"Aging is not for sissies". I quote Betty Davis here and evidently the woman knew what she was talking about! When I was younger, and impossibly naive, I swore I would age gracefully. Whatever THAT means.
Now I look in the mirror cautiously, very cautiously. I never know what exciting new thing I will discover there. Why just this morning I found that a formally adorable dimple turned into a wrinkle overnight. Really. What's that about and why wasn't I warned. Well, Betty tried, but I didn't know what she was talking about and I wouldn't have believed it meant ME.
Now I know that emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, I am in the best shape of my life. And I am grateful. Really. But just why can't that be reflected in the mirror. You know. You look in the mirror and say, "Why, that new found wisdom and strength is showing nicely on my face today." NOT. It just doesn't work that way. Instead I hunt for new beauty products, adjust my attitude, and step away from the mirror, hoping for better light somewhere else. A high maintenance woman with a newfound respect for a woman named Betty.
woman posted on Jun 03, 2008
| views: 469
Comments
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Twylarants said on Jun 03, 2008....
You've said it all. I have nothing to add. I'm gonna go look for some better light. -
quietone said on Jun 03, 2008....
OMG what ever you do DO NOT get a mirror that you have to look down in to!! There lurks a womanthing that you knew nothing about. I saw her once and then thought she was caught in the mirror so I threw the mirror away~ I found a better light. -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Twyarants~if you find that perfect light PLEASE let me know. Perhaps I will move there. -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Quietone~OMG! I've seen her too. I thought it was my overactive imagination. Nearly stopped my heart. My sincere hope is she never returns to frighten us again!!! -
Lucytorial said on Jun 03, 2008....
You know what Woman, I like all of the wrinkles my face is developing, you know why I like them, it shows where I've been in my life, how much I've laughed and smiled, frowned even (very little), it shows how happy and comfortable I am with my face, my body! not that I won't feel a little odd when on the inside I feel younger than the outside looks but heck! take a look at susan sarendon, she is a gorgeous women who hasn't touched her face. -
Me-Myself&I said on Jun 03, 2008....
HUH! i could not have said it better. wow.... misery loves company *smile* it's tough isn't it. I have two dimples that has turned into long wrinkles. boo hoo ;~{I have a framed quote/poem that hangs by me. It is by Martin Buxbaum, it says....Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts!*smile* cool. Take care ~see ya -
secretlife said on Jun 03, 2008....
from one high maintenance woman to another:graceful is over-rated- -
Twylarants said on Jun 03, 2008....
I lost my damn comment!
Luce, your face is 30-something...your wrinkles still have time to change their minds and be pillowcase marks that disappear after a few hours. They don't when you're 50-something, trust me.
And Susan Sarandon saying she hasn't had work done on her face is not the same as Susan Sarandon not having work done on her face. Judi Dench and Helen Mirren are closer to the reality of 60ish woman than she and Goldie and Jane Fonda are.
I just tried to take a picture of my eye like Quiet did. Bad idea! I didn't get close enough to get only my eye. I got a full 1/4 of my face...wrinkles, redness, blotches....scared the bejeezus out of myself!
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skald said on Jun 03, 2008....
Betty held her head always up hight and that is what we should do. What is one wrinkle. -
Hexie said on Jun 03, 2008....
I'm still kind of looking ahead at the growing old gracefully. I'm still at the point where I get I.D.'d for cigarettes, but I have a suspicion that it'll all just heap on when I least expect it. As for the gypsy woman in the mirror, she's already shown me what awaits my unsuspecting eye will be confronted with in the future, after a rather over indulgent night....
These days I also don't leave the house without at least SPF15 on my face... Africa heat isn't fun on a pale little face like mine
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Twylarants said on Jun 03, 2008....
I'm moving to Iceland with Skald. I really believe the cold preserves you. C'mon Hexie and Lucy, it's not too late for you guys. -
somethingunUSual said on Jun 03, 2008....
No matter how bad you look there will always be some guy who thinks you're hot. It's just a narrowing field.... -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
secretlife~I love your humor. AND I love knowing I have another high maintenance friend here. -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Me, Myself~Yes we do like to share with people in the same boat, don't we? Nice quote but does it help when you look at your former dimples?? Thanks for sharing. -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Lucy~Great attitude and I hope you can keep it. I felt the same way until I hit about 55. It really is a surprise when the loss of your youth happens. Shouldn't be, but somehow it is. Thanks for stopping in Lucy. -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Skald~Nice to have you stop by. Yep, Betty held her head up high, as we all should, but it was Betty who said aging wasn't for sissies so I suspect she wasn't too thrilled with the process either. Twylarants seems to think we would age better in your Iceland? Any truth to that? How's the light there??? -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Hexie~YEP, the age thing sneaks up on you and just when you are feeling like you have it together, it pounces. If you've seen the gypsy woman, you've seen the future.Frightening isn't it? ( Seriously you are doing a wonderful thing for your skin if you are wearing sunscreen. It makes such a difference. ) Enjoy getting carded while you can! -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Something~No doubt some truth there but this field is pretty darn narrow! -
FlowersbyFarha said on Jun 03, 2008....
"Sometimes you gotta laugh..." actually the opening line in a book about the LA riots by (name escapes me-- actor who played beach cop in early Bay Watch series)....
It applies here, too. Laugh wrinkles look better than frown wrinkles so you may a well laugh. Of course, for fewest wrinkles, just don't frown OR laugh--but that's no fun.
It comes to us all.
Use more flattering lights over the mirror, stay out from under florescents/mercury lights. Shift to lighter colors in your makeup and clothing. If you color your hair, go lighter not darker (Harsh dark colors call to the shadows in the wrinkles.)
Minimize/manage your stress-- take time to relax. Drink plenty of water and avoid foods that disagree with you-- in other words--all that basic taking care of yourself stuff.
Aging gracefully means embracing the time of life you are in--remaining young at heart--not young and stupid.
Best Wishes and welcome to the club!
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soaringraven said on Jun 03, 2008....
When I look in the mirror I think, "My you're looking dapper today!" then I realise that I'm looking at a photo portrait I had done some some years ago. I kinda like that particlar mirror.
soaring
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crybabylu said on Jun 03, 2008....
i don't like this aging process one little bit. -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
Soaring~That sounds like the perfect mirror. Now, truthfully, does the aging process affect a dapper guy like yourself? -
woman said on Jun 03, 2008....
crybaby~Yes indeed. Betty had it right. It's not for sissies. -
FlowersbyFarha said on Jun 03, 2008....
Soaring-- I love it!
Maybe I should dig out my high school photo... I haven't changed that much...people still recognize me... just developed a little "patina".
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kruuyai said on Jun 04, 2008....
Oh, woman, did I ever need to see this post. Thanks for writing it, and thanks to everyone who commented. I always thought I would age gracefully, too, and I was doing a dang good job of it until I moved here and had everyone start rubbing my nose in it with glee. It's gotten so that I feel like a young woman hopelessly trapped in an old body. I guess it'll always feel that way. I think, in some ways, your mind stops aging while your body keeps a-going, and the only things that remind you are your own aches and pains and the occasional glance in the mirror. But here's the thing.. when I look in the mirror (standing straight up) I actually like what I see, and I don't see a woman approaching 50... not by a long shot. But I suddenly find myself being treated like somebody who's ready for the waste heap. What do we do when we find ourselves in the midst of people for whom age is a dirty word? This is the question I've been asking myself lately. One of the answers is "just move on" because not everyone in the world thinks this way. Or is it truly an inside job? Do people everywhere treat you like a pariah once you reach a certain age? And what do you do to maintain your sanity in the face of it all? I think it's easier for those who have mates and families... but for the single aging woman with no family ties and only dead cats who doesn't get the validation and reassurance that she has value as a human being that normally come from close human relationships... what's out there?
Anyway, sorry to wax so morose... .that's where I'm at right now, and I have two days left before my appointment with a psychiatrist who will hopefully prescribe me some meds so I can start feeling like a human being again and let my inner beauty start to shine whilst my outer beauty is fading.
I blogged about the face-up/face-down effect a while back, and at the end of the comments, I posted pics, (this is the only group of people I would dare to do that with) but I don't think anyone saw them, because the post was pretty much commented out. But if you dare... you can go here to see them. And maybe you'll even be up to the challenge I issued... lol. (of course, the reality is somewhere between the two pics... but when I need to feel good about the way I look, I just go and lie down on the bed and hold a mirror over my face. Works wonders. Sure would be nice to get to more of a place of acceptance without having to do that, though.
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FlowersbyFarha said on Jun 04, 2008....
The isolated "young & stupid" might diss you because (a) they were not taught to respect their elders (or themselves or anyone else); (b) they are "young & stupid" and can't imagine that someday there go they.
It's naive to think looks don't matter because they do on first impressions, but in reality, the value of outer appearance is highly affected by inner beauty--or it's lack.
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Me-Myself&I said on Jun 04, 2008....
wrinkles are better than pimples! lol.... -
Twylarants said on Jun 04, 2008....
The fact remains that getting old sucks!
Hi, Kru...your "up" face looks pretty wrinkle free to me. I'd be happy to accept it as a donation to my makeover post if you're so inclined...lol.
Woman said it correctly.. age does sneak up on you. You're to busy to notice it when you're younger but what you don't realize is, when you aren't looking, some old hag takes up residence in your mirrors!
But I think we get used to our own mirrors after a while. I know I did.
My husband and I went for a ride in his new car last night so he could show off all the bells and whistles. I know how I looked in the passenger side vanity mirror in his old car. I was not prepared for the face I saw in the new vanity mirror.
Now I have to convince this new mirror to play along with me.
I'll be 30 in my mind until the day I die. I think aging depresses some of us more than others. It's taking a toll on me, that's for sure.
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woman said on Jun 04, 2008....
Kru~Yikes! I looked at your old post and yes. There she was, the scary womanthing. She's been getting around a lot. You look pretty darn good Kru and if I am reading this right you haven't even hit 50 yet. 60 is breathing down my neck with some hot and stinky breath. Don't let this get to you too much. Pace yourself because it's a long rough ride! Thanks for stopping by. -
woman said on Jun 04, 2008....
Flowers~I never feel disrespected by young people and I work with them each day. They think I am the "cool" older woman. They keep me young. It's more a battle inside myself. -
woman said on Jun 04, 2008....
Me, Myself~ My personal favorite is when a stray pimple shows up right next to a wrinkle. I can't see the justice in that! -
woman said on Jun 04, 2008....
Me, Myself~ My personal favorite is when a stray pimple shows up right next to a wrinkle. I can't see the justice in that! -
woman said on Jun 04, 2008....
Twy~The car ride sounds like fun. Put on shades and an exotic scarf and DON'T look into the mirror. You will look fabulous. You know, I'm not sure if I think of myself as 30, more like 50 when I really allowed myself to be myself. The 60 thing is rough though. And one more time. It is NOT for sissies! Thanks for all you comments. -
CreativeWoman said on Jun 04, 2008....
I'm still fortunate enough that people think I look much younger than I am. I hope that trend continues.
CW
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woman said on Jun 04, 2008....
CW~Enjoy, enjoy. I was like that for a long time. Now it's more often said that "You look so pretty, for a woman your age!" Never know whether to be insulted or pleased. Sigh... -
FlowersbyFarha said on Jun 04, 2008....
So there you go, Woman-- it's your attitude you need to adjust.
I hate that phrase ("for your age")-- it does feel insulting.
I also hate when people make a fuss about pretending I'm younger than I am.
Or when men do the "young lady" thinking it's a compliment. I've lived life and earned the battle scars to prove it.
There are things we can chose to do (or eat) or not that affect how we age, but to a large extent we can't control or override our DNA. I can't help that my dad grayed early and my mom grayed late and I'm somewhere in between. Don't pull out the black balloons when I'm 30, and don't tell me how young I look (for my age) when I'm 50. Just let me have the Sr Meal because the portions suit me better not because I'm wrinkled and gray. (But please do let me sit instead of stand on the bus because my legs are tired and my feet hurt, and indeed I am older than you even if I don't look it.)
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kruuyai said on Jun 05, 2008....
Twyla: Hi, Kiddo! I'd be happy to donate my face up to your makeover post. Can you carry it over yourself, or should I bring it on over? Yeah, looking down.... never a good thing to do. My vertical look isn't all that far off from my looking up, just a tad more saggy, but I'm not looking forward to the day that other one becomes a reality. Well, I guess I can't keep that old hag from taking up residence in my mirror, but I can invite the young kruu to come over and play as often as I like... and to that end, I've taken to spending hours and hours on my back with a hand held mirror over my head. It's better than chocolate! :)
woman: It is a long ride, isn't it? If I live to be in my 80's, I've still got more than 30 years left to go. It ain't a pretty thought, I'm tellin' ya.'
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Hiddenlove said on Jun 23, 2008....
Well written. It's true it's true. As 40 fast approaches, my own mortality keeps creeping up on me. -
woman said on Jul 04, 2008....
Hiddenlove~It creeps up on us all but do enjoy these years. You are still very young. -
somethingunUSual said on Jul 05, 2008....
We spend most of the years past 25 lamenting on how old we are. For some of us that's 60 years of griping about how old we're getting. If we could just age backwards, youth could really be appreciated.Rule of thumb: If you're young enough to bitch about it, you're not too old yet. -
woman said on Jul 07, 2008....
It's a very complicated process, isn't it? Having a sense of humor makes it tolerable. Society is pretty rough on aging women but we just have to rise above it and relish our lives.
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