I just get sick of people. I sometimes feel like I am the only person who is aware enough of the world around me to notice that people are running red lights, and swerving all over the road. It burns me inside to feel like people aren’t better than they are. What’s the matter with people? How the hell could you not notice that I’m standing here looking at the shelf of jams and jellies. By all means, just step right in front like you own the place. I am becoming invisible. It’s a side effect of being aware. I can find no other explanation for it. The more I become aware of you and how oblivious you are of others around you, the more I fade into the background.
I watched this guy the other day. Engrossed in his conversation on the phone, he was sadly unaware of how far up his nose he had his index finger. I’ll admit the sensation is pleasurable, but why stop there? Why not stick your hand down your pants and give yourself a good squeeze?
Even better was this woman who, while obviously in training for the Daytona 500, was so assertive with the pole position on Redmond Road that she felt there could be no wrong in darting in and out of lanes in order to get to the red light first. And then, after all that hard work, she came to the realization that she was in the wrong lane for where she wanted to go so she stops traffic in order to correct her course. I hate you people.
I used to live near this four-way stop. It gave me ulcers to drive through it, but there was no other way to get out of my neighborhood. Clearly people have forgotten that if you get to the intersection last you have to wait for everyone else to go first. Our “civilization” is demonstrated at this four-way every day. People at the height of evolution and logic. I was tempted on many occasions to just say fuck it and not stop at all. What could be wrong with that? I mean since everyone else gets to rewrite the rules so they can do whatever they want, why can’t I? Why do I have to be the person who follows the rules.
Driving has become an extension of people’s ego and personalities. What more could you do to assert your dominance over others than to wield a 2000 pound automobile like a mallet? Can you feel me here in my car? You go out of your way to make sure I can feel your presence. You play your music so I have no choice but to listen to what you want me to listen to. You flash your bling rims and wallet at me every chance you get. I am subservient to you I should get used to it....
An emotion smolders to life in me. A sublime desire to kill. What would it feel like to put you in your place I wonder. I revel in the idea of making you tremble and apologize for yourself. I can almost taste that power. I want to hurt you badly. You think you're so secure in your lexus or your hummer. But you have forgotten that we are no more than animals when push comes to shove.
But I find I cannot wage war against you, so I take this oath and mutter a warning -
I will key your car every time you park so close to my car that I can hardly get in, trust me on that one. Don’t expect me to be happy for you. Don’t show me your wealth. Don’t push me - I will bite.
schreist posted on Aug 13, 2006
| views: 199
Comments
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JadeLondon said on Aug 13, 2006....
Schreist: You sound just like my husband. He is so hyper-aware of everyone else's mistakes that it drives him crazy. We have an entire list of restaurants that we do not go to because someone has screwed up his food. Grocery stores that we do not frequent b/c a cashier has pissed him off. He hates traffic, so I try not to press him to take me anywhere. It annoys me that I can drive, but not standard. I would like to learn, but feel self-conscious trying to do so with my children in the car and the only teacher I have (my husband) being a major stress case. At least recognize that you are not the only person out there who feels this way. The scary thing is--I don't know if my husband is starting to rub off on me or if I was hardwired to evolve in this fashion, but I am slowly becoming the same way. -
schreist said on Aug 13, 2006....
I do believe that awareness is contageous... sorry about that :D I try not to be compulsive about things. In fact, I'm a pretty happy person. I tend to just make note of bad customer service or "sleeping" people as I call the walking accidents waiting to happen, and move on. -
ALIENated said on Aug 13, 2006....
You are so right. But take some vicarious pleasure in knowing that a greenish guy a little bigger than Shaq O'neal is out there waiting until these aholes stop. He then drags them out of their car and kicks the crap out of them. ... at least in my mind that is what happens. -
cornflakegirl said on Aug 13, 2006....
i agree completely, schreist. people get me sooo fired up sometimes, and it really annoys me when people cut me off just to get stuck in front of me at a red light. now WTF was the point of that??? and in the grocery stores it's the worst. why can't you just stand for a moment with your cart and wait for me to select my item? OR can't you at the very least stay outside of my bubble? it's not asking much, is it? sadly, there is no cure for the common asshole. -
JadeLondon said on Aug 14, 2006....
I second that, Cornflakegirl--"no cure for the common asshole"! I like that. =) -
quidnunc said on Aug 14, 2006....
annoying motorists! these are the people i love to hate. nowadays, though, i have somehow learned to control my temper... but years ago, i so easily get pissed by irresponsible drivers. in 2001, for example, a passenger bus beat the red light in an intersection and almost run me over, had i not stepped on the brakes on time... pissed, i swerved to my right and chased the bus along the major thoroughfare... i finally caught up with it, stopped right infront, blocked its way, got down from my suv, got a golf club, and whacked its window mirror (driver's side). i then told the driver that the next time i see him driving again, i'll kill him. then i drove off. -
silverwhisper said on Aug 16, 2006....
i'm beginning to be disturbed at how much synchronicity soulcast seems to churn up! :> ed -
secretlife said on Aug 20, 2006....
i read this a few weeks ago when I first got here.
I re-read after reading all your other stuff.
I often describe myself as invisible in the relationship i have with my husband. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make him 'see' me-
Your description of invisible as hyper-awareness has me thinking now. I've wanted to post on the invisible thing, so perhaps when my thoughts get collected on it.
I laughed over the guy with his finger up his nose and the woman training for the 500....i think i might have met these people. Which probably means that there are more than one of them!
I'm really enjoying your writing; you have a gift.
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schreist said on Aug 21, 2006....
Thanks for the kind comments folks. It is somehow satifying to know that others out there are sharing in the hell of driving along with me
:D
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