I don't get it. How can you call someone "Sir"?

Isn't that a bit too ass kissy? Have you no self respect?

Someone used to call me Sir. It was a Marine. Vietnam vet. Purple heart. Bullets still in him, too close to the spine to operate. He applied for a job and I happened to be the one interviewing, and I got him hired. I didn't mind him calling me Sir because it made him happy, and because he didn't do it too often. He used to say that a day without me was a day without sunshine. He used to tell people he was my dog. One tough fuckin dog, that's for sure.

He used to tell our boss to become a car dummy. He used to tell the boss's son that he'd rip off his head and spit down his throat. He told one particularly rough client to bend his bitchy lying secretary over the desk and fuck her up the ass. I kid you not. Ain't Marines great? They get so polite, but then when they identify an enemy they rip their head off.

Woof woof motherfucker.

I was reading a post by a sexually submissive girl, which is exactly what I'd be if I was a girl, and she was calling her boyfriend Sir. It kind of makes me want to puke. They're not even in bed. She's typing at her computer keyboard. She still calls him Sir. It makes me want to puke again.

I think that kind of stuff belongs in the bedroom. Run your fantasy between the sheets. Call him Sir or Master or God or whatever you like. Anything to help that climax along, yours and his both. But once you guys come, hey, give it a rest, join the real world. Once out of bed, stop calling him Sir and Master, and start calling him Hey Stupid! That's what I'd do.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not criticizing her. God bless her. It's just so foreign to me, we're so different, I couldn't elevate someone so high above me in real life. In bed, yeah, sure, it helps the juices flow. But once you squirt, you're done, kid, now go watch tv and tell him to move his little tush to the fridge to bring you something to eat.

Like so: "Oh God, oh Master, oh Honey, let me do this for you, oh I love you so, beat me beat me, ohhhhhhhhhhhh ........ (come)

Hey Stupid, can you go downstairs and get me a bottle of cold Poland Spring?"