Note to self: Ok, this is for real now, so don't screw it up! Ok?
I have looked around for a while before actually doing this so I have some idea what sort of questions I need to answer in my first blog. Especially since this is an introblog. I have noticed some people simply jump right into the frey so to speak without having first intoduced themselves. That's ok I guess, but to me its is just a little tacky. People like to know something about a person before they are willing to sit down and actually have that 'intellectual' conversation with them. So bear with me as I try to give you a mental picture of the one called naturalboi.
I am male (obvious right?) in my early twenties with a predeliction toward humor, wiseassery, (ok, I know that's not actually a word but who really cares, right?) and dysfunctionalism. Ok, so I'm not a genius (IQ in the mid 150's) but my father's IQ is somewhere in the stratosphere and my mother doesn't even have to speak for everyone to know that she's "Smarter than the average bear!" (I love those old Yogi and Booboo toons, don't you, way cool)
I graduated high school at age sixteen (Ok, so I skipped a couple grades, big deal!) and headed off to college six months before my seventeenth birthday. (College life is rad, but thats a matter for another discussion) Essentially I have been living away from my parents ever since. Oh yeah, I go home once in a while, but not all that often. It gets pretty intense, you know? They generally disapprove of every thing I have ever done since I was about ten. They think that I am wasting my life or some such crap. Hey, its my life, right? So bug off!
Currently I have a teaching fellowship at some small college in the northeast (thats as specific as it gets folks) I'm like a total waste there, because no one takes Am Lit as a major anymore, I mean literally no one. I think I am the last Am Lit major in the history of the world. Lame, right? Some day there will be a monument errected at my alma matre in recognition of this fact. For real!
Sorry, I forgot about the drones and airheads. Some of them still do read. Not many though. It is for them that the department brought me here. They thought that maybe they really needed a true space cadet on the faculty.
So one class I taught last semester was one where the students picked the reading material. On the first day of class I gave them a form to submit the next class time suggesting a book to read. One dude actually suggested some drivel by Dean Koontz, I mean give me a freakin' break would you? Get real kids! My department head told me, "At least they want to read something!" I mean, but this is an elective, not core, so you'd think that anyone taking this course would actually want to read good literature. We didn't read Koontz! No freakin' way!
Ok, I've probably already pissed off about half of you so lets see what I can do about the rest.
Some of you may have already guessed by my username that I might perhaps, maybe kinda sorta be somewhat gay. Wrongamente! There's no kinda sorta about it. So what? I believe its best to deal with that issue straight on, thats why I chose the name. I haven't always been so open, in fact I'm not really all that open about my sexuality out here in the real world. It gets complicated. The reason I wanted to deal with it here is that there will be times in future writings that I may say something that will suggest my procilvities. If you know up front where I'm comming from you won't be shocked and amazed by such sudden revelations. I don't wear my sexuality on my shirtsleeve (hey, hetero brothers, do you go around saying "Hey I'm straight! Deal with it!" I didn't think so, so why should I?) I detest that in your face attitude so prominent around the gay community. Its damn stupid and counterproductive. So this will be the last time I address my sexuality.
Now that we have dealt with that one lets move on to more important things. How's that other half doing, some of you still hanging around?
Ok, so I'm an arrogant ass. I've been called worse. I can deal with it and I think most of you can too. Otherwise you wouldn't still be reading, right?
I am a natrual boy in that I enjoy the more simple and natural things in life. I spend a lot of time out in the woods wandering around and simply enjoying...nature. Generally I hike alone, but if there's someone who wants to tag along all the better. Unlike a lot of nature buffs, I'm not a nature photographer. I'm not real good at composition, lighting and all that stuff you need to keep in mind if you want to take good photos. I just like being out there.
Conversely I despise being indoors. I know I have to live with it at the moment but one of my goals is to live in nature, out there with the creatures of the wild. Way cool, huh?
Some day when the old man croaks and I get my hands on his cash (which won't be for at least anotther 40 or 50 years I hope) maybe I can fulfll my dreams. Or maybe by then there won't be any nature left out there. What a depressing thought!
Hey don't get me wrong, I love my parents dearly. I wouldn't be who or where I am without them. Its just that they are so...parently. You know what I mean, I know you do.
Ok, so I lied, shoot me! This is where I have a little question and answer session where I get to address some of the things I know I will be asked at some point or another down the road. This is where the comment about having lied comes from. I simply must address some 'fag' related questions. They will come up eventually so we may as well get it over with. Sorry!
I'll call the interviewer Y'all.
Y'all - So dude you're like queer right?
me - No dude, I'm not like queer. I am queer, if you like that particular word. I don't!
Y'all - So, like do I like turn you on, or what?
me - Why do you ask, you interested?
Y'all - Whoa dude, step back. I'm not saying anything like that. But I'm a guy right? And fags like guys right? And you're a fag, so do you get all heated up whenever you see anothe guy or what?
me - If that were true I'd be in a perpetual state of arousal wouldn't I? Next stupid question!
Y'all - So, I don't turn you on?
me - You sound disappointed!
Y'all - Nah, just curious dude. So, like when did you first realise that you were a freakin' fairy?
me - That's a tough one I think. Some guys can tell you about the very moment they made that personal discovery. I think the idea more or less evolved over a period of years in my case. There's no defining moment I can relate.
Y'all - Wierd dude, you mean like you didn't always know? I mean once you started to think about things like sex and all.
me - I think that is what I just said.
Y'all - So dude, did you ever like girls, you know, the way you like guys?
me - Of course. I still do. I'm just not about to sleep with one, because I like men. Just because I find a girl attractive and maybe have the occational fantasy about one doesn't mean I'm about to change who I am.
Y'all - Ok, so that leads to the next obviouos question. Have you ever been with a girl, you know done it?
me - That's really none of your business, but I'll answer anyway. Sure I have, who hasn't? Infact my first sexual experience was with a girl, but I'm not going into details here.
Y'all - Cool, so you haven't always been fruity. That's cool, so what made you change?
Some vixon tear your heart out and stomp on it or something like that?
me - You know dude, you are a freakin' idiot. Why is it that whenever someone finds out someone is gay they automatically think it is the result of some traumatic, heartbreaking experience he had with some girl? That's just lame!
Y'all - Ease up dude! I'm just asking questions here. So, what was it then that made you go all limp wristed and sweet?
me - Piss off, I'm not answering anymore of your stupid questions. Besides I already answered that one didn't I? Jerk!
