uniquely-ironic's tags:
I'm a little frustrated with Bill.  (yeah, like that's  new)
 
We had a fairly pleasant weekend.  My daughter came down to stay with us, and since my budget has been assaulted by the many and varied expenses of the upcoming graduations we just kicked it at home.  We caught a movie, but smuggled in our snacks and I cooked a lot of meals instead of going out a few times.
 
For the past month or so I've had this constant barage of graduation conversations with him.  I told him more than 6 months ago that I was planning to take a few days off during graduation so that I could enjoy it rather than dash around trying to beat traffic, etc to be at their graduations.
 
In the past month alone I know I've had at least 3-4 conversations about whether or not he was able to take the same days off of work.  I know he has them accumulated for vacation pay.  I have put in my request for the days off and as soon as my boss figures out what he did to his computer he's agreed to approve them.
 
So last night, because I know that I have not heard the words "I have the time approved" out of his mouth I asked him about it again.  I almost leaped out of bed and choked the living shit out of him when he asked me "what time?".  I do not need this stress from him.
 
He's decided to take 1/2 day off for each graduation so that we won't have to break the sound barrier to drive there in time for the ceremonies.  I'm mad that he didn't take the entire day off.  I mean, it's not like the company he works for will collapse if he takes a whole day off!  Get real!  Everyone replaceable.
 
It's like he really doesn't hear anything I say unless it's something he wants to hear.  I may need to cut back on my caffiene intake.


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Comments

  • secretlife said on May 27, 2008....
    i soooo feel your pain.
    i just figured my husband has gotten very good at selective hearing, but i'm sure it's a common complaint.
    sometimes i wonder if i repeated things less, he'd hear me more....
    i'm afraid to try it when it's something really important tho.
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    SL - It's a no win situation with men like that.  If I keep talking and reminding him I'm nagging, if I don't keep talking and reminding him it's my fault that I didn't say anything!!!!  Sheesh!  I've tried the talking less strategy and take my word for it, it has no effect on whether they listen better.
  • secretlife said on May 27, 2008....
    i used to bitch about him turning me into a nag- 
    or otherwise turning me into his 'mother' by having to treat him like a child.
     
    i do alot less repeating these days, and it really has to be a special occasion when i'll repeat.  he's gotten better at hearing the important stuff-  but i will say that last week he showed up at 7:05pm for the girl's spring concert....even tho i waited home til 6:45 for him to show up so we could go together.
    i guess i've accepted a bit that if he missed it, it would be his loss.
    although if he HAD missed it, i'm sure we wouldn't be speaking today.
     
    marriage is just a bowl of cherries some days!
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    SL - I've also come to terms with the possibility that by talking (nagging) less it means that he will miss more.  Why can't they just listen?!!
  • Eilan said on May 27, 2008....
    My husband's good at hearing the important stuff, but it the little everyday conversations that he sometimes doesn't listen to.  That's when I start talking about all the affairs I've been having, the fact that our youngest child isn't really his, etc, etc, just to see how long it takes him to hear what I'm actually saying.
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    Eilan - what's the record for outrageous statements?  I've done this too, but in Bill's case his "radar" is finely tuned to nonsense statements, just not the important stuff.
  • Alyss said on May 27, 2008....
    That happened to me all the time and still does to an extent.
  • quietone said on May 27, 2008....
    maybe the we should use key words to get their attention.. like instead of saying "graduation" say .. ball game, or golf or what ever their interest.. get their attention.. then tell them when that event is to take palce.. key words.. otherwise, its just the way they are wired.. like us.. we'd probably not pay much attention to a lot of talk about cars.. even it it was important to them. Good luck!!!  ah sometimes living alone is a good thing!!  LOL
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    Alyss - I'm afraid it may be a gender flaw :)
     
    quietone - I'm semi-jealous of your solitude.  Yes, I probably should pepper any worthy conversations with words like sex, money, sports car, hot babe, etc.
  • fearing said on May 27, 2008....
    Sorry U-I but I don't think the caffeine decrease will help - the species is genetically flawed.  (Sorry guys)  lol!  Bless you and may you have the strength not to choke him.

  • pickersplock said on May 27, 2008....
    Always put it in writing! LOL
  • fearing said on May 27, 2008....
    lol @ pickers!
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    fearing - yes, caffiene is probably the least of the contributors to this problem.  Maybe I should start writing reminders on his forehead with a sharpie.
     
    pickers - see above.
     
    fearing - apparently pickers and I share a special genius for alternate solutions.
  • CreativeWoman said on May 27, 2008....
    My husbnd  is a lost cause.

    CW
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    CW - I can send you the sharpie as soon as I'm done if it will help :)
  • CreativeWoman said on May 27, 2008....
    UI,
    I guess it might be worth a try.  :-)

    CW
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    CW - or if it doesn't work, it sure does have potential for a good story ;)
  • CreativeWoman said on May 27, 2008....
    UI,
    Yes, and depending upon what I write on him if it could be even funnier.  :-)  

    CW
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    CW - [snickering] Yes, the right word could do wonders for the excitement level of the story ;)
  • Zayda said on May 27, 2008....
    A good friend of mine found that if she wrote important dates on the calendar that her husband still often missed them. So, she started putting them on large post-it notes on the kitchen cabinets. He didn't miss them when she did that.


    Apparently, different things work for different people.


    I typically have to repeat things a couple of times for the hubby.
  • wombat said on May 27, 2008....
    I am usually the one with that "selective hearing" but I know what you mean about the stress of all the rushing around and how it would help matters if you didn't have to worry about that at least. 
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 27, 2008....
    Zayda - I think for Bill not to "miss" something I'd have to resort to putting banners across his front car windshield.  not at all practical.
     
    wombat - I've looked forward to Jon's graduation for years.  The last thing I need is to be rushed.  I want to savor every moment.
  • wombat said on May 27, 2008....
    I know what you mean---but in spite of all efforts, hubby completely missed my son's graduation and my graduation from tech school.  He was out on the road.  I missed him sorely at both occasions.  Hope things work out for you better!  I normally repeat myself constantly to make sure I am being listened to, which he hates, but it's all that works.
  • CreativeWoman said on May 27, 2008....
    I could tape some sort of flag to a cow.  I'm sure that would get my husband's attention. 

    CW
  • silverwhisper said on May 28, 2008....
    u-i, does bill use outlook at work? and do you use it at home? b/c if so, perhaps you should consider sending him meeting invitations. i find that using outlook's meeting feature is a helpful way to schedule things--i know it helps me a lot.

    ed
  • quietone said on May 28, 2008....
    Oh, or you could just print it backwards on his forehead so when he looks in the mirror he can read it!! LOL    " noitaudarg"  big bold letters!
  • hotaka said on May 28, 2008....
    One thing I like about reading the posts by married women here is that I make mental notes about what not to do. That being said, I have had similar experiences as you girls except it is my wife (previously girlfriend) who didn't seem to hear what we talked about a few days before. That seems to be working better now. But I know what you mean when you say something like, "Next weekend, why don't we go out to the river early Sunday morning," and she replies, "Sounds great!" and then next Saturday night she's like, "Oh, are we going to the river? Oh, uh... Actually I was thinking we would... and I would... tomorrow." Well, why didn't you say so earlier?

    I probably shouldn't write this. She'll think I am mad at her. Not at all. I love you, sweetheart. I'll be sure to communicate my ideas with you better.
  • uniquely-ironic said on May 28, 2008....
    wombat - If he had a reasonable excuse, such as work committment I would probably feel better about it.  He simply doesn't listen and then gets mad when he misses things.
     
    CW - LOL now that  I want pictures of.
     
    SW - I think the company he works for uses some alternate software, but I can see if he can attach it to his personal email somehow.  I'm willing to try anything.
     
    quietone - I can actually write mirror image.  In jr high I wrote a paper in mirror image because the teacher was a pain in the ass.
     
    hotaka - well, it is nice to see that it isn't just the husbands that are guilty of not really listening.  I think the thing that makes a person mad about this is that not listening usually affects both people.
  • hotaka said on May 29, 2008....
    That is very true, UI.

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