It's been awhile since I've written, and a lot of funny shit has gone down.  I don't really know where to start, but Crustine seems as good a place as any.

I met Crustine almost a year ago.  She began dating my bf's friend T, and came over the house w/him for a cook out.  I wasn't overly fond of her, but didn't dislike her or anything.  I will try to describe her so you can have a better mental picture.  She is tall and skinny.  I mean really, really skinny.  She's like 5'7 and 105 pounds.  She is completely flat chested, longish dirty brown hair straight outta the 80's, somewhat manly looking.  Pale.  She is 35, has two kids and lives w/her parents, on welfare.  You can tell by talking to her for a minute or two that there's not a whole lot going on upstairs.  She kant speel reel gud.  She's worked fast food most of her life. 

Ok, so like I said, she's my bf's friends girl, and I would only see her occasionally, like when we'd all go out for dinner or drinks or something.  That changed about a month ago.  Me and my bf had to go to court, T came as my bf's witness and he brought crustine along.  She asked for my phone # and started calling me a few days later.  I had no prob w/that, she's not really my type of person but I'll give anyone a chance.  After talking to her for a few days, I noticed something strange.  Everything I said to her, my bf was suddenly bringing up.  I looked at the cell phone records and discovered that her and my bf were spending hours a day on the phone w/eachother!!!  Now you might think I'd be mad, but I really wasn't.  I'm used to my bf lying to me all the time.  I wasn't all that pleased about her deciding to backstab me for no reason, but I don't really expect too much from women either.  It wasn't a shocker.  Instead of saying something, I decided to fuck w/them.  I began saying crazier and crazier shit to her, knowing she would tell my bf.  I told her that I was fucking lots of other men and women, doing crazy drugs, that my bf has hit me and fucked my friends....various things.  He realized before her that I was fucking w/them, and confessed to me what had been going on the day before I planned to tell her I had an std.  He also decided to tell T about it, and said he no longer wanted to talk to Crustine. 

The very next day he met T after work and told him everything Crustine had confided in him about T.  Nothing good, mainly that she thought T was cheating on her and was planning to leave him.  He told T to ask Crustine to stop calling him.

That night the prank calls started.  Someone kept calling the house phone and blocking their number, then hanging up when my bf answered.  My bf kept saying he knew it was Crustine.  I figured it probably was.  I told him to just not answer and it would stop, but he just kept answering anyway and saying shit like, "I know it's you Crustine you fucking cunt!!" 

Meanwhile, I had decided to stop talking to her.  I felt bad for her b/c she's a retard, but that doesn't make it cool for her to betray me.  A week after I stopped answering her texts, she decides to text me an apology and ask if she can buy me dinner.  Should've said no, should've said no.  She did seem sorry, and I'm kind of a sucker.  Plus, free dinner!  So I told her I'd accept her apology, don't do it again.  Began talking to her again.  Figured why not, it's not like anything she'd done had really phased me.  She's not smart enough for all that.  A couple days later we decide to go grab some food again.  (the prank phone calls still had not stopped at this point, and my bf was still insisting it was her.)  I get out of work at midnight, and called my bf to tell him I was going to eat w/Crustine.  He got all pissed off and said she'd been prank calling the house all night.  I was like, "Look, you have no proof that it's her.  It might be, it might not be."  At which point he got even more pissed, said he KNEW it was her, and hung up on me.  I kinda just shrugged it off and had dinner w/Crustine.  We were at denny's for about an hour and a half.  As we were leaving I observed her flipping open her phone as she was getting into her car.  She saw me watching her and called out, "I'll call you in a few minutes!"  30 seconds later my phone rings.  It's my bf.  He's like, "You guys are leaving denny's now, huh?"  I said, "Omg, how did you know that?"  He says, "How the fuck do you think I know??  Crustine just prank called the house!!"  My other line starts beeping in, and it's her.  I tell him I'll call him back b/c Crustine is calling.  He hangs up on me, all pissed off.  So I'm talking to her for about a min. when my bf calls me again.  I ask her to hang on, click over to talk to him, and he's basically just bitching at me for hanging out w/her.  Then he says, "She's calling again right now!"  I tell him that's impossible, she's on my other line.  I click over.  "Crustine?"  Dead silence.  "Crustine?  Crustine???  HELLO???"  Finally I hear some clicks and she's back.  She says, "Sorry, I went to turn on the windshield wiper and hit mute by accident."  At that point I decide to say something about it.  I'm like, "Crustine, please tell me you're not prank calling the house."  I explain to her why I'm suspicious, and she starts freaking out.  She tells me that although she is furious at my bf for betraying her, she wouldn't be that petty and immature.  So I say something like, "Ok, that's fine.  I believe you, and I'm tired of him accusing you.  I'm calling verizon tomorrow, and they will tell me who it is.  I know they can do this b/c I've worked for sprint."  She is silent for about 10 seconds, then she says, "Well...maybe you should wait and see if it stops before calling verizon.  Wait and see if you get any calls over the weekend or next week."  At this point I'm trying not to laugh.  I say, "No, I'm calling them tomorrow, and as soon as he sees that it's not you, he will be giving you an apology!!  This is BS!" 

We then had a pretty normal conversation, except every once in awhile she would suggest that I wait and see if the calls stop before calling verizon. 

So yeah, she's out of control.