So, inevitable, as any woman will know, I got my period. Not exciting or facinating at all really. The thing I hate is how much I eat when I'm menstruating! Oh my God! Its like I'm channelling a lumberjack and a starving animal all at once. Anything within my reach is devoured, usually drenched in some type of sauce.
Yesterday I both got my period AND pulled my back out, so I was laid up on my couch the whole night. I ordered a pizza from Domino's, complete with chicken bits, cheesy bread 6 pops and dipping sauce. I ate it all, minus two pops and the crust, which I gave to my dogs. I know how bad it is to be scarfing down so much food. I can see the effect it has on my body as each cycle passes.
This isn't the first time! Oh no, gentle readers, I am a habitual binge eater! I eat until there is nothing left, and then hunt around for more. This also coincided with my love of pot, and subsequent munchies. Couple that with menstrual symptoms and I have a serious overeating problem! I can't believe I'm not fat! I'm not thin, and it may be(don't fool your self, girl, it is) why I'm not thin, but it can't be making me healthy! My question is this; why the hell do some people eat like great whites, and others just cry and hide in their rooms til its over?! I wanna be a non-binging menstruater!!!!
What about those girls who get absolutely no side effects from their cycles? Are they missing out on the true experience of womanhood, or should we be cloning their genes to help create a new superhuman? No cramps, no bloating, no tenderness or food-urges.
You know what really irks me about my menstrual symptoms? I don't get a decreased sex drive, I'm graced with the opposite. I'm a raging sex maniac without the functioning anatomy! I'm sure if I bugged my boyfriend enough he'd sock it to me, but then I think I'd get all self-conscious and not like it anyways. Don't even get me started on the bitchiness!
If the U.S were smart, they'd arm themselves with pms-ing women instead of an army and guns. Insurgents beware. We have menstruating women and they're ready to fire. You will experience loud noises and you will be confused as to what you did to set them off. Most men I know will turn tail and run.
I often notice that in nature there are equivalents between the two sexes. Where men have greater physical strength, women have better logical skills. Men build houses, women build the "homes" that go into them. Man hunts, Woman cooks. These are obviously generalisations and streotypes, but with out them our species would never have propogated. Where's the friggin equivalency between our reproductive system and theirs?!!! Men never get pains, moodswings, nausea or the other various and seemingly ramdom picks of symptoms. Not to mention, men never have to bleed chronically from ANYTHING in their bodies. Child birth and rearing is a snap for them, doesn't take m uch outta them at all. Where is the male equivalent? Nature can't possibly hate women that much. Make it fair! Make their balls tender once a month, or maybe make them retain water. That'll make 'em all bloatty and bitchy too. Make their hormones all messed up so they cry too when they see those SPCA commercials with the mangled puppies and kittens.
I've resigned to my fate. There's no use bitching about it, all women go through it and mine probably isn't the worst out there. I remember my sister taking about 11 days off of school once a cycle because her period was so bad. So I get some cramps (albeit, they're the "please don't touch me and just leave me in the fetal position" type of craps), I'm a bit bitchy, I throw my back out and I eat like a ravenous wolverine. No, I get no sex, although I'm the closest to a rapist then, and for some weird reason, I can't sing, but otherwise it could be worse. I could be nauseated. I had that a few times, but thankfully never again. God, chew off my arm, I'll keep on pluggin. Make me nauseated, I'd give up my own mother to make it go away! I could have worse cramps or a longer period, with more blood. My other sister has to change her tampon every 40 minutes or so, plus wear a heavy duty pad, and the whole ordeal lasts about two weeks, including spotting.
I'm lucky
