I don't know why it has always been hard for me to say no to people. When I do say no, I feel guilty! I am just not very assertive. I want everyone to like me,and I think most do, but I never know if it is because I don't say no, or if they like me for me. Can you give me some pointers?
Comments
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silverwhisper said on May 23, 2008....
it's easier sometimes to tell people yes when you want to say no. generally, we want to be helpful to others, so we want to say yes--but when saying yes is bad for us for whatever reason it becomes difficult, doesn't it?
what i try to keep in mind is that my time or whatever is being sought already has a purose to which i intend to use it, and so long as the negative ramifications of changing that are worse, i find it a whole lot easier to say no to people.
besides, if you give someone what they want every time they ask, they really do tend to take you for granted, and that's never a good thing.
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brit said on May 28, 2008....
Being assertive isn't always easy, but it's necessary in order for you to get your things done. Having a priority list helps and if you compare what your working on for your own task list to what someone else is demanding you help them on and your task is more important just say "I cannot do that right now, but write it down/ instant message me to do and I'll get to it shortly." Something to that effect. I find that the person that demands I do something for him right away just sort of "forgets" about it for a while and I end up getting to the task shortly like I said (even though that means I pause my task after wrapping up an email or something). I hope I'm helping!
You might just have to be firm. When you speak firmly and with command in your voice, others respond. In many instances, you may end up telling the person making the demands what to do, thus giving yourself the upperhand for the moment.