• soaringraven said on May 31, 2008....

  Oh, that I could give you some comfort.  These moments are difficult indeed, especially when they come in waves.  Try to look to tomorrow, I know that is cliche but it is what I do when down.  Our circumstances are quite different to be true, and some might wonder what in the world I might have to ever be down about.  It happens though and often for reasons we can't quite pinpoint.

  Stay with your writing, pour your heart into it.  The rewards will follow I'm sure.

  soaring

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on May 31, 2008....

  
  
  (((hugs)))
  
  
  
  

• MissMimi said on Jun 01, 2008....

  I understand, CDub.  Feeling alone in a crowd...  <sigh>  I understand that too.

  You sure did put up a damn good fight.  I would have enjoyed sitting on the back step playing with the kitties too.  :)

  Hang in there.

• quietone said on Jun 01, 2008....

  I also can relate to how you feel.. a bit different because of the farm and the "husband" (I use that term lightly), which I have neither of.. but I do have my cats.. though they are off in their little worlds too.  We all suffer from this lonliness at one time or another I think.  It is the worse when you are "alone with somebody".  But, even today I think I would settle for just one day of that.  {{hugs}}  Keep that book going CW!!

• wishyouwerehere said on Jun 01, 2008....

  CW - Sounds as though you made the most of your solitude, though loneliness can be so painful sometimes.  I hope you are feeling better, and I can't wait to see your pics - Wish

• wombat said on Jun 01, 2008....

  I have had lots of days just as you described!  I used to go sit at the lake most of the day, alone, and wonder why I was so alone.  Hope things get better for you soon.

• evil_twin said on Jun 01, 2008....

  I'm sorry you felt so lonely :-( But I'm glad you went to the lake and played with your kittens, and tried to get yourself out of the mood. It's been awhile now since I've felt lonely like that, but I do understand. Because I did used to feel that way a lot. Even if you do have someone to come home to, he might as well not be there at all.
  
  I hope you feel better today.
  
  -Kyle
  

• woman said on Jun 01, 2008....

  CW~As you know, we share that loneliness and the times that it becomes almost unbearable. As Soaring said, it comes in waves and when it does we feel like we are drowning. Perhaps we could. I doubt that it is a coincidence that your writing is flourishing during this time. A friend of mine tells me that having these intense feelings and the ability to express yourself in an artistic way (writing, painting, music, etc.) go hand and hand. That the pain is the price you pay for that gift. I have come to agree with him. So use this creative period for your writing, for continuing to move forward, and believe that there will be calmer days ahead. And believe that you make a difference to so many others, including myself. (How's the blood sugar?)

• diabolicdame said on Jun 01, 2008....

  Sometimes the most lonely you can feel is when you are in a crowd.. ((hug))

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 01, 2008....

  Soaring,
  Thank you.  I will try.
  
  Paper,
  Thanks.
  
  Mimi,
  I've always felt this way.  Some days are much harder than others.
  
  Playing with the kitties was fun, but I'm paying for it today.  In my haste to jump out of the car and play with them I left the key in the wrong position and now have a dead battery.  Anyone that could help is in the hay field at the in-laws.  I've left a message with my mother-in-law that probably won't get passed on.
  
  I'm supposed to be headed to a ballgame right now.
  
  I could cry.  I really could.
  
  quietone,
  Thanks.  I'll keep working on the book.
  
  Wish,
  Thank you.  I will post some of the pics soon.
  
  wombat,
  Thank you.
  
  Kyle,
  Thanks.  I don't really feel any better, but I hope it passes soon.
  
  woman,
  I like to think that writing relieves the pain a little.  I truly hope that something I love so much is the not the price for my loneliness.  I think I would gladly give it up if it is.
  
  My blood sugar has been ok.  I had a fasting blood sugar of 105 this morning. That's within the range my endocrinologist wants me to be in.  My anxiety doesn't seem to be flaring with the sadness this time.
  
  diabolic,
  Thanks.  That statement is very true for me.
  
  CW

• Sunshine_Mariah said on Jun 01, 2008....

  I'm feeling lonely lately too! *hugs* It'll get better... it has to, right?

• woman said on Jun 01, 2008....

  CW~Oh my. I didn't mean to make you feel worse and to be honest I reacted the same way when my friend (who suffers too) said that to me. Time has passed and I have felt more and more truth to it but NEVER do I think I would have chosen it or would I have it in your life. I'm sorry and I do hope that the sun shines again for you soon. Take care of yourself; your blood sugar sounds wonderful, I wondered with your spirits down. It makes my levels soar.

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 01, 2008....

  Sunshine,
  Yes, it has to get better.  It will for both of us.
  
  woman,
  Usually, my blood sugar goes up when my spirits are down too...majorly.  I don't know what is different about this time, but it is down some.  I had a couple of days earlier in the week that were horrible.  I'm trying to regroup.
  
  I understand what you mean about the writing.  I just wish it weren't true.  You know what I mean?  I didn't take offense.
  
  CW
  

• RollingC said on Jun 01, 2008....

  {{{  HUGS }}}  to you CW.  I know the feeling well but you got to hang in there as what goes up must come down and vice-versa.
   
  Ps... hows the internet business going?
   
  I'll pm you with an idea.
   
  Rc

• cuppajava said on Jun 01, 2008....

  In the last 3 years,there has not been at least one point in a day when I havent felt alone.Even when i am in a crowd,there still seems to be something in my life that is missing.I often wonder if i will ever find it.But at the same time - I know what it is - companionship - not a relationship but companionship.Someone to be there for you on your bad days,and there to enjoy the good days with you.
  But life goes on - everyday is different.everyday brings a new challenge - something to overcome,be it at home or at work.Perserverance is the key.Things WILL get better.Not because they have to,but because you WANT them to.

• dailyachesandpains said on Jun 02, 2008....

  Awe...Cw!  I know that feeling.  People often don't even bother asking me if I want to do something because I hardly leave my house, but it is nice to feel thought of once in a while and included (even if I choose not to go).  {{{{HUGS}}}}}
  
  Great job with the book idea!  You are one smart cookie!  I'm so proud of you for taking the bull by the horns and turning diabetes into a way for you to help others and sticking with it.
  
  {{{{HUGS}}}}
  Daily
  

• soaringraven said on Jun 02, 2008....

  I keep coming back to this post.  You are constantly on my mind for some reason I don't quite understand.  I know I have already commented here, but I'm afraid I came across as a pompous ass.  I certainly have no idea the pain you are suffering in your personal life. 
   
  I feel quite the fool having spouted cliches when what you need is loving friendship and support.  I can offer you this.  You are daily in my prayers.
   
  soaring

• woman said on Jun 02, 2008....

  Yes, of course I understand and I feel the same way. Exactly. I have been hoping that this is a better day for you and that it is only the first of many. Are you able to write any? Glad your BS is not reacting to the stress. That's a miracle in itself. Do something nice for yourself. OK?

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 02, 2008....

  Rc,
  Thank you.  I got your pm when I signed on a few minutes ago.  I sent one back with a few questions.
  
  cuppajava,
  I think you are right about the companionship aspect.  I don't really have anyone to lean on.  I am there for others, but I don't think they are places in their lives where they can be the same for me.  Does that make sense?
  
  Daily,
  Thank you.  I have to keep trying.  It keeps me sane.
  
  soaring,
  Thank you for your prayers.  I never took any offense to your comment, not for an instant.  I'm quite thrilled that you aren't in the same boat as me.  It is a quiet ache that occasionally  throbs.
  
  woman,
  I think my  blood sugar has been down because my husband hasn't been in the house much to aggravate me.  I hate to say it, but it seems to be making a huge difference.
  
  I've been trying to write some today, but it's not coming very easily.
  
  CW
  

• without said on Jun 02, 2008....

  i can see why you might be lonely

• CreativeWoman said on Jun 02, 2008....

  without,
  I kind of go in cycles where it gets to me more often than other times.  Thank you.
  
  CW
  

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