Myriad of thoughts brood in my mind...no matter how I wish they'd go away...they are like opiates...I can not resist them...they are garbed in seduction appealing to my most carnal desire...
And in the nights when my body asked for a much-needed break, they continue to haunt me and I mumble them even as I sleep.
These thoughts as primordial as the world, are insatiable. They choose their victims or the victims choose them.
Yes, it is my arrogance that engendered these thoughts. My arrogance that my life has a higher purpose or reason other than my 'being'. But is there really?
This question has lingered through centuries ever since man became conscious of his existence. But even up to now, no answer has satisfied me...they seem shallow if not ecclesiastical.
Am I here for a reason? Is everybody here for a reason? When I look around me, I know the glaring answer is NO. Nobody deserves to be alive and lead a life of mediocrity. But there are too many who live far less than mediocrity. Tell me if there is a noble reason for such.
Maybe I have to concede to the fact that I am here and that should be enough. I owe it to myself to live the kind of life I think I can have with my repository of talents, skills and knowledge. Lest I forget, I too have a beauty. But beauty ends when intellect begins. I know more than I should and know less than I want.
My existence is part of the universal components. What is my role in it? Maybe too little, maybe too big, or maybe just enough. But I don't know what it is yet. Maybe it will take a lifetime to discern it, experiences make us verify the truth and only then that we are enlightened. But when it does reveal itself to me, I shall stop talking for then, I have said what I had to and needed to. And that should be enough to treasure a lifetime.



