is bad to get mad? Can't a person get mad and angry coz some other person made a booboo, a mistake, or a folly?
Can I not shout and say NO, dont' do that?
Should I always be calm and composed? Is it such a sin to scold someone coz they didn't do what they were supposed to? Can I not scold my children and their cousins coz they're being brats? Am I not allowed, even if just to correct them?
Why do I always have to be the wicked person? Why do I always have to be the one who sees their faults and tries to correct them? Why do I have to be the bad person?
My daughter said to me.. "Mommy don't be mad, Don't shout anymore... If you keep that up, Jesus will stop loving you coz ur bad already!" that really got to me.. Not because she said that Jesus won't love me anymore.. but because she thought that I was a bad person. I said am I that bad? that I get mad because they were being naughty and refusing to follow their Lola (grandmother) and when you try to talk to them, they wouldn't mind you and pretends they don't hear you? When you shout, mostly really to get their attention. they would sometimes cover their ears.
I can't even say bad words to let the steam out. Coz if they hear it from you, they'll think it's ok and if you scold them.. what would they say? that you yourself say those words?
Is there anyway to win in this type of situation????
chaime posted on Aug 11, 2006
| views: 267
Comments
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DoYouCare said on Aug 11, 2006....
It is just a matter of explanation. Children always return to us whatever we teach so we better teach them straight to the point. Where do they get the idea that Jesus will stop loving you coz your bad, surely one of the oldies. If not you :) one of the oldies in your home or outside. In one of your cool moments explain the real nature of Jesus, the He is not that shallow and shouting or raising your voice does not mean you are bad. It is merely calling their attention. The problem with us adult is that we explain things to our children when we are already angry. That doesn't get to them and don't teach as if tall stories are true. You will be amazed how rhey easily children understand things if you are straightforward. I too avoided swearing in front of children. You can be angry but do not sin. Shout but do not swear. Teach when you're cool not hot. :)) Sorry, don't mean to preach. hehehe -
chaime said on Aug 11, 2006....
it's ok, that's not preaching just advice. that is actually one of my problems since I really have a bad temper. I easily get ticked off...Hmmm... Let me try it your way one time.... Thanks :) -
pinkjellybeans said on Aug 14, 2006....
My daughter came to me yesterday morning and said to me, "Mummy, don't shout and make me cry but...". She then proceeded to tell me she had done something very bad!! I had the right to reprimand her for what she had done - although I didn't as I was too shocked! - but it got me thinking whether she thought I was a bad mother, whether she thinks I shout at her and make her cry a lot. I really don't as I don't believe it ever helps a situation... but still; it bothered me. These little people in our lives have the ability to really pull on our heartstrings without even realizing it! PinkJellyBeans -
FriendsForever said on Aug 15, 2006....
you got it pinkjellybeans sometimes kids stuck me to the walls coz when i thought i was doing just fine, it was shocking to them. we seem to be walking on strings. -
chaime said on Aug 16, 2006....
there's a saying here that goes [quote]"kung anong ginagawa ng matanda siyang gagawin ng bata"[/quote], it simply means that what the adults do, the children wil also do it. It's sometimes hard to keep your perspective. You want to do the right thing so your child doens't end up in jail or in some mental institution but the thing, no one is perfect and no matter what we do, what we try, we end up making some mistakes (not all the time though) but it's the children who notices it and calls your attention to it..and you got yourself a hell of a time trying to explain the situation to them.... -
chingform said on Aug 19, 2006....
wow this is where i shd pops in often..chaime, before i have my own kids.. to learn from each of you.. :) cheers!!
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chaime said on Sep 13, 2006....
hahaha..chingform.... i guess you should.. learn from our mistakes... hahahaha....
But in all honesty, i think the best way for you to learn is to experience it ;) hahahahaha....
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