ok so i'm back at my stupid bitch rambling,again.some been going on....so......it's either this,or drink,or cut,or all of it and more.instead i'm sitting here fuckin crying cuz i feel so fuckin shitty.sorry but i do.and damn i ain't even got words to do it.past week everything comin out in actions.and i ain't going into all my antics of just the past week.1)i'd probley really disgust people even more. 2)i'm not into bragging.not now anyway.:l fuck. this is'nt...................working out to well.shit.just fuck it.i'll try later.i ain't kniow.but i gotta do something.my insides are bezerking.BUT if i get up from this now knowing me i will just go do something stupid to myself or end up in trouble somewhere again.i just got off my probation at the near end of last year.i get arrested again i'm not gonna get it so easy this/next time.and as i much as i wanna lash out at everything right now.....ya know....just set this whole damn world on fire......i swear i feel so mentaly/physicaly exhausted just thinkin of the shit i'd like to go out and do to be a total hateful destructive bitch drains the hell outta me. i know ppl don't like to read this kinda bs and i'm sorry.............but i could be 'out there' doing much much worse than typing this bs.i'm not in the mood to be committed or sitting in jail.not at the moment.but with an hour from now i very well could have my ass in jail or sitting in the er again.i'm to unpredictable to myself.i know i'm making no sense to anyone.i'm rambling on purpose.i'm making myself sit here rambling off this bs because i'm afraid to get up from this thing.at this moment rambling trhis shit is keeping me from acting out in other ways.no one here knows my history.i'm not bragging(?)) but i do know what angry shit i am capable of.i can be a downright horrible nasty fucking bitch.i'm not proud of it but...............damnitt.I ain't know what to fucking do.i just feel like shit.
killingme4u posted on Jun 17, 2008
| views: 77
Comments
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secretlife said on Jun 17, 2008....
i'm so glad you decided to sit here and write it instead of doing something to act out. come on, give yourself a little credit here, will ya????i think tomorrow you should cook a special dinner........just for YOU. how bout a few of those delicous potatoes???? a turkey burger maybe? with hmmmmmmm do you like provolone cheese or cheddar? i kinda like both! and onion....red onion if you have them! lol......can you tell i didn't get any dinner tonite? got home and everyone had done their thing, and i was too lazy to cook just for me.so now i'm thinking about tomorrow's supper......and want to talk you into planning yours too!i just read a book......well i started it last night and finished it tonite....called The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. it's a story about the end of the world....well the world ended 12 years before and there aren't too many people left. but the story is of the father and his son......who was born just before whatever event (some kind of bomb and radiation because there's no animals and no fish and no birds...and the dad is sick....) who just walk on "the road" from state to state, town to town, describing what the world is like.i love to read. hardly get time, but lately i've been craving a good book.do you like to read? have a library near you?like how i'm planning your free time for ya?c'mon....give me ONE smile, ok? -
killingme4u said on Jun 17, 2008....
i'll smile for you secret anyday/anytime :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and thats just for you.actualy since its you i'll give ya 2 smiles :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you secret.now when ya comin for me?:)))))))))))))))) -
secretlife said on Jun 17, 2008....
can you imagine coming home with me and having to smile ALL NIGHT LONG!lol...i can hear you now........mercy......please mercy...no more smiling!!! i can't take anymore! -
killingme4u said on Jun 17, 2008....
lol lmao :))))))))))))) ok secret.........i'm beggin for mercy already.......
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