well...it's happened again.
this time on an even bigger scale.
the guy i've been completely in love with and pining over and crying over and all the stuff that goes along with that has become my best friend.
we were lovers.
we were awkward
we weren't sure what we were.
became a stronger form of friends with benefits
but i can't keep doing it......i want more.
i want love.
i want mushy stuff.
i want romance.
and apparently there is too much in the way for that to happen with him.
and he's ready to date again......ready to find someone closer to love.
we still talk nearly every day.....
and now i get the stories of this girl and that girl.......
and it's deja vu.
i fell in love with my best friend almost 15 years ago.
it never went as far as this did......we never even kissed.
but we were still incredibly close.
we still are incredibly close.
this is love.
these are loves
the truest form of love.
to love a friend......and be accepted by them forever.
is it naive of me to want that in a relationship?
i want to end up witha best friend that is in love with me.
but all i seem to end up with is best friends who end up with someone else?
now there are two.
one just married the love of his life....and i love her. and i've only met her twice. and i love her for making him so happy.
and the other is jumping into dating again....after finally having gotten over me.
i'm glad they are both happy. glad they are finding what they want.
so why am i so sad?
will he tug on my heart for years to come?
it took a decade for my heart to stop hurting over the first one.
