Today i went to the dr and i started a new journey...

Iv had the same gp for 10yrs and so for this journey iv changed to a different one

iv a 2yr programme with a psyhco,therapist and it starts from when i was 5yrs old the earlest age i can remember physically/mentally abusing me,(my mother)

iv seen lots of dr & mh services but it never seems to have worked out,ive always been left on the shelf to cope by myself,(also pusscat support) but never gotten anywhere,

so my 1st visit i was put on new medication and after talking a while /without feeling pressured to a time limit as i was use to i left feeling positive and worth while not as before /where the visit seemed worthless i was given another appointment for 3wks in that time id of sen my psyhco,therapist, i feel alot more positve in myself in knowing that at the end i will be able to look my so called mother in the face without feeling anger and resentment feeling the odd one out,

when i found out that my so called mother had took my neice away for a few days leaving my daughter without a child minder it just made me feel sick, as she knew that she depended on her but my so called mother is so manipulative my neice wudnt of realised ( prob lied to her also), but this is 1 of the reasons i need to block her away from me, more than likely i wkill get txt mess stupid 1s but because i want her to take it serious, i no longer want her in my life i wil send it bk saying "sender blocked" its going to be a hard unpleasant time but to what iv already gone thru thats nothing,its the thort of some of the things she did and at 5yrs old i wondered to myself "what had i done for that" at the age of 5yrs i was sat watching tv with my bro , my yonger sister had lernt to potty train my mother told me to empty it when she had done, but when your 5yrs & your favourate programme is on you tend to forget, wel i remember this time until the day i die, because all of a sudden my head was ragged about then the potty was thrown at me but in it was her poo and wee when it landed off my head she pushed me and screamed "now clean the f,,,,ker up" my hands were covered in poo tears were burning my face blood was coming from my lip, as i went upstairs with it i washed it in the bath and used toilet roll, because id used alot the toilet wouldnt flush so i had to get it out and hold it until it had gone down, with my mother stood over me i was scared,as i was only 5yrs......

so yes its going to be along hard 2yrs but its going to be worth it...