My husband has the worst gas in the world. It is so bad it pisses me off. During the day, I can escape but at night, when I am asleep and he starts his sulphur farts, there is no place for me to go. Now these aren't the kind that have any noise so there is no warning. We have a queen size bed and I am a queen size woman. Our bedroom is only about 15 x 15 foot room and there is little to any ventilation.
His gas wakes me up out of an Ambien induced sleep, which believe me is a difficult thing to do. I will be asleep and my nose will get assaulted with the worst smell. I try to push the blankets down to drown them out but it does no good. Those little suckers seep out into the air and the little bit of oxygen I have left they consume. It isn't possible to wave the blankets either, that just makes it angry and it will get revenge.
One night he had gone to bed before me and when I came to bed, I thought I had walked into hell. The sulphur smell hit me and about slapped me down. I figured that maybe it might dissapate, but I should know better. This stuff is so thick it hovers waiting to destroy any brain cells that I might have left and strip mucous membranes right out of my nose.
One night I crawled into bed and settled down the best that I could. I was soon asleep but not before my senses woke me up and I started gagging. No longer could I ignore this unwelcomed visitor. I was so angry I kicked him, but he didn't wake up. I got up and went out on the couch, I was furious. I fell back to sleep and awoke about 6 am and thought it might be clear.
I opened the door and put my nose in and nope, it was there and I swear it took form and was laughing at me. I had been beaten, but I was still angry. I went back out on the couch and fell back to sleep.
I was so angry all day, I didn't talk to him except to tell him that he kept me awake almost all night with his butt perfume. When he came home that night I was still mad. I glared at him and said, "I'm going to bed! Don't you dare come in the bedroom with gas on your mind."
Since then I have vowed that I would NEVER go through another night like that. I have a can of OUST by my bed and a scented candle. If he starts that crap, I grab the can of OUST and spray him. It works wonders, also if I go to bed and there is a hint of magic in the air, I light the scented candle and say a prayer. And sometimes just for good measure, I kick him anyway, then I close my eyes, smile and drift off to a land with no smelly men.
