We have an Applebee's not too far from our house, and usually the food is pretty decent. But the service sucks ass. It's really bad. The last time we went there though, it was actually good.
So I figured maybe it'd be worth it to try it again. I had a craving for these spicy shrimp they make, so that's where we went to dinner last night.
It wasn't very crowded, so we were seated right away. But the guy handed all three of us regular menus. Including my 8 year old daughter. So I asked him if we could have a kids menu.
He went off and comes back and he hands ME the kids menu and some crayons. And he says: Here you go sir. Enjoy.
What? Why did he give ME the fucking kids menu and the crayons? Did he think I was in the mood for Mac and Cheese and a word jumble?
My daughter was cracking up and she asked if the guy didn't even see her or something. I'm thinking he didn't.
But then we sat there FOREVER before anyone bothered to come to our table. We saw all the servers standing in a huddle by the bar just gabbing away. I kept looking over there, and they were all laughing and socializing.
Finally some waitress comes over and apologizes for the delay. They were having a team meeting. Firstly, it didn't look like a meeting. It looked like Happy Hour at the bar. And second, why have a team meeting during dinner time when the tables are all filled?
She took our drink order and attempted to walk away. But I stopped her and said we were ready to order food too. She looked surprised. She says: Oh, you already know what you want?
Yeah lady, we do. We'd been sitting there for 20 minutes. How long do you think it takes to make that decision? I already knew what I wanted before we walked in.
She takes our order and we wait some more. A lot more. We'd all finished our sodas by the time the food showed up. So I asked her to bring us more. She walks off and never comes back.
I was eating SPICY shrimp. And my daughter was complaining the whole entire time that she was thirsty. My wife was pissed off and refusing to keep eating until she had her Diet Pepsi.
And the waitress was spotted cleaning tables, chatting to her pals, walking around aimlessly doing nothing. But she never once came close to our table.
I lined up the empty drink glasses on the edge of the table thinking someone would catch a clue. Nope. Then she finally walks past us with someone else's food. I picked up my empty glass to show her. She looked RIGHT at it. I SAW her eyes on it.
Then she served the other table, and went around the long way to avoid our table again. Then she disappeared entirely.
Finally some poor pregnant waitress who looked like she was about to burst any second, comes walking past. I flagged her down and asked her if she could get us drinks. Our waitress appeared to have disappeared into a black hole and never came back.
She walked off, and we waited some more. This was a time period of about 25 minutes from the time we were served our food. We'd already eaten everything at this point. My wife finally caved in and ate her dinner, but she bitched the whole time about it.
(Which was very pleasant to listen to by the way)
It went a little something like:
I told you we shouldn't have come here. This place always sucks. Didn't I tell you this place sucked? We should have gone to Denny's. They have shrimp too. Sure, it's not spicy shrimp, but you could have eaten that. I told you that Applebee's is the worst place ever. Why do you always want to come here? I'm never coming here again.
Etc, etc, etc.
[shoots self in head]
FINALLY the waitress comes over with our drinks. She plunks them down on the table and I asked what happened. We had to eat our entire meal without anything to drink. Did she forget about us?
She apologized and said: Oh I thought someone would get you your drinks.
Someone?? Isn't that HER job? She was our server.
She didn't even offer to give us anything free or discounted or throw a dessert in for my daughter. Nothing. Nada.
So we took it out of her tip. As in, she didn't get one.
And now thanks to her, I can't ever eat there again because my wife is mad at me for wanting to eat there in the first place.
Thanks a lot, Debbie the horrible waitress from Applebee's! Now if I want spicy shrimp, I'll have to get it on the streets!
Damn you.
