I love my children, but as a rule I really, really don't like other
people's children.** I know my girls aren't perfect, but I
tolerate, even embrace, their quirks because they're my children and I love them unconditionally.
One of the things I did over the past couple of Internet-free weeks was
take three of my daughters to beginner's swim classes through the local
YMCA. The classes ended on Friday, and I'm really glad to get
them out of the way.
Only one of my girls (my oldest) can do anything remotely resembling swimming after
10 days of instruction. I'm not sure the class was worth the $50
per child I shelled out.
The class was too big, for one thing: 10 students to one
instructor. I understand that the Y's director wants the classes
to be as full as possible so she can pay the instructor and make at
least a small profit, but I think the children would have done better
with more individualized instruction.
I felt a bit sorry for the instructor, who was relatively young,
probably 18 or 19 years old. She knew her stuff, but she spent
way too much of the class time trying to
corral the discipline problems. The classes were for children
aged 4-11, and one of the requirements was that the children had to be
able to follow directions. In fact, I withheld my youngest
daughter because I knew she wouldn't follow directions--she can
follow directions, obviously, but in group settings with other children
she gets overly enthusiastic and is less likely to listen because she's
too busy socializing.
It would have been nice if the parents of four children in the class had felt the same way.
One little boy (we'll call him Ethan) was particularly annoying.
Ethan refused to listen to the instructor or his mother or
grandmother. On the second day of class, he was actually kicked
out for the day because he continued to disobey--and he hit his grandma
when she tried to make him listen! To keep him from throwing a a
bigger tantrum than he was already throwing, Ethan's grandma offered to
take him to Dairy Queen.
Great. Reward him for misbehaving.
Today, both my husband and I attended the class, presumably to see what
the girls had "learned." Ethan decided to splash our
five-year-old full-on in the face, which wouldn't have been a big deal
if the water hadn't been a bit overchlorinated. My husband kinda
yelled at him, and I was concerned that Grandma might take issue with
him for overstepping his boundaries, but she didn't say anything.
How could she? Her grandson was being a brat. He decided to
start hitting another little girl, since she didn't have a daddy there
to yell at him. That backfired, though, because he'd been picking
on her for the past couple of weeks, and she decided to fight back.
Anyway, the classes are over, and I hope I don't run into Ethan anytime soon.
**Just an afterthought: I did enjoy the children I encountered this
year when I volunteered in the school library, but the teachers did a
great job of keeping them in line.
Eilan posted on Jun 20, 2008
| views: 104
Comments
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Fallyn said on Jun 20, 2008....
i'm with you eilan not a huge fan of other peoples kids.....though i have found a few that have captured my heart. -
Eilan said on Jun 20, 2008....
Fallyn: I did a fair amount of babysitting and tutoring in high-school and college, and I got attached to those children/teens. And some of my girls' friends are real sweeties. But still, it seems like my tolerance for children has waned as I've gotten older. :-p -
queenparanoia said on Jun 20, 2008....
10 kids per 1 instructor? and for swimming? oh yeah your asking for trouble alright. why did she just have kids to instruct? -
Fallyn said on Jun 20, 2008....
eilan...i've never had a high tolerance for little kids.......teens i do fine with......i wonder if it just gets worse as i age? -
Eilan said on Jun 20, 2008....
qp: Yeah, my husband and I thought the 10:1 ratio was a bit much, too. When I learned to swim, the classes were smaller--no more than 5 or 6 kids, if that. And our parents didn't hover, either. I think some of the children might have done better without their parents.
I have no idea how the instructor was selected.
Fallyn: I've wondered the same thing as I've gotten older.
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Fallyn said on Jun 20, 2008....
i know my kids would do better without me there.
littlest is learning to swim....i wouldn't leave her to an instructor though....she is ABSOLUTELY fearless.
she's only 4. and will jump HEAD FIRST into the deep end without any qualms whatsoever. it's one of my top priorities to teach her some actual skills. i don't go more than 2 feet away from her even in water that is waist deep for her....cause of the stunts she likes to try.....like underwater sommersaults. i'm afraid that one time she just won't come up again. she's such a tiny thing....small for 4. and the bigger kids might not see her under the water and knock into her or something.,
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Eilan said on Jun 21, 2008....
My four-year-old is terrified of the water. We took her to some of the lessons and let her wear arm floaties and sit on the pool steps. After the lessons, my oldest tried to carry her into the deeper water, but she'd have none of it.
A friend (and ex-neighbor) of ours has an above-ground pool. I think my husband and I will take the girls over there and help them use what they learned in the class. -
Fallyn said on Jun 21, 2008....
that's a really good idea.
my little one doesn't have that little trigger in her mind that says "wait, i might get really hurt" ...it just seems to e nonexistent.
in fact last night we ended up in the emergency room cause she stuck a plastic headband in her ear and then it broke and hurt her.
she's fine...it just hurt for an hour.
she's sworn though that she will NEVER NEVER stick things in her ear ever again.
last year we were in the ER cause she'd stuck beads up her nose.
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Eilan said on Jun 21, 2008....
Poor thing! I'll bet she doesn't make that mistake again. She'll just find other ways to get hurt. :D
We spent the evening of July 4, 2003 at our local Express Care center because my then almost-three-year-old stuck a tiny plastic Hamtaro carrot up her nose!
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Fallyn said on Jun 21, 2008....
well, when I was little. *laughing* we had a story on tape about a little boy that pushed a bean up his nose and it sprouted.........i NEVER put things up MY nose.......wish i'd played that tape for my daughter. :P -
travelr712 said on Jun 21, 2008....
notice how much of a difference it makes when discipline is imposed on children? just one bratty child can ruin the experience for the entire group. i think it's a shame that in our present society, men have to be worried about'stepping over the boundaries' when they find a little terror and stop the little brat from harming other children. i think your husband should've been allowed to bring the full brunt of fatherly oppression on that boy for the duration of the class, just to show the child that there are concequences for behavior. -
Fallyn said on Jun 21, 2008....
there was a little boy like this at the church we attended when i was little......my dad started disciplining him on a regular basis. ...ie every week.
the mother wasn't a single mother but her husband was gone often and never attended church. Her older children were very well behaved. but after a few months of dad's discipline the littlest one started behaving better too. He still acted up for his mom but when dad was around he would behave himself.
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Eilan said on Jun 21, 2008....
Fallyn: Believe it or not, that actually happened to my great-grandmother when she was a child. Caused a lot of pain and swelling, apparently. My grandma got a pencil eraser stuck in her ear and never told anyone. it came out months later.
I stuck a Colorform piece up my nose when I was 4. I was definitely old enough to know better, but I wanted to see what would happen. My mom freaked out and called my grandma, who said, "Just have her sniff some pepper." Worked like a charm!
trav: It's not only in situations like that one, either. At a playground a couple of years ago, my husband got some dirty looks from a woman (who had left her child unattended, BTW) after he helped her daughter across the monkey bars. Our girls had just gone across and this girl had lined up behind them. What was my husband supposed to do? Just turn away and ignore her so he wouldn't be seen as a child predator?
My husband didn't care about overstepping any boundaries. Old cop habits die hard, I guess.
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travelr712 said on Jun 22, 2008....
it seems to me that people are just oversensative about things like that thinking they're protecting their children, when in reality they're hurting them.i don't care much about boundaries in situations like that either, i'll take the looks and risk the yells. well, actually, i just don't think about it until the situation is over.
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