cuppajava's tags:
Is life meant to be difficult...............? this is a question that was asked of me by a very close female friend of mine earlier non this week.She is someone who was there for me whenever I needed someone,in an emotional kind of way.Anyway - the question was aasked not,because she had a problem with something - but rather she asked me that question about my own life.
She asked me if I would get up in the morning with a positive outlook and tell myself that everything was ok.Or do i get out of bed with a positive outlook and MAKE SURE that evrything IS ok.
I wondered at the time if there was a difference.At that point in time i said 'there's no difference'
But having thought about it for a couple of days,I realise that there is a difference.You can get out of bed and look in the miror and tell yourself that today will be better than yesterday,and then go through the day not making an effort to make it any better,.Or you can get up in the morning and do the same thing and go through the day and MAKE SURE that you do whatever you can to make today better than yesterday.That 5 minute conversation made me realise now more than ever that your life is in your own hands and not those of others.Sure,in a work situation you have to do as you are told - but other than that?? You can do what YOU want to do,and not what you thing is wrong without even trying it.
I have noticed over the last week or so that there are so mainy SoulCasters out there who have got problems,major problems - worse than mine.It may not always be financial,but emotional or family related.
Is it not possible in some small minute way to get up in the morning and say to yourself,'i'm gonna make a difference in someone's life today,and if I cant do that,then I'll make a difference in my own life'
Those of you with children - I dont have any because I cant have - take 5 minutes out of your day to 'bond' with your child - successful or not.It will be spending 5 minutes more with them than you did yesterday.
Family is the most important structure to have in a time of emotional or physical distress.They can be there for you when you  need someone to lean and rely on.
I dont have a family - well I do,but they are living 15000 miles away in another country.So I have had to go through this whole hospital drama over the last year on my own.I had to go through the grieving process of  losing my wife on my own - not because I had to,but because I had no other choice.
So I decided that I was going to get up out of bed today and make a difference in someone's life today - and if I cant then I would make a difference in my own life.
For those of you who read this.Has it made you think....................?.   


del.icio.us Digg reddit StumbleUpon

Comments

  • secretlife said on May 30, 2008....
    I think that's a wonderful outlook.  just a small change could make all the difference in how you view yourself and the world.
     
     
  • pusscat said on May 30, 2008....
    You have made a difference - a HUGE difference my friend, probably more than you will ever know. . .
     
    I asked my dad once, as a young adult living alone with many problems that I won't bore anyone with now, why was life so difficult and complicated?  He told me that although the carousel is a nice, steady safe ride to be on, the rollercoaster is what we thrive better on.  I wasn't sure I got it at the time but, as time went on I bagan to understand.  If everything in my life was easy, I would never learn.  If I didn't learn, I'd never grow.  Sometimes I want to have a little rest from the rollercoaster but i couldn't live my life constantly on the carousel.
     
    Thank you for reminding me of those wise words from my dad.  i miss him terrible but I love remembering him.
     
  • Fallyn said on May 30, 2008....
    i can see that difference.....not just "everything is ok cause it is" but doing something to make it ok.

    there are dialectics...... making two opposites happen at the same time.

    realizing that you are okay...you aren't a bad person.......but there MUST be changes made.
    both things must happen....you MUST realize you are ok the way you are, but changes MUST happen at the same time.

    both statements are true of everyone. the size of the changes is the only difference.
  • Lucytorial said on May 30, 2008....
    Hello Cuppa, great post....

    You know in the darkest of times I had with my husbands cancer, I would stop myself from crying out of frustration, fear, heartache, fear (again), stress and loneliness then get up the next morning and make it okay! BUT! I relied heavily on friends, now that my life is good, I try to be there too for friends, family, just an ear sometimes, maybe a shoulder, maybe a big boot to kick the mud off their minds, or even a friendly little gesture to say hello, that makes my problems always look small and easier to deal with.

    Love in all its forms can help in so many ways, even to strangers! its returned ten fold to ourselves... ohh this has definitely made me think.
  • cotterall&elaineadams said on May 31, 2008....
    Life is easy.  My great great uncle was sent to South Africa by the Belgian government against his will to fight British colonialists for Boer land and they kicked black Africans off their land, settled in what could be a cross between farm land, desert and jungle and did all their farming by hand and with menial labor for help...even building their own cabins, barns and properties...who does this today?  Drop a few seeds in a hole, fill up with soil and water...presto, garden genius with a green thumb...

    My grandfather had to go into the military...he was illiterate and came from a dirt-poor peasant family.  In the forties in France, they hunted duck and collected wild greens and ate rabbit because of harsh rations...they had to build a country again from scratch after fighting the Nazis who burned fields of food, houses and he was a member of the French Foreign Legion and fought the Algerians (a questionable war but he had to fight it) for eight years...he was in the army and French Resistance...

    There is no slavery, segregation, colonialism in the U.S. and there is more whining than ever...people complain about working and there are minimum wages, unions, labour protection, a successful economy in Canada, tons of jobs, education, affirmative action for women and minorities, strong labour standards, etc....literacy is much higher and most people are middle class.  It is an 'injustice' to have a working-class single parent and these people are at times jealous of what they perceive as better (in their own minds, most of us don't care and don't judge)..there is a lot of this whiner-victim mode like we live in some fascist Communist society...

    life has never been easier...people have never complained more...they have more time to do it and in my perspective as someone from a European-South African background, it is very North American and in particular, Canadian, to whine and moan and call oneself a victim...Europeans just get on with it..
  • crybabylu said on May 31, 2008....
    That is a great philosophy to have.
  • cuppajava said on Jun 01, 2008....
    Secret and Cry -thank you.Its a pity that not everyone has the capacity to think like it
     
    Pusscat - you know exactly what this post is all about.Take Care
     
    Fallyn - If EVERYONE in the world got up out of bed and said to themselves that they were going to do something to make a positive change in their life,or someone else's - can you imagine what kind of a world we would live in?
    Families would feel like a family,and not like a commune of people,who are living together with no interest iin each others lives - but ,erely for a plate of food and a roof over their head - while everyone else does their dirty work
     
    Lucy - very true,so often we bury ourselves in someone else's woes and sorrow, to try and figure out what to do with our own lives.Most of the time the advice that you give others is the advise that you should be taking yourself !!!
     
    Cotterall - a nice story ,but definitely true
  • polarheart said on Jun 01, 2008....
    Cuppa, is there a reason why you deleted my comment to this blog.  My comment was first and now it's gone.
     
    Polar
  • crybabylu said on Jun 01, 2008....
    good post, now can I have a cup of coffee please?.......LOL
  • cotterall&elaineadams said on Jun 01, 2008....
    not a story at all...actually it seems negative but i mean that life is what you make it..i am kind of a hardcore realist...can't help it..but I have been trying to be more light-hearted in conversation, still i am not the look at the beautiful sun in the sky type at six in the morning....no i prefer to be left alone and drink coffee or i may spit on someone....no longer interested in customer service..i'd rather clean rooms and put spa pieces together in a factory unless it is maybe somewhere fun...
    anyway, i am excited because the job opportunities my wife and i were looking for have finally come up and we were dreading staying at the local college cleaning and doing errands for extra money...this summer is dedicated to getting back on track..turns out the real estate agent can sell the condo more easily if we move out first and if it doesn't go soon, we can always take it off and move back but elaine and I are rearing to get out of here...the more distance between my bitch of an ex-wife and us, the better...and i love my parents, i do, but i also like my independence..it is difficult for us to have time to ourselves if we have to eat with them constantly and are reminded of their problems personally.

    .i mean, i am always stuck with a severe diabetic with suicidal tendencies at work because i am expected to watch over her and she shouldn't be working, her husband makes her do it (man i do not make this shit up because i don't have to, it just happens, life is weird and so is this town)....i am tired of babysitting and think she should be at home less than three weeks out of ICU..manager is questionable...the jobs have come up again and we could be on our way, I hope by the end of the month since our search for second jobs for whatever reason hasn't worked out and there are some places, e.g. the photography studio, that we could work at, etc...
  • cuppajava said on Jun 01, 2008....
    Hi Polar'.
    my apologies,I didnt delete your comment at all.The first comment that I got was that from secret'.Please repost you comment by all means.
  • cuppajava said on Jun 01, 2008....
    cotterall - i hope everything comes right for you
  • pusscat said on Jun 02, 2008....
    polar and cuppa this post actually went on SC more than once for some strange reason? and your comment polar was on the other one cos I read it.  I'm just going see if the other post is still there :-)
  • pusscat said on Jun 02, 2008....
  • Here it is - I pasted it from the other post
  • Flag polarheart said 2 days ago....
    Cuppa, I am so sorry to read of you distress.  One thing SC has taught me is that people all over the world struggle.  I read on FireFlower's blog that you are from SA.  So am I.  We are however living in the UK now for the past 4.5 years.  Its been tough to say the least, but we are very thankful for small mercies.
     
    I am sad to read that you lost your wife.  May I ask what happened?
     
    Polar
  • polarheart said on Jun 02, 2008....
    Aha, thanks Pusscat.  Cuppa, it seems your post was duplicated. . .it happens sometimes.  Click on "My Blog" and you will see it appears twice :-)
  • cuppajava said on Jun 02, 2008....
    Pusscat - thanks for yur help.i also so that it was posted twice - i dont know why
     
    Polar - I will discuss your questions with you a little later..........
  • NotWhoYouThink said on Jun 04, 2008....
    Cuppa-This is a great outlook to have, that much is true.  I too am in the midst of seemingly overwhelming circumstances right now, though while  not physical in nature, are just mind boggling and have life changing ramifications which involve my children as well.  It makes me want to blow up at times, but  you can't! The one thing  you wrote was that you are alone-but you are NOT.  First of all, your life is not meaningless simply because you do not have family, or children.  YOu are here for a reason and have purpose. This post you just wrote is proof of thast. Secondly, though we are by and large annonymous, you do have your SC family.  I don't really even know you, but yet I do, if that makes any sense. I do not want you to hurt or feel alone.  You do have a reason and you do have a voice. I feel like I am rambling, but I just wanted you to know that you have my support. Keep your chin up!
  • NotWhoYouThink said on Jun 04, 2008....
    Cuppa-This is a great outlook to have, that much is true.  I too am in the midst of seemingly overwhelming circumstances right now, though while  not physical in nature, are just mind boggling and have life changing ramifications which involve my children as well.  It makes me want to blow up at times, but  you can't! The one thing  you wrote was that you are alone-but you are NOT.  First of all, your life is not meaningless simply because you do not have family, or children.  YOu are here for a reason and have purpose. This post you just wrote is proof of thast. Secondly, though we are by and large annonymous, you do have your SC family.  I don't really even know you, but yet I do, if that makes any sense. I do not want you to hurt or feel alone.  You do have a reason and you do have a voice. I feel like I am rambling, but I just wanted you to know that you have my support. Keep your chin up!
  • Comment on "is life meant to be difficult.........?"

    life Difference family (Click to add tags below)

    (Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)

    This is a GOOD one! I still can't believe this one myself........
    does it matter???...
    because i'm fat......
    One of my friends at work was telling me about this date she went on the other night, and she wanted a man's opinion about the whole thing. I was more than happy to tell her what I thought, but I am curious what other people might think too....
    For those of you with sensitive ears, you might want to click away for a moment....

    Subscribe to the SoulCast Newsletter To Receive the Best Uncensored Blogs About Love, Sex, Relationships, God, Politics, and More.


    Ever wonder what people really think and how they really live?

    Read about the real lives of regular people like you whose powerful moving blogs will make you smile, cry, emotional, and warm inside.

    Your FREE SoulCast newsletter is just moments away. Receive your first feel-good blog by entering your email address below.

    First Name:
    Your Email:


    You can unsubscribe at any time with one click. We NEVER sell or share your email address with anyone. Period. close