ok so i'm really bitchin all day.oh well.i am in one of shittiest moods in long while.and i'm sorry i'm dumping bs all over this place.i did say earlier though,me and others are much safer if i'm sittin at this stupid thing doing this stupid shit than if i was -no matter where i'd be-much worse shit would be going down.i wanna cut,i wanna just rip my throat open and splatter my blood everywhere.i HATE myself.i am nothing.fucking nothing.yes my mood is getting more pissy,agitated,aggressive....and yeah before the night is over i am gonna have to do something physicaly aggressive.probley to myself.i feel totaly fucking shitty.sorry for my gettin crazy on my F word again.but i'm a very upset,unhappy,miserable bitch right now.i'm probley offending people and that is not my intention.....but i'm really losing control all over again.and yes more and more of recently i scare the shit ioutta myself.my last hospitilazation a staff told me-i forget the exact words now,so forget it.no bfd.i feel like cutting,slashing,jabbing,stabbing,and bludgeoning myself til i'm unable to do anything else.alright.i think i better stop and get doing something.......my words are about to get really foul............i gotta do something.....................my insides hurt like hell and i cannot take another fuckin minute of it.so i'm stopping.
killingme4u posted on Jun 17, 2008
| views: 121
Comments
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moonriver said on Jun 17, 2008....
hey living girl. i'm in a short break from my hospital duty, watching over my mom. all those tubes and liquids goin in and out of her are just plain depressing. one can only take so much. i needed some fresh air. i'm in a nearby internet cafe, shootin the breeze. a fuckin shitty day for you, huh? you should listen to how mine fuckin went yesterday... wanna change fuckin places? :-)
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killingme4u said on Jun 17, 2008....
yeah moon.i wanna run away anyway and i always wanted to see asia.maybe i'll come lookin for ya.we can get fuckin shit faced drunk together or something.you up for it??? :)))) -
moonriver said on Jun 17, 2008....
sure. but not now, my friend. gotta get back to the hospital in a few minutes. my break time's up.
i'd probably be in china by year's end. i had wanted to be there in time for the olympics, but with my mother's condition, all my plans have to be shelved for a while. how about you meet me at the great wall? we could get fuckin shitfaced drunk out there... :-)
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I'mNotHungry said on Jun 17, 2008....
GD! I feel the same fucking way tonight!
I feel like a caged animal on high alert!!!
There is no peace tonight, no solace in anything.Wanna have a *food fight*
I ain't gonna eat it, might as well throw it! -
CayenneMan said on Jun 18, 2008....
Hi killingme-4u, I felt very similar to the way you have felt in the past. It only took a few gently spoken words to remove the pain from my body. I felt better almost instantaneously. All I said was "sir would you kindly pull up a foot or two your truck tire is on top of my foot." -
killingme4u said on Jun 18, 2008....
INH-yes i'm up for a food anyday.just say when.... Cman-like ya always do to me i'm sitting here laughung quietly at your comment. :))) thank's people................
Comment on "me again.me=Nothing."
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