Believing in promises that can not come true is very frustrating.
I found a girl friend way back in 1997. We used to be classmates at a computer school in Ozamiz City, Misamis Occidental. She was a resident of a neighboring province,Zamboanga del Sur. Like me, she also used to commute back home after our class hours.
The short course, Business Application Softwares, was a lot of fun. At first, meeting her during the first hours of class was just casual. But, gradually as I was observing her every now and then, I came to like her though she was not pretty outwardly. There was one thing I liked in her. So, it was her being a cool person.
By the middle of our term, I began courting her and went with her to their home province, until such time that we became lovers in May 1997. I used to stay in their house for 2 to 3 days. I saw from my own eyes that they were a big and extended family. I felt a little discomfort with their presence since I am not used to live with a big family.
In our own family, we used to be 3 members living with ou parents. Now, we are 2 left, my sister and me, when our oldest brother died in 1979 at age 45 due to stroke.Our mother also died on April 13, 1986 due to the same cause.
The short term course came to its end. Still, I visited her to their family house. But, the visits were suddenly stopped when my elderly father was bed-ridden on September 18, 1998 at the age of 88. From then on, I seldom visited her and came the time that it became very rare to come to her house due to the critical condition of my father whom I rendered care giving.
She left for Kuwait to work as a domestic helper some time in March 2002. Eager to meet her at the ship port on that very evening of her departure from Ozamiz City to Manila, Philippines, I left my father for hours at home. After around 30 minutes of hugs and kisses, she proceeded to the ship for boarding and departure. I also bid her goodbye and took the last evening trip back to my home town.
Our relationship seemed cold since she rarely sent letters or called me on the phone, and I personally became lazy to write her.
In July 2006, I was very happy to read her text messages telling me she was saving money for our future, and planned to take me with her to the US when we would be married with the help of her sister in California, USA.
Time passed by, my father died due to old age at age 95 on April 18, 2004. My family sent me to a caregiver school to study 6-month care giving. After completing the course, I then went on job hunting through internet online application. During this time, I still hope that my girl friend could help me out of this problem which is looking for carer job.
When she arrived from Kuwait on February 15, 2008, things went worse when I learned from her that she had no savings. She told me that her family assigned her to pay for all credit loans. I was greatly disappointed and turned-off about the situation. I began to distaste a big family. I speculated the worst to come if I join her family when we get married.
Gradually, I expressed to her my frustrations of her unrealized promises. Especially I need someone to lean on in my most pressing situation. Then, I made my final decision to discontinue our relationship even though she rejected it.
I think I have made the right decision. So much suffering was underwent during the time I took charge of our frail elderly father for 5 years and 7 months under house confinement.Many things were deprived from me including the time to look for a stable job and to make decisions for marriage life. I have to start from zero balance. That is a great, great struggle until now.
