my self of jealousy here and not on him.  Itll be fine...

• tizzygirl said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Hey star.....I know what you mean about it for some unknown reason bugging you.....I've been with my boyfriend for a very long time and I have had a longer history and more experience than he has but in the beginning when he shared his with me....one of the things that bugged me is that he dated a stripper....and she actually was gorgeous...I've seen her unfortunately.  BUT, the pissed off feeling faded rather quickly...because it really was entirely my own insecurities angering me and I could see that.  I don't have the same opinion of strippers that you do (but no harsh feeling on your feelings on the matter) so maybe it was different for me?  I didn't find it disgusting that he did it but it did make me wonder if I could live up to someone who obviously had the moves to sell what they had to offer....But really it turns out I'm a million times more wonderful and loved than she ever was and even though I still remember her name...he doesn't...so the pissed off feeling will fade with time I promise.  One day you'll just roll your eyes about it!

• starchini said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Wait a second, you say that you are pissed because it was "low, dirty, and shallow". Ummm...how do you know it was low, dirty, and shallow? Are you simply assuming that it was dirty because she was a stripper?

  Zayda, the friend he had the threesome with was a dude.  It was phil (dude one) Kelsey (dude two) and the stripper (chic one)  Its was a threesome involving two guys anda stripper.  And she didnt have to be paid to be a whore, getting paid is the definition of a prostitute, not a whore...A whore is just someone who sleeps with lots of people just cuz.  Im not making any genralizations about how it happened.  I know the whole story.  Phil and his buddy were at a strip club and this stripper was grinding on them and they all were flirting and she invited them to her place after her shift.  She was on duty!!!  I can understand if this stripper wasnt working and hooked up with a guy, thats not a big deal.  But she was on the job inviting "patrons" back to her place.  That is whorish, i dont care who says otherwise.  Phil and Kelsey knew her for 5 minutes before she invited them to her place.  I cant imagine that that was her first time doing so.  Phil said him and Kelsey went over for a few drinks and she immediatly started stripping them naked and kissing them.  Before they knew it Kelsey and Phil were running the train on her.  They all three exchanged numbers and after they were done fucking the whore they left.  And nothing more came of it.  So that is how i know.  And another thing im not saying all strippers are whores.  Im saying most.  And the ones that are not whores have no self respect and are low and dirty in my book.  Being naked for a living wether u have sex or not earns u the title of slut.  I know that is not the definition of a slut but the word some how fits correctly to me.  Its just a disgusting profession and they will get no respect from me. 

  Further, if this was in the past, why should you care if he had a shallow sexual relationship? It happened in the past!

  I realize that and i never said that i should care.  I know i shouldnt.  Me knowing that my feelings are stupid doesnt make them go away.

  Thanks tizzy for understanding...Im not mad about it anymore.  I was pissed about it when i wrote the blog, i know how i felt was stupid just like u and im over it.  The fact that it was a stripper bugged me the most.  Not because she might have been hot and im jealous.  Well its a little that.  But mostly why it pisses me off is the principal.  "Strippers; women who dance grind and seduce naked for middle aged men for money" what part of that definition isnt disgusting on all levels?  Who in there right mind would want to fuck a person with that little self respect and moral code?  Oh thats right, my boyfriend...YUCK!!!  Anyways, im over it.  Its in the past.  I just think its a rather unattractive fact about him.  It tells me that Phil is the kind or was the kind of guy that would sleep with any kind of person as long as it was warm.  That fact makes me wonder about myself.  Am i "any person that is warm"...Am i comparable to a stripper?  Men tend to follow patterns and fuck the same sort of people. .  How would u feel if u found out ur boyfriend had sex with a goat and commited beastiality?  In my book strippers are animals and id be less upset if i found out he raped a dog. 

  Ill admit im exagerating slightly, but  fucking a stripper and beastiality are one in the same according to me. 

  Thats gonna provoke, lots of attacks im sure...ah well...Thats how i feel so thats what i said. 

• anonymous said on Jun 24, 2008....

  its not so baa baddddd......... = )

• starchini said on Jun 24, 2008....

  atleast uve got a sense of humor abuot it : P  hehe...if u cant laugh at urself who can u laugh at?  Me prolly...yea definitly me...I know my views can be rather harsh sometimes and im sorry for offending any strippers out there...Im not perfect either.  Its not my intention to hurt feelings...its just something i would never do and i have a hard time understanding how a respectable human being can put themselves into that profession willingly and be able to look at themselves in the mirror everyday.  I could not.  But if u are a stripper and u love it and see no problems with it.  More power to u.  I just dont respect it...and that is my own fault.  Pay no mind to my opinion, its just my own and i do not matter. 

• Fallyn said on Jun 24, 2008....

  *HUGE HUGS*
  you don't have to defend yourself to everyone here.
  
  

• anonymous said on Jun 24, 2008....

  no dude you don't

• SeanRenaud said on Jun 24, 2008....

  She totaly does, or I'll grind her bones to make my bread.

• WASnotWAS said on Jun 24, 2008....

  Do you trust what he says today!? Dogs don't stop barking because of new owners.Of course...you were a virgin when you met Phil..RIGHT!?

  Did'nt you screw him right off? You bought the whole shlmeel.

• Wish_Upon_A_Star said on Jun 24, 2008....

  wow i don't understand all the bitchiness being spewed forth here in comment land. Jessie that was completely uncalled for, i don't understand your or anyones need to stir up internet drama. Although i should commend you for not being an anonymous troll and being proud to be your drama loving self.
  
  I've done some soft core adult modeling- it helped my self esteem rise and i find nothing wrong with it. So yeah more power to me, i get paid every once in a while to be made to feel absolutely gorgeous and goddesslike.
   

• ladyoftheether said on Jun 25, 2008....

  well if he just volunteered the information he's a complete arse! Anyone over the age of 18 should have the presence of mind to NOT talk about past sexploits with a current love unless they're "into that". Shmuck him upside the head, girl! He was probably insecure about something you may have done recently that made him jealous, and did what alot of people do with out even realising they're doing it. Not that you'd be doing horrible things, but if he may feel threatened or even old and outdated, he'd be pretty likely to run his mouth about what he's capable of. However, if he hadn't had past experiences, he may not be rocking your world now, and you may not be learning all the nifty sex tricks!

  The dancing thing, yeah, I get that. I'm a pretty good dancer and I can't even bring myself to do that either. Just a suggestion!

  P.S. wow! That Jesse broad was waaaaay outta line! Ouch! Good response! Very classy! ;)

  p.s.s...I truly don't believe there is such things as whores. Its just a notion men came up with because of aversion to sexual power. There are prositutes and sexually active people. Period. The closest thing I can equate to a "whore" are women who have self-disrespecting sex. I've personally had alot of sex with strangers in my distant past just to feel liked, and that would be close to a "whore". The word "whore" comes about only because sex is a man's weakness, and women can offer it, therefore allotting an amount of power over men. Of course, many (not all) men are uncomfortable with a woman having such an abstract power over them, so a negative conotation is the obvious response. Yay  to the last 2000 years of ignorance and male domination! What a bunch of ninnies we are!

• hottips4u said on Jun 25, 2008....

  New persona's huh ?  That's a lot of name to wrap around your warped skulls.
  
  Lets see, two males and two females each male as a female and the females simply their trashy selves while the two males play at suicide and demeaning women...yea...such great camouflages.
  
  Nasty is nasty no matter what name you give it in order to hide. 
  
  Each of you are losers and one day inmates !   Its just a matter of time...hehe
  
  
  
     

• SeanRenaud said on Jun 25, 2008....

  Actually I think he was dropping a hint at this point, if he volunteered this information he may have been testing the waters.

• hottips4u said on Jun 25, 2008....

  Ya think ...  : /   ?
  
  hehe.....I make puppets pixels unstable = )
  
  jess
  

• starchini said on Jun 25, 2008....

  Sean u are too funny.  I hope he wasnt dropping a hint.  I dont think he was.  I was just standing their as his buddy brought it up and they were talkign about it infront of me.  It wasnt a conversation directed towards me.  I was just standing there and his friend was all discussing that stripper they banged years back reminiscing and crap. 

  WasnotWas, im not sure i understand ur comment...I do trust him today, i trust him very much.  I have trust issues but considering the situation, i trust him a great deal.  I do not think he would ever intentionally hurt me.  And no, i was not a virgin when i met Phil and no i didnt screw him off right away, i was seeing him over a month before we slept together.  And i dont know what smeal u are talking about that i bought....? 

  Wish, there is a world of difference between stripping for tips and soft core modeling.  I understand that it would make u feel beautiful and Goddesslike...but dont u think its a demeaning way to make urself feel beautiful..I mean, men dont buy ur pictures to frame and put in art galleries, they buy them to jerk off too....I just dont think its a very mentally healthy way to boost ur self esteem...In an indirect way its kinda like saying ur not beautiful unless men think so.  Its not healthy...I totally understand why u feel beautiful and it boosts ur self esteem.  I mean that is obvious.  People standing around in aww, photographer saying "thats it, gorgeous", being paid,  people actually wanting to see u naked.  Of course it makes u feel fantastic.  Im just saying there are other ways to feel beautiful and boost ur self esteem...I just think its kinda sad that u need that kind of affirmation from others to feel worthy.  I think u are a great person wish and u have no comparison with a stripper.  Soft core modeling is classy...even though the people who buy it are not.  What u do is not completly sexually driven...I dont know whati m trying to say exactly...its in my head but i dont know how  to type it...What u do and what a stripper does is completly different.  I respect u.  And if given enough money, id prolly let people take pictures of me half nude too.....maybe, i dont know...But there is no way in hell i would dance in front of horny men so that they would put dollar bills in my G-string...thats is disgusting....But a sexy picture with a back drop and a photographer, maybe...luv u ...

  Lady, good point...Phil has given me the absolute best sex of my life.  Before Phil id only ever had maybe 2 orgasms with a guy....but with phil, NIGHTLY!!!  Unbelievable...Good point, maybe absentmindedly i made him jealous some how through the day and he felt the need to show me up or something...i dont know.  I dont much care anymore.  Weve discussed it, i got over it...and by u putting his skills in the equation im fucking happy it happened....bc u are right, if Phil wasnt such a man whore back in the day he wouldnt rock my pussy so well now : >  Great point lady!  It also makes me glad that i was never a whore, bc if i was i wouldnt be able to appreciate his skillz like  i do.  Phil also like that im inexperienced, it makes him feel like a stud.  I agree with ur whore view, technically there is no such thing, their are prostitutes, virgins and the sexually active.   Whore is a demeaning word, and i use it to describe the sexually immoral.  Strippers i believe are sexually immoral, i call them whores.  Thanks lady

  *Hottips*- u must have been correct, i must be mentally ill, bc all i just read was blah blah blah blah blahbity blah im a dumb bitch blah blah blabidity blah poop.  I can say one thins though, i absolutly agree with u.  : ) ***Have a nice day honey, I dont care if u lick windows, or ride the short bus, ur freakin special!***

   

• SeanRenaud said on Jun 25, 2008....

  Ok there is a difference between bringing it up in conversationt o you, and you being present for "Oh dude do your remember the Kegger!"  "With Kelly!  Yeah the stripper cept making her take shots out of her cooze!"  "YEah and she got so drunk she started giving out blow jobs!"  "Drunk my ass, you can't get drunk on Pucker no matter how much you drink, I know.  She's wanted to do that her entire life!"  "Oh shit my girlfriend is in the room.  Uh he means we were playing Street Fighter. . .
   
  And hey baby you know I once had a threesome.

• starchini said on Jun 25, 2008....

  lol, no sean, it wasnt eavesdropping...i had been standing next to him the whole night.  I was right there and he knew it when it came up in conversation...He just really thought it wouldnt bug me at all...and it shouldnt have, i know that...but it did...im not upset anymore, i just needed to absorb it, i just got all stupid, it happens...But he was well aware i was there and could here it all and they left no detail untold.  turds....

• SeanRenaud said on Jun 25, 2008....

  I didn't mean to accuse you of eavesdropping, I was more saying there is a difference between hey baby you know I did this once, which is fishing for your feelings on the subject and two guys talking and not thinking you'd be upset over it.

• starchini said on Jun 25, 2008....

  yea i know what u mean, and thats why i didnt think it was assholish for him to say it sense it wasnt directed toward me : > 

• RumTail said on Jun 27, 2008....

  Please don't hold it against him.  The past is the past.  If he didn't love you he would've lied his way through it. 
  
  For the record a hot little body does not mean she was great in the sack, it just means she probably worked out.  ;D
  

• anonymous said on Jun 28, 2008....

   
  
  
                       rename post skanky gone wild

• starchini said on Jun 30, 2008....

  Rumtail, im not holding it against him.  I love him very much it was just disapointing.  I was just being silly and emotional.  I was feeling insecure and intimidated.  We talked about it and we are cool.  We understand...Its easy to know how u are supose to think, its easy to know rationality but its so hard to force urself to believe whats rational...I know that it had nothing to do with me and i know that it was in the passed and it doesnt matter and he chose me and all that...so i always knew what the "right" think to think was, but actually thinking it was much harder.  But i finally got it down.  I just had to get all my "craziness" out of my system.  Thanks rumtail. 

  Anon, fuck off.  Skanky gone wild...some peoples kids...i wonder about them. 

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