I know my friends are going to be pissed, but the timing sucks, and I really didn't think I could manage to be "on" tonight. It was a blind date, although I've seen pictures of the little hottie, and truly, I am missing out.
The thing is, my mind is all over the place. Yesterday, I would have been married for 16 years. I've kept myself pretty well distracted between giving finals and trying to finish a presentation, but, during the quiet moments, I feel as though I could easily dissolve into tears.
Aside from my beloved ex-husband, the other man who holds my heart is headed back to his homeland. He'll return again when his work there is finished, but he and I have no commitment. He has made it clear that he would like me to enjoy my life. This was always our understanding with one another.
I've tried to explain all of this to my well-intentioned buddies, but they still seem determined to sell me off to the highest bidder. A few months ago, one of them even placed an ad in my behalf! I have dated a bit through an internet site, but I am already in love with two men. Are we thinking, third one's a charm?
I am thinking I need a little more time to heal.
The sad part is, a lot of effort went into making me beautiful tonight - hair, makeup, new outfit ... and instead, I am here sitting at the computer dodging calls from the matchmaker. The potential match was not surprised I cancelled. He said he had a feeling I would ... was it something he heard, or is he just a pessimist?
In any event, plans now include a little Chinese takeout and a heavy dose of self-pity. Anyone like to join me?
