As usual gentle readers, I have a some deep thoughts about life and a few questions to ask you.

Due to recent and drastic changes in my life, I have had many long hours to contemplate the answers to these questions in my own life. I have had to love myself and others, enough to take a long hard look, and speak the truth in love.

Here are the questions I have had to ask myself:

1.) Do you, in your own life, produce figs or thorns? Are you a fig tree which naturally produces the sweet life giving fig fruit? Or are you a bramble bush of thorns, that keeps expecting to produce luscious figs or grapes, despite your very nature?

I have three of the most wonderful children that I could ever imagine being blessed with.  Despite life's trials and tribulations, they are loving, kind, honest and great prayer partners as well.  They make friends easily and are loyal too.  They love people from infants to the elderly.  I am so proud to be their mother.

Are they my fruit?  Perhaps.  But that might discount their Creator, their Designer.  And it might not be giving them enough credit either, for working at being "better children", every single day.

My work has changed somewhat.  Instead of being a housewife, mother, writer and other "titles", I have had to do some things lately that I didn't think I would have to do again.  I have had to really swallow my pride...set aside my ego, and humble myself in ways that felt like I could not have done before.  I didn't think I had much pride, a big ego...I thought I was pretty humble...wait, does that sound arrogant?  ; )  See what I mean? 

We can always learn more, abase ourselves further, and then, we can ask for more Lord...make me more like You.  Perfect me.  Mould me.  Shape me into the woman you always intended me to be.  More Lord.

I have had to listen to the voice of those who love me.  The ones that really love me.  Not the ones that just say they love me, or that they have loved me...no.  In order to really grow, I have to listen to the ones that love me no matter what.  The ones that God has put into my life to teach me.

My children are my teachers.  They remind me of so many things that the Teacher has said and taught to me.  That is good.  In fact, that is great.  They don't try to be better than me, but that is my hope...my prayer.  So far, it looks like my prayers are being answered.  : )

My mother who has come back into my life after a hiatus has helped me.  She apologized to me about some things in our past.  That was not necessary (she was already forgiven), but it was good (I was surprised and blessed).  I did the same.  Forgiveness always makes us grow.

My husband has taught me some things again lately.  In his journey, he thought he was farther along than the fruit he bore seemed to show.  But that was really all it took.  Taking a good hard look at his life...he saw that he had done many things wrong, and he purposed to change, to grow, to learn more and to never stop learning.

What more can we ask for as Christians?  To grow more and more everyday.  Learning to literally "put on Christ", to wear His righteousness, and let go of all self-righteousness.  Who would honestly choose to be flawed, weak or deceived?  If they really understood what wonderful things we can accomplish, when we choose to learn from, and do all that we can to be a willing and passionate pupil of the Master of the universe? ; )

His discoveries helped me to see things in myself that I had let go.  Some things were stolen from me, but some I simply let go.  I forgot how to dream.  I forgot all of the visions that were given to me, were FOR me. 

That may not make sense to some of you...but as a woman, I would often think of how I could share these wonderful things, how I could best use them for others' benefit.  In the process...I forgot about me.  I needed them.  He gave them to me because of His love for me...not just because of His love for others.  It may sound simple to you, but it is this simplicity that tends to elude me in times like the ones I have had lately. 

I got an email today from a prayer request months ago.  In it she said for me to remember that God loves me more than anything I could ever do for Him.  Wow.  That was just what I needed to remember.  That was something I learned from the Lord almost twenty years ago...but lately, I had not been living like I had learned it.

Let me share something with you from Life's instruction manual:

Luke 6:43-45 (RSV)

Jesus said, "For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit; for each tree is known by its own fruit.  For figs are not gathered from thorns, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush.  The good man out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure produces evil; for out of the abundand of his heart his mouth speaks."

My second, and last question is this:

2.) How is your Foundation? 

Have you dug down deep in your life, and have you built your house on solid Rock?  Or is your foundation shallow, in sand, or do you even have One?

I think this was a hard question for me to ask myself.  As a mother, I am very close to my children.  We have a Rock solid relationship.  My husband and I usually had a good relationship too.  Or else, we would not have stayed happily married for nearly twenty years.  But now, we were separated again.  This was both fruit of our marriage, and showed a weak foundation...or cracks...or that being half right also means that you are half wrong.  Ouch.  It took me totally by surprise, but it really didn't.  That was my conflict.  Facing things as they were, and still, not giving up hope.  I had to be broken to be blessed I guess. 

Being called a Polly-anna by my sister, or being told that I lived in an ivory tower by a former boss-lady, or that I am "pathological" by my brothers because I really believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit...well, that was nothing compared to the reality that my husband and I were separated...AGAIN.  Broken.  My hope was lost.  I thought that could not possibly happen again.  But it did.

Now, I know what was wrong.  Well, most of it.  I won't go into that here, but I understand a dream I had a long time ago.  I understand the Foundation and that we needed a better one, square, solid, and deep.  Deeper than I could go alone...it had to be made much deeper.  Deeper to withstand ANY flood the enemy could send against us.  Deeper than anything I ever understood before.

Let me share another quote from Life's instruction manual:

Luke 6:46-49 (RSV)

Jesus said, "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?  Every one who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like:  he is like a man building a house, who dug deep, and laid the foundation upon a rock; and when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house, and could not shake it, because it had been well built.  But he who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground withut a foundation; against which the stream broke, and immediatey it fell, and the ruin of that house was great."

I hope that each of you love yourselves enough to ask yourself those questions, dig deep and tell yourself and your loved ones the answers and face the truth in love.  They are the important kind of questions that we should ask ourselves, and frequently I would suggest...so that the Good Lord who always corrects those that He loves, doesn't have to put you into a situation where you have many, many hours to reflect upon them...whether you like it or not.

Much love to you this day, my fellow think-babies.  Speaking of babies, it was a most special blessing to see that my dear SC friend hotaka is now a proud papa.  See how faithful our heavenly Father is?  I was actually feeling quite blue today...and then, I decided to check in on SC, my friends fearing, polarheart, and all of you...and what did I find? 

I found Hope in the blessing of my friend hotaka's little son, in his birth.  Life goes on, we dare not miss it....we are but a blink in time, and one chance is all we get friends : ) 

Welcome little hotkin. 

You hold on baby, it's gonna be a wild and exciting ride. 

Love, love, love,

Truthsayer