I love reading ET's posts because he sees life through positive if irreverent eyes. It's a slice of ordinary life seen through an extraordinary filter.

I enjoy reading SilverWhisper because he offers such sage views and he always makes an effort to make you feel welcome  and appreciated on your own posts.

There are many others I love to read for various reasons, but in all, I feel good or have grasped some new concept, or have gained some appreciation for life I had not yet experienced prior to reading each of their posts.

I haven't been posting lately. Maybe because I've been feeling uneasy about so many things in my life lately, I fear if I do post, it will all be a monotonous dribble laden with self-pity and rants about perceived unjusts in my world.

I thought it might be easier to post a list and get it off my chest in one fell swoop. And then be done with it.

The Clouds

1. I know my bosses aren't happy with me and it's been expressed to my peers that "they don't know what they are paying me to do." I don't even know how to defend myself. I'm working hard, but they don't see it.
   
2. My Dad is moving across the country and I've got mixed feelings about it. If he moves, I won't have any family left nearby. I think it makes me feel incredibly vulnerable.
3. I've had very lovely guests visiting from an African country, but neither they nor my roommate is comfortable so close to the cats, so I've had to lock him in my room with me at night, and he plays all night long, keeping me awake. The guests leave this coming Friday, but it's been three sleepless weeks.
4. My friend came for a visit last night, and although I enjoy his company and the comfort of lying next to his warmth, my head on his chest, cradled in his arms, it makes me sad. He's a sweet, and sexy man, but he's not in a position to pursue a relationship with me, but says he will gladly step aside should I find someone who is interested in a relationship. There is a part of me who is watching the biological clock tick and wishes I didn't have to search anymore, that I could just settle down and start a family now.
5. I'll be 40 on June 16. I'm not excited about it.
6. I ate at a Chinese restaurant for lunch today and my fortune cookie was fortuneless. I mean there wasn't even a shred of a fortune in it! Just empty.
   
7. I'm both lonely and picky. A bad combination for a nearly 40, single woman, wanting to start a family.
8. I've been having a great deal of writer's block lately.

The Silver Lining:

1. I awoke last week with an epiphany for a seven-volume book series, complete with the series title and the titles of every volume. I put down 600 words toward my first novel. It was hard to write more with all the bustle in my house with the guests.
   
2. I got laid last night.
3. I lost 20lbs. since December.
4. A date I had last week genuinely exclaimed when he first met me, "Wow, you are really beautiful!" That kinda helped.
   
5. ... wait... I'm still thinking... Okay, I'll have to get back to you on more positives...

Okay, vented. Done.