Last evening along about dinner time there was a knocking at my door. It was my grandson, Nathaniel, who had decided that he would spend the weekend with his old gramps. He brought along with him, Jason, his eldest cousin. Jason, my younger son's eldest, seldom comes over of his own accord so I was a bit surprised to see him standing there beside his cousin.
Of course, not having planned for company, there was nothing prepared for them to eat. I decided that since the other day, when the family conspiracy came into full fruition, I was denied the pizza I had been craving that we would order in. Both boys found that agreeable, as I had no doubt they would.
Now keep in mind that I have precious few of the electronic gadgets the youngs ones find so attractive, so there is little for them to do at my house. I do, of course have the computer and a very limited collection of games. As I wondered just how they intended to enterain themselves they both disapeared into the basement recreation room which does boast a relatively good pool table, dartboard, and the widescreen television, actually the only television in the house. I thought, "Well at least they've found something to do."
Within a few moments they reappeared with a rather worn edition of Snigglets, which they insisted I join them in playing. Thus we filled the hour or so awaiting the arrival of our pizza and wings with a largely irreverant playing of what I always considered a rather silly game. We did have great fun though. I do believe that this was the first time that game has been played in many years.
Once supper arrived the game rapidly became history again, and has been once again relegated to the dark recesses of the game closet. As seems customary with boys, the consumption of pizza and wings required a great deal of grotesque mistreatment of the food prior to actually depositing it into the mouth. And of course the inner child in me had to play along to some degree. I am certainly glad that none of my business associates were present, as my sanity may well have been called into question.
Shortly after supper David, Jason's father, arrived to retrieve his son as he had 'obligations' at home. David is a tad more stern with his children than I would like, but that is not my choice to make. Who am I to question the authority of another parent? It was a pleasure having Jason around at any rate. He has a great sense of humour and a rather wild imagination as the playing of Snigglets provided evidence of both.
After the others had left Nathaniel compelled me to retire to the livingroom while he cleaned up the remains of supper. When finished he came in and deposited himself into Edna's chair. It was then that it occurred to me that no one since her death had occupied that chair for even the briefest of moments. That is until that very momnent. Nate did so without so much as a thought about whose chair it had been. It was the closest to where I sat, therefore was the most logical choice of seating. This pleased me more than I thought possible. At least someone was moving beyond the pain.
We talked at some length, largely about much of nothing. He recited his plans for the summer, much of which included spending time here. After some time he surprised me beyond what I thought my ability to be surprised. He came over, sat in my lap and gave me the biggest hug I have received in quite some time. I noticed then that there were tears in his eyes. He refused to talk about the source of the tears, and I let it drop.
Eventually we made our way to the pool table where he proceeded to show his old gramps just who was the master of the table in the Raven family. I was never particularly good at the game, but I could usually hold my own against my children. After suffering a series of shameful defeats I begged off and suggested something more along my abilities. We played chess for a bit, but he proved himself a worthy opponent there as well.
Along about midnight Nathaniel announced that he was going to bed, so off he went to shower and prepare for the night. About a half hour later I went to his room to say good night. I sat on the foot of his bed and we chatted briefly about what we might do in the morning. I then noticed once again that his eyes were wet with tears. Once again he refused to discuss tha matter, so once again I let it drop.
I slept fitfully all night, concerned about what might be troubling my grandson. When I awoke this morning I remained exhausted from lack of sleep. By the tme I arrived in the kitchen to prepare breakfast Nate had already done so. He seemed his old cheerful self and has remained so all day today. I guess that which was bothering him has more to do with his changing physiology than with anything else. I may never know, but when and if he wishes to open up, he will. Until then I must simply hold my tongue.
At the moment he is downstairs watching a movie, and the last I looked he was chatting on his cell with his father.
I have informed him that he will not be accompanying me tomorrow to the club for my golf game with my sons and sons in law. He will have to find something with which to entertain himself for the few hours I'll be gone. He expressed a desire to come along and caddy for me. I reminded him that I haven't used a caddy in well over twenty years, and he accepted his fate. I am quite sure that he will find something to occupy his time.
I cannot get over the feeling that there is something deeply troubling him though.
