like a lot of guys, i don't dance. i've never been particularly good at it, and while i'm generally pretty coordinated and can usually follow OK, i guess i just don't have the soul of a dancer--which makes it very hard for me to lead very well. when listening to music i'm only interested in how it moves my soul, not my feet.
but i've realized that something interesting has happened to me in the past few months.
at my friend's wedding a few weeks back, i surprised the mrs by being the one asking her to dance. usually, she has to drag me onto the dance floor.
well, the other day, i was commenting to a coworker about something or other (damned if i can recall what) and i observed that her anxiety was much like being afraid to dance: nobody is really looking at you so you might as well go out there and have a good time!
and after the words left my mouth, i remembered that was something the mrs said to me many years ago (we've known one another now for closing in on 2 decades now) when i first mentioned to her that i didn't like dancing: i was too self-conscious.
i'm trying to figure out when i turned that corner in my thinking. i don't know when it happened, but obviously, it did.
i still don't understand why i was so damned anxious about it before!
ed
silverwhisper posted on May 14, 2008
| views: 381
Comments
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quietone said on May 14, 2008....
yup that is an old saying.. dance like nobodys watching and love like its never going to hurt ~ I don't mind dancing I just don't like being the frist couple on the floor -
queenparanoia said on May 14, 2008....
who cares what everybody think!!! dance your heart out big bro!!! =) -
diabolicdame said on May 14, 2008....
Kudos Ed! Dancing is so cool.. you only suck at it as long as you think you do. Once you're comfortable you start getting better and better. I'm glad the world will be seeing more of you dancing now!! :-) -
Twylarants said on May 14, 2008....
I've never been coordinated enough to dance. Seriously...it's not a confidence matter with me...I can't follow the steps. I was in the 3rd grade when a neighbor offered to teach me Irish step dancing. For whatever reason, my parents thought it was a great idea. After 2 weeks she gave up. I don't think she fled back to Dublin though, even if my mother said so. -
CayenneMan said on May 14, 2008....
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the_infernal_optimist said on May 14, 2008....
Good for you, ed. :)
~Infernal
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uniquely-ironic said on May 14, 2008....
I only dance in crowds or my own living room, for everyone's well being ;) I do realize that despite my suckiness in dancing that it's probably a bigger problem to me than anyone else. -
Battycat said on May 14, 2008....
Oh, I'm just soooooo incoordinated, I used to be the one at the back in aerobics classes, about 10 steps behind everyone else. I should be at the age now where I don't care what anyone thinks, but when it comes to dancing I think I'm more self conscious than ever :-) -
MissMimi said on May 14, 2008....
I can't move my feet very well, but I can move to the music. The first time I was out on a dance floor was last year at my niece's wedding. It was quite a liberating experience. mrMimi declined my offer to get up and dance, the old poop, so I danced with my sisters! -
soaringraven said on May 14, 2008....
I never much liked dancing in my youth but over the years, with all the obligatory social events one attend throughout life I have developed a certain tolerance for the activity. Its mostly ballroom dancing ( foxtrot, rumba, tango, waltz ect with the occational twist tossed in for good measure)
I can't see the ramdom flailing about of hips and limbs that the young call dancing today. But they do seem to enjoy themselves in the process so I guess its ok, at least for them.
I must say that if the right music pops up (Chubby Checkers, Fats Domino and the like) even at my age I can still twist up a storm.
soaring
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CreativeWoman said on May 14, 2008....
I don't mind dancing actually. I'm not very good at it, but it is fun when you are with the right group of people.
CW
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Sunshine_Mariah said on May 14, 2008....
Dancing is life! :-) Shake what your momma gave ya Ed... hehe
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pickersplock said on May 14, 2008....
Ah, that was my number one goal, when I taught beginning modern dance, ed.To teach people not to be so self concious!Being the nut that I am, I was very good at it, if I do say so myself! -
Expendable said on May 14, 2008....
Sometimes you have to dance because people are looking. -
Sunshine_Mariah said on May 14, 2008....
Pickers... you teach dance too? :-) That's so neat! I'm amazed to find someone who teaches dance, like myself. But I do know what you mean about teaching people not to be so self concious... It's quite the challenge for some. -
pickersplock said on May 14, 2008....
Yes, right now I just work with the developmentally disabled, because it's during the day. But when I used to teach nights, I loved the beginning adult classes! -
skald said on May 14, 2008....
you are so right, No one is looking so you better just go on the floor and have fun. My husband never was a good dancer but when he and that is very seldom dances he has such fun and that is the aim of it anyway. At least the fun to move with the music. -
wombat said on May 14, 2008....
Good for you! I used to love to go out dancing, but seldom get the chance nowdays. Mr. W specifically told me that's one thing I should never ask him to do! So I dance with other men when I get the chance! He danced with me one time in 9 years--right close to our table and only part of a slow song! But at home he will ocassionally dance around the kitchen with me! I have told him the same thing--that no one is looking at him! -
MommaSue said on May 14, 2008....
I seem to be able to dance with only 2 people. My daddy and my hubby.
In fact, hubby and I were dancing to an old rock and roll song being sung karaoke style at the local tavern recently. We were the only ones on the floor. After the song, everybody was clapping and the DJ said, "Give it up for the Hideaway Dancers!" What great fun that was!
I think the key to dancing is just to enjoy yourself. Nobody seems to notice that your feet are stumbling when your face is smiling!
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Mr_Box said on May 14, 2008....
I like dancing. I'm not particularly good at it. I don't know any actual dance moves. I just do what feels natural. Even if I look like a total moron.Usually if I'm dancing it means I've had a few drinks. So I'm not that worried how dumb I might look at that point.And the company I keep isn't filled with cast members to Dancing with the Stars. They're just as bad as me! -
silverwhisper said on May 14, 2008....
quietone: oddly enough, i'd quite forgotten that this is a saying when i wrote this blog entry--weird, huh? and lately i find i don't care if we're the first couple on the floor, to be honest--it takes 2 people to create a trend, IMX: the first, and the first person to say, "hey, that seems like a good idea", you know?
sis: i always do--now!
diabolic: you're much too kind, you know. i'm just glad that few people are looking at me when i dance. :>
twyla: oo, step dancing is definitely big on the coordination, no question--hell, had that been my introduction to dancing, i'd still be hiding with the rest of the wallflowers!
cayenneman: bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! perfect clip! :D
infernal: why thank you! i've resolved that i won't care as much about other people's opinions going forward. b/c ultimately, other people's opinions carry only as much weight as i choose to accord them. :>
u-i: i've met very, very few people who really have any basis in reality for thinking that they dance poorly. and to be honest, you don't strike me as one of 'em.
battycat: well, stop being so self-conscious! [trout-smack!]
mimi: i remember that blog entry, mimi, and i was thrilled to read it, to be honest! if we were at a function where there was dancing, i'd definitely ask you to dance, my friend. :>
SR: i've never been a big fan of most forms of dance as it's something i don't do well--again, i'm not much of a dancer. but i'm realizing that i'm old enough now that i don't give a good gorram about other people's opinions, by & large. :>
CW: bah, i've seen you write. you have a better sense for rhythm than most, i daresay!
mariah: you know, it was quite the revelation when my wife told me that dance is about the hips!
pickers: ah right, i imagine that must've been the issue for most people! and yeah, i can totally see you as a dance instructor now. :>
ex: that's quite profound, actually. well said, ex!
skald: exactly! it took me a long time to understand that, sadly--i could just kick myself for all the dancing i missed out on when i was less sure of myself!
wombat: apparently that message takes a very, very long to sink in: the mrs has been telling me this for nearly 2 decades!
mommasue: hi there, welcome to my blog and thanks for visiting! i completely agree with you in every particular!
jack: yeah, i'm not particularly good at it myself, but i'm finding that even without the aid of alcohol, i'll dance now. and meh, i refuse to look at celebrities dancing--those guys have a lot more opportunities to learn how to dance properly!
ed -
fearing said on May 14, 2008....
I bet you'd be as much of a hoot on the dance floor as in real life. ;-) -
silverwhisper said on May 14, 2008....
well, you're assuming i'm a hoot IRL, fearing... :>
good to see you again, fearing! i've missed seeing you. :>
ed -
soaringraven said on May 14, 2008....
Let's Twist Againsoaring
I seem to have done it again. Feel free to dislodge the extra post from your comment string.
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fearing said on May 14, 2008....
Ed, how could you possibly not be a hoot IRL? Do you doubt your own hoot-ness?
And thanks, I've missed seeing you too. I was certain, for the briefest moment, that "Happy Tuesday" post was my inspiration. lol!
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silverwhisper said on May 14, 2008....
soaringraven: bah, it's all good. :>
fearing: yep, i'm always worried about that! :>
ed -
the_infernal_optimist said on May 14, 2008....
Fear not your nonexistent dearth of hoot-ness, ed. :-D
~Infernal
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silverwhisper said on May 14, 2008....
:D
ed -
sweet_cookie01 said on May 15, 2008....
you dont need to be a good dancer to dance, whats important is that you know how to enjoy!!! -
starlightstarbright said on May 15, 2008....
To be honest, silver, I was once the same way many years ago when I was a child. But then there came a turning point in my life that absolutely transformed me. I had been taking dance lessons, and when I was asked to dance in front of my family, I got really shy and tried to hide what I thought to be my horrible dancing.However, I learned years later, after not being able to dance, I realized that life was too short and that I should dance. Who cares what other people think? As long as you enjoy yourself, that's all that matters.In high school I attended just about every school dance, and if I can brag a little bit, I can really put a cut in the rug! = ) -
silverwhisper said on May 15, 2008....
sweet cookie: see, it took me a very long time to grasp that!
starlight: see, i've long advocated not caring so much about what others think, but it took a long way to translate into being comfortable about dancing. it's strange that it took so long for that to happen, if you ask me!
ed -
Alyss said on May 15, 2008....
I rarely dance and even more rarely do I do so in public. I am just too self conscious. -
TinSoldier said on May 15, 2008....
I wasn't going to post because I don't like dancing much. Bad flashbacks to junior high and all that.
Although when it was good, it was good, no matter what it looked like to onlookers.
But thinking about this post made me think of this:
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silverwhisper said on May 18, 2008....
alyss: but that's just it--nobody is really looking at you! free yourself to express some of the beauty within you, i say.
TS: ah, it took until i heard the first chords that i realized that i did indeed know this tune. :> and yeah, it certainly is appropriate!
ed
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