I called my grandparents just a bit ago to ask if it would be alright by them if we have pizza for lunch at the kids' birthday party in a few weeks. There will be 15-20 people and I'm sure not trying to cook for that many in my teeny kitchen, even if I was an excellent chef, which I'm not anyway.
Almost as soon as I'd said hello to my grandmother, she launched into a discussion about how many birds we've had this spring/early summer. There are more than normal, certainly, but she went on and on about how pretty they are and how they'll land on the windowsill and just stay there, etc.
My grandma isn't one for random lengthy discussions, so I waited to discover what all these birds had to do with anything.
Apparently, she'd been out pulling weeds this morning, and while she was bent over, a bird decided that she would make a good landing spot.
"It just perched right back there you-know-where," she told me, almost indignantly. There was a hint of laughter in her voice too.
"On your butt, Grandma? Let me get this straight...a bird...landed on your butt?"
"Yes! I kind of turned a little and it was right there, minding its own business on my derriere!"
What do you say to that?
I wasn't sure whether to offer my condolences for her traumatic experience, to offer suggestions (which I didn't have) for keeping her butt bird-free in the future, or to just laugh my own ass off.
I went with the third option. :-D I almost forgot to ask about the pizza before I hung up!
the_infernal_optimist posted on May 16, 2008
| views: 281
Comments
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quietone said on May 16, 2008....
LOL now that is a first!!! that would have been a priceless picture. -
wishyouwerehere said on May 16, 2008....
That is hilarious! -
nytquill17 said on May 16, 2008....
Oh dear! *giggles* It's great when someone elderly still has a sense of humor; it seems to make the joke just that much funnier. This is a hoot!
Now, I have been a crash landing pad for a kitten (he was playing on my lofted bed, I was sitting in a chair a few inches from the end of the bed, he had a slight miscalculation of his own momentum...) but this one takes the cake!
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diabolicdame said on May 16, 2008....
Hahaha.. I have never heard of a bird landing on someone's butt! lol.. that is so funny! -
evil_twin said on May 16, 2008....
There is a definite bird thing going in our lives huh? I had a bird crap in my car, but I've never had one land on my butt! If I was your grandma I would have cracked up! That's a pretty tame bird though isn't it?
-Kyle
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uniquely-ironic said on May 16, 2008....
Now that's what you call grace under pressure. (to just look back there) I'd have been doing all kinds of contortions.Your gramma must be one very funny lady. -
Mr_Box said on May 16, 2008....
This is a funny post. I wonder if this has anything to do with why I was singing Birdhouse in Your Soul this morning? Maybe your grandmother's butt is the birdhouse of her soul? ;-) -
wombat said on May 16, 2008....
What a funny thing to happen! I wish I had seen that! I had one land on my house shoe recently, but it was a finch and I found out they are prone to getting close. A bird on the butt though! Hillarious! -
the_infernal_optimist said on May 16, 2008....
quiet: I wish someone had had a camera! :-D
wishy: I thought so. It's still funny all these hours later!
nyt: That poor kitten was lucky you were there! ;-) That had to be quite a surprise for both of you, huh?
dia: I had no idea such a thing ever happened...maybe it's the first time, and we just have really stupid birds?
Kyle: There is! At least the bird "didn't do anything while he was back there," in Grandma's words. ;-) Unlike your poor car!
A lot of the birds in their yard are pretty tame -- my grandfather always throws stale bread and things like that out in the yard for them.
Leafy: She is funny, and tough as nails. :) She was probably thinking something unkind about the feathered intruder, followed by "bless his little heart." :-D
Jaxl: Now that's funny! What would that say about her, hmm? ;-)
wombie: It seems like it should be the start of a new proverb:
A bird on the butt is worth...a lot of laughs?
~Infernal
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MissMimi said on May 16, 2008....
A bird in the hand is worth two on the tush?That's priceless, Infernal! -
the_infernal_optimist said on May 16, 2008....
Mimi, that's awesome. You win the funny of the day with that, I think! :-D
~Infernal
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kruuyai said on May 17, 2008....
I was picturing a different landing site when I read the title to this post... but that would have had to have been your grandfather! lol -
MissMimi said on May 17, 2008....
Oh kruu... LOL... -
hotaka said on May 17, 2008....
No question about it. I would have laughed and probably made some smart remark as a follow up. -
nytquill17 said on May 17, 2008....
Infernal: It was more effective than coffee, let's say! -
CreativeWoman said on May 17, 2008....
That is pretty funny. Your grandmother sounds like a lively gal. :-)
CW
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skald said on May 17, 2008....
Well I would have laughed too. :-) That was really funny -
D6fer said on May 17, 2008....
well that wasn't what I was expecting......to be honest I was thinking of something else.......don't ask! ;p -
queenparanoia said on May 18, 2008....
hahhahahha very funny!!!!i miss my grandma... =) -
silverwhisper said on May 18, 2008....
holy crap--infernal, that's hysterical! your grandmother's a very funny lady--i love the indignance in her response to your question! :D
and mimi, that was priceless! :D
ed -
the_infernal_optimist said on May 18, 2008....
kruu: Heh, looks like you and D6 were on the same page with this!
hottie: Somehow, I'm not surprised. :-D
nyt: Yeah, who needs espresso when you have Surprise Cat? :-D
CW: Oh, she is -- she's full of sparkle. :)
skald: Hearing about it was definitely the highlight of my day.
D6: That would have been even funnier, although it would have raised (pardon the pun) some interesting questions!
queenie: You can come visit me and share my grandma if you want. :) She's great.
ed: She's a firecracker, I tell ya. :) (Mimi too, for that matter! :-D)
~Infernal
Comment on ""Wait...a bird landed on your WHAT??""
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