A bicycle cant stand alone: its two tired.
A will is a dead getaway
A backward poet writes inverse
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
In a democracy is your vote that counts. In feudalism is your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
He broke into songs because he couldnt' find the keys.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A lot of money is tainted: 'taint your and 'taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photography memory which was never developed.
The short fortune teller who escaped the prison: a small medium at large.
When you have seen one shopping center you 've seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When she saw her first strand of gray she thought she dyed.
Santa's helpers are subordinated clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
A smile is a frown upside down...
LOL......wanna some more? There you have it....
A pick-up expressed in musical terms:Come on...it WAS funny....howabout this one?.
hymn (the guy)
bar line (where he meets her)
sax (what he wants)
suite (what he says she is)
sheet music (what she puts on the CD player in her room)
sol-fa (what they lie down on)
"Triad!" (he suggests tying her up with a major chord)
"Duet!" (her answer)
staff (what he pulls out next)
score (what he does)
no treble (what he's had)
a trill (what he assumes she's had)
a C note (what she hopes for)
forte (what she's willing to accept)
a tenor (what he ends up paying)
"Bass!" (what she calls him)
"Pitch!" (what he calls her)
Documentation Sex Quiz
1. What are the fallopian tubes?Geez......if you guys are difficult to please....ok, these are my last ones......
a. Bicycle tires
b. A subway in Italy
c. All of the above2. What is a urethra?
a. A female black singer
b. The opposite of myrethra
c. Something you hang on your door for Chrithmeth
3. What is an ovary?
a. A book written by Flaubert
b. A passing grade at school
c. A famous WWII song
4. What is fellatio?
a. A person who collects stamps
b. Mr. Hornblower's first name
c. A non-dairy whipped topping popular in Italy
5. What is a testicle?
a. A test to see if you're ticklish
b. One of the two parts of the Bible
c. An octopus' arm
6. What is cunnilingus?
a. A form of pasta
b. The language of love
c. An Irish airline
7. What is a gonad?
a. A cheer for NAD high school
b. A person who wanders from place to place
c. A Moody Blues song
8. What is a vulva?
a. A Swedish car
b. The punching bag in your throat
c. An engine part
9. What is a seminal vesicle?
a. An Indian boat
b. A priest's retreat
c. A discussion on the subject of veins and arteries
12. What is a penis?
a. A salty snack you have with beer
b. A Charles Shultz comic strip
c. Liberace
Boner Question: What is an Anus?
a. Part of a famous black comedy team
b. A planet--home of Superman
c. A herbaceous plant
We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.
Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married? Can't elope.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.
She was the apple of his eye and he liked to sit down be cider.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Forbidden fruit causes many jams.
Some say the moon affects the tide. Others, the untied.
Russia was slow to recover after WW2 because it kept Stalin around.
The dictator was really upset about the neckwear he had received as a gift. What a tie rant.
A bust is made of famous people who were a head of their time.
Communism is a complicated thing. You must think about from all sorts of Engels.
There's no short cut to becoming a hair stylist.
He crashed through several windows, but felt no pane.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
And this last one is just for me...
Why are Italians so good at making coffee? Because they really know how to espresso themselves.
Hope you had some fun....remember.....a laugh a day keeps the doctor away.....:-0
