letters_on_paper~ posted on May 20, 2008
| views: 434
| Tags: Hope, pixel-paper theraphy, BEST MOM EVER, winner, kids, future, protagonist, Well, stories, Heroes, bipolar, depression, suicide
15.36
Tuesday
20th of May 2008
I stare at the screen and wait until my heart settles and my brain clears.
I never seem to manage to put the thoughts that I want to release the minute I think of writing here. It always ends up being different from the original thoughts that I wanted to write.
Rose is walking around here, and at this very minute, I would rather watch her frolick around with her new hair-do that Sunflower made for her.
Not 10 minutes ago, I would have swallowed any pill that would take me away from this world and sleep eternal sleep.
I am tired of this.
Yesterday, I felt almost the same sane self. After a phone call it went downhill.
I was mighty proud of myself for taking the phone call, now I regret it
On one hand, I feel I need to resume on doing what "everybody" does for the sake of the girls. On the other hand, I want to just trust my instincts telling me to be who I am. But I am utterly confused.
I wish I could cry until all these pain goes away.
I don´t want to hate myself for wasting time being the way I am.
Isn´t it life, what I have?
Can anyone here me out there . . . I want respite?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is no pause button to life.
I am tired of the thoughts in my head:
loser
failure
pathetic
I know, I am not that all that. But I cannot block out the thoughts, images, and memories of what I have not done, what I have done, what I cannot do.
Death
Depression
Divorce
I am not the first to go all through this.
Written and performed for the Trans Day of Remembrance.... read entire post
MsStar39
posted on Nov 06, 2009
| views: 73
|
Tags: life, Hope, determination
Stay committed to your dream.... read entire post
queenparanoia
posted 8 days ago
| views: 69
|
Tags: life, Hope, link
i might hide for a while...... read entire post
truthsayer
posted on Nov 03, 2009
| views: 115
|
Tags: autumn, Hope, Truth, repent, love
It's a blustery-flustery-cloudy-day. That is just perfect.
I love Autumn Days.
They are my favorite.
This is a time of re
Do you have any repentant reflections to share from the past year of your life?... read entire post
truthsayer
posted on Nov 04, 2009
| views: 93
|
Tags: Truth, faith, Fall, love, Hope, children
Perhaps I love autumn because I had three more babies in autumn. Their birthdays are one month after another...all autumn months. My eldest was born in January. You may have read my blog about her. I usually try not to talk a... read entire post