So here is the thing. There have been two years between the events of my last post and now. The whole attach yourself to someone for the rest of your life. I screwed up the first time. So here I am 24 months later. On the verge again.
That brings me to a preponderance. What is commitment ? I'll tell you why I'm suddenly and rather inconveniently pondering these things now, 10 weeks from my wedding date. I'm marrying yet another Englishman. So we didn't grow up in the same country, we don't think in the same fashion, Or either or both of us are aliens from a different species.
He's moved here to wild Africa, and by all accounts seems to be enjoying it, or at least that's what he says. Am I just being paranoid or what? He works for my dad learning a trade. The thing with trade apprenticeships is that they don't happen over night or even in a year or 2 or 4. They last about 5 years. The refrigeration, aircontioning and ventilation trade in South Africa has some of the best training to be found anywhere. You have people from Saudi Arabia coming here to do the training here. Anyway.
A month ago he comes to me and says," Babe, what do you think about us going back to the United Kingdom, so that I can do training there?" Now my own history with that ancient island is rather complicated. Due to the last visa I had, I may not apply for the same one within 5 years. That means I cannot go back with him, and we'll be seperated for 5 years. Because knowing him, he won't come back at intervals. Now I don't know if I'm being selfish here.
The last time we were seperated for 6 months, him in England and me here in South Africa. We only survived breaking up by a flea whisker. I don't want to end up married to a dude I won't see for half a decade. So I told him I'd cancell the wedding if decides he wants to go back.
Am I being unfair? The trouble is, people don't realise that love isn't enough. It needs to be fed, and what kind of compost would it be getting with a significant other 6000 miles away, only communicating online, and the occassional phonecall.
My brother hears about this he is going to go spare.
