• Zayda said on May 21, 2008....

  IMNH: You can do this. You can.
  
  
  I can't imagine what you are going through right now having just come out of treatment to face this.
  
  
  But in your recent posts I have seen a strength and a clarity that I haven't seen in previous ones.
  
  
  So, I know, from those words in those posts, that you can do this.
  
  
  One thing at a time. One small step at a time. One day at time.
  
  
  You can do it.
  
  
  Pray, meditate. Breathe. Big deep, life embracing breaths. Focus on that core of strength that we see in you. Close your eyes and picture it; it's there within you.
  
  
  And take my hand--squeeze it for all it's worth.

• mcgriff said on May 21, 2008....

  You can do it ! I have faith in you! You are stronger than you give yourself credit for! Think of your daughter, you need to be there for  her! You can do this - dont tell yourself you cant!! BE STRONG

• Sunshine_Mariah said on May 21, 2008....

  *hugs* Come here sweety... put the razor down. I did that enough today for the both of us I'm afraid :-( Don't you do it too.... Stay strong, your little girl needs it.

• MommaSue said on May 21, 2008....

  I am so sorry for your loss.  I cannot imagine what that feels like.  I have lost a best friend before, but not one as close as yours was.
   
  Hold on though.  It will get better.  You can still see him in your daughter.  You can still hold him through your daughter.
   
  And your daughter needs her mother.  She needs to know that she is not alone either.  Together the two of you can become strong.
   
  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

• MissMimi said on May 21, 2008....

  Zayda has one hand.  Give me the other.  We'll form a circle of strength for you to draw on.

  You can do this.  You have a daughter who is depending on you.  When you think you can't hold on any longer, hang on for just one more minute.  String those minutes together.  One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

  You don't think you are, but you're tough and strong, INH.  You are in my prayers.

• nytquill17 said on May 21, 2008....

  Oh, my friend.  My heart aches for you.
  
  Just focus on the next breath.   And when that one's done, focus on the next one.  No further ahead than that.  Put your left foot in front of your right foot.  Then your right foot in front of your left foot.  Left, right, left, right.  That's all you need to know how to do.  You don't need to know how to walk, or how to get where you want to go.  Just move one foot at a time.  Take one breath at a time.
  
  The people around you are grieving, but that doesn't mean they can't be there for you if they love you.  Being hurt doesn't exclude the capacity to care for and help a friend.  No man, or woman, was ever meant to be an island.  We all have to carry our own burdens but we don't have to do it in solitude.  Maybe now is the time to learn to reach out - forget self-sufficience, forget image.  They're lies anyway.  This is about just getting through.  If you need help, you need it.  People will understand that need best at a time like this, anyway.
  

• quietone said on May 21, 2008....

  fight like there is no tomorrow hungry, you can do this.. you have come SO very far!!  We are here for you.. I wish we could be there in person, but just close your eyes and imagine we are all right there with you.. holding you - lean on me!!

• wombat said on May 21, 2008....

  So many good words from these others....I can only add that you must hold on.  You can do what needs to be done and please don't resort to something that will not help you or anyone.  I can't say I understand what you are speaking of---but it must be so hard for you.  My prayers are still here........

• skald said on May 21, 2008....

  I can only send you my best thoughts and I am doing that. 

• Lucytorial said on May 21, 2008....

  IMH, grief is an intense emotion an extremely difficult experience, you can do this girl, just breath.

• Jenna said on May 21, 2008....

  I am in on that circle of strength.......You are amazingly strong.  I believe in you.  Just when you think you can't go on......GO ON.  As others have said.....breathe.....get through...and when all is said and done....come here to us.  We will then be your strength. 
  God bless!
  

• Mamie said on May 21, 2008....

  ...ducking my head under Jenna's arm to join the circle. We are here ,Lady. Breathe. Only focus on today. Only focus on this night. Tomorrow will be ready when you get to it. There are many things you will do the next few days that will be inportant for your little family. You will find it comforting to be all together. Lean on the rest of the family. They will feel better being able to care for you and your girlie. Trust me, I do know that. Our circle here is tight, we will hold you and we will not let go.

• Me-Myself&I said on May 21, 2008....

  I'm joining the circle too. Can you feel our strength and postive energy? You have support, we all care. Please take care of yourself. You can do this! (hug) i'll be reading.

• Mamie said on May 21, 2008....

  I also want you to know that if I could do so,
  I would be right by your side for real.

• rmuxagirl said on May 21, 2008....

  if i could I would be standing at your other side with mamie.  We would be your strength.  We are banded here together for you INH.  We love you.  When you feel like hiding in the closet....call out to Jesus.  I don't know your faith background but either way he is there for you.  He wants to carry you, lift you up in his arms.  

• vacantmind said on May 21, 2008....

  Alright SC make room for one more in this circle. INH, I know you can do this. You want it so bad. Make him proud of you dear. Honor him by showing him that his daugther will always be loved and cared for and the woman that he once loved will teach his daughter how to move on.

• Fallyn said on May 21, 2008....

  i'm here.
  my own strength i've gained through so much strife is joined with all the others here already. we won't let you fall....even from far far away....we won't let you fall.
  draw on all our strength until you can stand.
  keep coming back....keep posting.....someone will be here to lean on.
  

• purposeful said on May 21, 2008....

  i wish i knew what to say. hope you feel better soon.

• RollingC said on May 22, 2008....

  I'll keep you in my prayers INH.... Have faith and trust in God no matter how difficult life gets.
  ♥
  Rc

• Ownedgalbabs said on May 22, 2008....

  When you feel the need to cry, then cry. Don't be afraid to let it out.  Don't be afraid to let it be known that you are frustrated, angry, hurting, etc.  Grief is a difficult emotion to try to come to grips with.
  
  
  Unlike other losses, this one is so hard to cope with because as you have already said, "he was your rock". I understand this all too well.  That sense of once being a couple and now you stand, alone.
  
  This will pass.  The pain that you feel today?  It will. You  will experience happiness again.  Days without tears, sorrow and frustration. 
  
  Don't be afraid to ask for help. Or to accept it.  You know all the well wishers that might say, "if there is anything I can do?"  By all means tell them what you are thinking and feeling, bend those ears and ask for help for yourself and your daughter....time "outs" .  Right now you need all the help that is available...take it.
  
  You will survive this.....I know you may not fully believe that right now....but you will.  In the mean time I will keep you in my thoughts; sending peaceful and kind thoughts towards you and your daughter, in the days ahead.
  
  Hugs,
  babs
  

• diabolicdame said on May 22, 2008....

  You can do this INH! I believe in you.. this kind of loss in one of the hardest things to go through in life but this too shall pass! You will be happy again..  you will be happy for your own sake and for our daughters.. you have her.. she is your joy, isn't she? I will pray for you both.. god bless you.  ((hug))

• pickersplock said on May 22, 2008....

  I believe in you too, INH! :)

• MommaSue said on May 22, 2008....

  this is a nice article and may offer a little hope...
   
  http://www.guidepostsmag.com/personal-change/positive-people-archive/?i=674
   
  still holding you in my thoughts...

• wombat said on May 22, 2008....

  Still thinking of you and what you are going through.  Will be keeping an eye out for you when you are able to return and let us know how you are. 

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