It's official. Today, June 16th, I'm the BIG 40.

I've been depressed for two weeks. I'm hoping that the passing of this day brings me back to normal.

It was simple, and a mix of depressing, relaxing and pleasant.

Friday work was stressful. I was the last one to leave the office, mainly knowing I would be off on Monday. But I got home to find a present from my mom that was supposed to be delivered by UPS was not delivered because the delivery guy couldn't read simple instructions. It irritated me and I came straight inside and for some reason, just broke down. I started crying. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate this birthday.

My roommate figured it out, and coaxed me into seeing the Sex & the City movie where by God, Sam was 50 & Fabuoulous. It cheered me up.

I spent Saturday very simply with my roommate and a close friend. I was getting better.

Sunday, I called my Dad to wish him Happy Father's Day and then went for a coffee date with a new friend. It was pleasant. I'm improving.

Today I took the day off from work, less for celebratory reasons than just because I didn't feel like facing the world or work.

A week ago, Lukas (my cat) injured his tail at the tail bone area. Initially a puncture wound, but after a week of doctoring and healing, I noticed his tail still wouldn't move. So, today I took him to the vet worried it might be broken or fractured... and at best, the puncture wound hitting some muscle, nerve or tendon affecting his ability to move it. If so, it should heal. We agreed not to X-ray him. It appeared to be improving and she could feel no discernible swelling or fractures, but if he didn't improve within two weeks, she'd x-ray then. It's a new vet and I like her so far. Relieved that it didn't appear to be broken, or at least not severe, and, a confession, not exorbitantly expensive. Still improving.

There was still some time left for a bit of spa grooming. I had a manicure and pedicure. Maybe I don't feel vibrant and youthful, but at least I can try to look 40 and Fabulous!

Tonight my roommate took me to dinner at The Olive Garden. I love that place. Tiramisu makes most worries melt away. :)

Tomorrow will be a normal busy, hectic day. I'll be a day behind.

But the birthday will be passed and I think I won't be as bothered by it.

I know why this one was particularly hard on me. The legs of my life are pretty much all unstable. My work leg is wobbly for a variety of reasons. I have no man in my life and I would like to be in love again. I have no kids and my biological clock is ticking. I haven't really accomplished the goals of my life I'd intended by this age. So, all in all, it's uncomfortable facing myself in a mirror knowing all this.

But as they say, this too will pass. Another year, another birthday, another year older, and hopefully the wiser.