This is my one year anniversary on SoulCast! I honestly never thought I would spend a whole year here. I expected I would write a few things for a month or two and then fade away. Basically, I wasn't a very good writer and honestly didn't enjoy it, but I often need to write things for the theatre and I thought that practice would help.
And it did! Not that I am a great writer now, but I think I am a little better than I was, and writing has become a lot easier for me. Writing used to be such a laborious process for me; I fretted over every word and in the end it didn't sound like me at all. My first real blog took me three hours to write! I am a lot faster now and less worried about sounding stupid. So in that sense, mission accomplished.
What I didn't expect, and I know you've heard this before, was to find people I really cared about here. I have never done chat rooms before and never really interacted with faceless strangers before. It seemed impossible to me that I would care about them, let alone that they would start to feel like family.
I remember the thrill of getting my first comment (thanks uniquely-ironic!) and I think I was high all day after getting my first subscriber (thanks secretlife). I remember how deeply embarrassed I was when I accidently offended Kyle, and how desperate I was to fix things.... I'm sure he remembers, you don't need to. I remember how sweet QueenParanoia scared the crap out of me and all I'd read was her profile LOL.... just read it, you'll see. I remember how terrified I was for Holly-go-lightly when she was trapped in the fire. I remember how addicted I was (and still am!) to the life stories of everybody here.
And then, last fall, things changed for me in a big way. My best friend committed suicide and left me more lost and confused than I have ever been. I was in such a black place, and I didn't know how I would ever get out. The only thing I could think to do was write about it.... and that, in itself, shows how much this place has changed me. I cannot describe how much you helped me with the outpouring of love and concern that came back to me in your comments. I felt like you had saved my life.
So thank you, Soulcast, for all the laughter and the tears you have given me. I hope to be around for many years to come. I know I don't comment or post very often, but I'm here every day, reading. It's been a great year!
