The remaining few weeks before the wedding were the most stressful we had experienced in our lives together to that point. G had started to drink every night and still would not tell me the reason that he lost his job at the hotel and for the life of me, i couldn't fathom it. The business i was running lost one it's biggest clients and we were rapidly tumbling into a world of debt; yet the slightest touch of his hand on my skin or look of love that i recieved from him, was still enough to get me through and make me realise how much i adored him.

 

July finally came, in the year 2000, we were half way through the first year of the new millenium and the weekend before the wedding was blazingly hot, the sun shone bright and high in the sky, giving us hope that the following weekend would also be glorious. G had finally managed to secure another chef's position in a local pub to start after we were back from our honeymoon, it wasnt as well paid, but the hours were a little shorter and he reassured me that it meant we could spend more time together. i think i smiled then, for the first time in what felt like the longest few weeks of my life. On the saturday night, G had his stag night and i was also going out with the girls. The chief bridesmaid, my best friend in the whole world had arranged a night of drinking, clubbing and general misbehaviour which i was so very much looking forward to.

 

As G and i were dressing to prepare for our night apart, he looked over at me with his deep blue eyes and as i caught his glance he offered a playful wink. Taking my hand, he sat me on the edge of the bed and once again dropped to his knees, holding my hands together and looking straight into my eyes. 'Do you remember the night i proposed to you babes?' he said. i smiled, how could i ever forget? 'i gave you a symbol of my love that night' he played with my engagement ring as he spoke 'and now i want to give you another'. He rose, lifted a small black box from the top shelf above us and opened it up in front of me. Inside was the most beautiful black velvet choker i had ever seen. i ran my fingers over it, loving the feel of it underneath my fingertips, very lightly gliding my touch over the small red rhinestone pendant that was elegantly attached by silver beading. i felt my eyes well up with tears as he removed it from the box and slipped it around my neck as i lowered my head and eyes. 'You know what this symbolises?' he asked, with tone of utter seriousness, 'yes Sir' i replied as he tilted my head towards him and kissed me very softly. Taking my hands in his he smiled lovingly and whispered 'you are mine, you always have been and i will love and protect you, as my wife and....as my submissive'. With that, he stood me up and patted my bottom...'come on girlie, you're gonna be late'. i wiped the tears of happiness from my eyes, and knew, without any uncertainty, where i belonged.

 

G and i were married the next weekend. Saturday July 15th, the height of summer; and it rained, all day. As i got in the car with my father to travel to the church, in a long ivory gown, i had slipped my collar under my garter, secured it in place and was feeling beautiful. The journey was very short but as i looked over at my father and smiled with happiness, he uttered the words that momentarily threw me off balance 'are you sure this is right' he said. i looked at him seriously and with questioning eyes...'sweetheart, i can leave the car running, right up until the point you say your vows, if you want me too'. He paused for breath and then continued 'i love you, you are my daughter, and all i have ever wanted is your happiness, but i have seen the changes....in you and in G...'. i blinked and regained my thoughts, laughing off his comments.

 

The day went without a hitch, G looked as handsome as he ever had in a black long-coated suit with deep ruby red waistcoat and we both floated through the day, not wanting it to end. It was about 1.30am when we finally said goodnight and headed to our room in the hotel. Carefully unzipping my dress and helping me to remove the pins from my hair so it curled around my shoulders, he looked at me, swaying a little from the drink he had consumed during the day and told me i as the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Laying me on the bed as he stood over me, i moved my hands towards the bust of the teddy i was wearing as the underwire had been slightly digging into my skin all day and was getting very uncomfortable. 'Leave it' he said softly. i told him i needed to 'readjust' for a minute and continued to try and move the wires away from my skin. 'I said....leave it'  he spoke with a more commanding voice and i immediately stopped what i was doing...'love, honour and....obey'. Running his hands over me, he pushed a little into my rib cage and i felt a sharp snap as the wire broke followed by the pain as it dug in further, and i started to protest. He pushed a little harder, and i physically cried out. Smiling, he popped open my suspenders, and slid his hands up to remove my panties. i wriggled on the bed, finding nothing sensuous about his actions at all and concentrating on the sharp stabbing pain from the underwire. i lifted my hand again to try and move it from my skin. He slapped my hand, hard, shocking me with the quickness and force of the blow 'I will not tell you again, to damn well leave it alone'. Tears  immediately sprung to my eyes as he looked at me coldly 'uhuh, now you're gonna cry....jesus'. He pulled me hard towards him, lifted my legs and in a swift motion, he was on top of me, and inside me. Closing my eyes and trying not to concentrate on the pain in my ribs as his body pressed down hard on mine, i tried to find something loving in the way he took me that night, i tried to remind myself of the beautiful day we had just had. i so badly wanted him to love me as his wife, and not use me, as he was doing right now. Afterwards he kissed me lovingly, gently helped me to remove the teddy and as i looked down, i noticed a small trail of blood had seeped through the material. The wire had finally slipped out and had pierced my skin. Kissing the small puncture hole, he smiled and whispered 'go get cleaned up babes'. When i returned from the bathroom, he has passed out on the bed, i shifted his heavy body over as much as i could and climbed in, turning from him and drifting into an uncomfortable nights sleep. We never spoke of it again.

 

Over the course of the next year, G started to work longer and longer hours in his new job. i often wondered why a pub chef needed to work a 60 hour week, but he said he was helping to build up the business for the owners of the pub and he wanted us to run our own one day. The thought of running a pub was not appealing to me, but if he wanted to try it, then i would certainly help him with that. Our sex life, although still good, got a little rougher and sometimes it was a huge turn on to have him use me, as his, and sometimes, i knew that he was drifting into laziness. The D/s / BDSM element became less and less frequent as his drinking habits escalated. i still trusted him, and he still never abused the limits that we had set out a year earlier and yet something had changed. When he bound me, he would leave me there for longer and longer periods after sex had finished, naked, often cold and cuffed to the bed. To start with it was quite amusing to playfully beg him for release but that feeling soon subsided with the looks he would give me and the words 'you will be released, when i decide to release you' often disappearing downstairs to make himself a drink and not returning for 20 to 30 minutes.

 

One day, after a particularly good night with G, i had finished work early and decided to stop by the pub on the way home. Well, actually it was several miles out of my way, but i thought it would be a nice surprise for him if we could have a few minutes together before his shift started. i entered the pub and headed for the kitchen, looking around for him, it was quiet, not quite opening time and the time where he would usually be prepping for a nights service. G was nowhere to be found. Taking a seat at the bar and hooking my legs around the stool, i lit a cigarette and quietly waited, assuming he would be here shortly, after all, his car was in the carpark, so he couldnt have gone far. i didnt have to wait for long. Glancing out of the window, i saw him coming from the flat across the road from the pub. A swing in his step as he bound through the door. His eyes glazed over for a minute as he saw me, momentarily distracted by my unexpected presence, before breaking into a smile and walking across the bar to kiss me. 'i've just been helping a friend fix their television' he said lightly, 'but you know me, i'm no Jim'll Fix It'. A few minutes later, i saw the pub waitress walk out of the same flat and head for the bar, walking through the door, smiling sweetly at myself and G, she headed for the kitchen. i felt my heart sink.