I've just booked for a flight to Melbourne to see my bf on our second anniversary.

I really want to be together with him. I am not from Melbourne. I went back to my country after i completed my degree in Melbourne.

Should i pop the question to him? Since we both have genuine feeling for each other and want to be together.

I am afraid he is not ready. At the moment, he is in his last semester in uni. He wants to work in Sydney as his is highly ambitious to be an investment banker.

I understand we need both love and bread to mantain this relationship. Meanwhile, i am a fresh graduate who is still looking for a job in my home country.

He came to visit me last month. We had a wonderful time together. When he left, the only words he gave me was 'when we both get a job, everything will be better, we will work the rest out'

That means a lot to me, but it also gimme hopes that we will be together soon. Be honest, the only way to be together at the moment is to marry with me.

When I left Melbourne, i had a talk with him about our future. He freaked out as he relate the whole talk to a kind of commitment and refused to further discuss it as he is not ready to commit nor is he ready to marry. He told me he wouldn't marry until he is 28.

I was sad, we had fights on that, as i need him to give me advice on things. I did not ask him to marry me or anything. I was just asking what should we do, should i go back? or stay.

Well, maybe guy will just get freak out when it comes to thing like that? He is 23 this year. I am 22.

I left Melbourne and went back to my home country. He missed me terribly and came to find me. He has melted the wall i have put up on him since the discussion we had.

I did not ask much about what he want out of his visit. I enjoyed the holiday with him here. He told me he loves me.

But thinking ahead that we are apart by sea and that we don't have a stable flow of income to support ourselves has made me cross my finger on this.

It seems like this love is a burden. I did not know if i should just move on without him happily in my home country or work things out with him.

Working things out with him would be tough, as he is sensative about the whole commitment and marriage issue. What could i work out if i don't even have a legal right to stay and work in Melbourne?

Me too is ambitious and want to build my carreer. I am afraid if i waste my time messing around with him , i will waste my opportunity to advance in a few years time.

We stay in touch through internet when we are apart. He is more passionate online after his visit, he messages me most time , telling me he misses me and everything. We did had a great time online with joke and laughter.

But the more we like each other, the more we feel the need to be together. But i am afraid all he meant was just if we get a job, we could afford to travel frequently to see each other and we will work out from there.

I think that is too far away and the wages in my country is much much lower than the wages in Melbourne. I don't think i could afford for the frequent traveling. I do need someone here to share my life with me, it is either i have someone here or i don't. I don't want to have someone far away and suffer when i can't see him.

Imagine he would only want to get marry in 28. It would be 5 years of traveling to see each other. If we ever meant that much to each other, i believe we would probably be married after a few visits.

Should i just wait?

I don't think 5 years of frequent traveling is rational, people do get lonely and want to have someone by their side. Five years is a long time.

Should i pop the question in our anniversary? Or should i just wait until we got a stable job? I don't think this is a kind of question , a girl should ever ask guy.

It would be fine if a guy ask a girl and even he gets turn down, he could still be with her and wait until she is ready.

But if girl ever do that and get turn down, that will be the end of the relationship.


I just want both of us to be happy. And if we ever want to be together, i just want an equal right to advance my career and to live with him there. I don't want to force him to do things he doesn't want to , including marriage. But if that is the only way which determines the chances we can be together, i hope he will give a thought about it.

To me, marriage is when you feel that he is the right one and also the one u love and want to spend the rest of ur life with. To build a home with. To enjoy every moment together and to have kids when you are ready.

I will only marry if i love him and want to be together with him but not because of the citizenship or anything. I still believe in true love and only marry with the one you love but not his money, status and power.