Alright, I'm not a chatty phone person. I can do it with certain people, and I'm not phone-phobic by any stretch, but I get nervous calling someone for the first time and stuff like that, and I always feel like I'm boring on the phone (plus, my voice can be hard to understand and I loathe repeating myself).
I do call my parents and grandparents at least once every week and a half or so these days, because I've (almost) always been a "good kid" and I do like hearing about how they are and what they're doing.
But holy crap...would it kill my mom to only do ONE THING for ten minutes? I cannot stand when I take the time and effort to call someone just to talk and they want to do everything in the world except pay attention the conversation. I can't hold up both ends by myself; I've never been a "could carry on a conversation with a blank white wall" person!
I even asked, "Is now a bad time? Should I call you back later or tomorrow or something?" and was assured that she hadn't been doing anything important. So why can't this nothing important wait then??
[much Infernal growling]
Does this tick you off, too, or am I the only one who actually drops everything else to talk when the phone rings? Is it too much to ask that we humans give each other one-on-one attention at times?
I mean, yes, there's a chance you'll be talking to me and then hear, "[Little one], don't hit your brother with that spoon!" or "No, don't eat that!" after which I will apologize to the caller and, if necessary, arrange to call them back later. But I never type at my computer or anything while trying to talk to somebody. :-p And it's not that she's just multitasking. There are clear lapses in the conversation when her mind is elsewhere.
Maybe I'm just a relic of an earlier time. Or maybe my mother is just plain rude. And people wonder why I don't like the phone!
the_infernal_optimist posted on Apr 30, 2008
| views: 164
Comments
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Lucytorial said on Apr 30, 2008....
My father he is like talking to a fucking stone (another coin for the swear jar) its really bad, he answers in one syllable answers... there is no conversation I get so frustrated... well not lately he can go F himself, I haven't spoken to him in months, not that he calls me EVER. -
uniquely-ironic said on Apr 30, 2008....
I'm sometimes guilty of multi tasking while on the phone.Usually I'm good about just sitting or whatever while I talk so that I can focus on the conversation. I don't usually have long conversations, but they're usually uninterrupted.Occaisionally someone will call me and I'll be in the middle of something that I can't put down. In that case I at least tell them what I'm doing and why.I have now and then "caught" my kids watching TV or playing video games while talking to me on the phone. The dead give away being when I ask them a nonsense question and they answer "yes". -
Lucytorial said on Apr 30, 2008....
tee hehee I can't multi task although when on the phone to my sister we are both guilty of going to the toilet for a wee..... **giggle** but my mom talks and talks my dads just dead air.
I'd be like "well listen, you aren't focusing I'll call another day or maybe you can call me when you want to talk bye!"
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moonriver said on Apr 30, 2008....
For me, it depends on what type of phone call.
At work, my phone usage is like that of a battalion commander on CP radio directing combat operations amidst hellfire. I have no time for courtesies like, "Is this a bad time for me to call? Are the baddie bullets distracting our nice chat today?"
For personal calls, yes, I drop everything else and focus on the conversation. Except when baddie bullets distract me too much haha.
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diabolicdame said on Apr 30, 2008....
Ok I'll admit I'm guilty of multi tasking whole on the phone sometimes. And people really see through because I stop paying attention to them altogether! But even so I hate it when people do it to me! Especially when I'm feeling chatty. There have been times when my bf has called me on international charges only to drift off into his video game and go all mono-syllabic on me! Who does that? Who spends so much freakin money to not pay attention? He got a good earful from me for that!! -
Lucytorial said on Apr 30, 2008....
DB thats soo funny I can imagine you going off, becoming yourself nonsensical in that infuriated way te hehehe -
diabolicdame said on Apr 30, 2008....
Oh yes Lucy I totally became nonsensical! lol.. I was just so pissed off.. I mean if it was just him not paying attention it would have been still ok.. but to be paying exorbitantly for it? And then choose to play 'Grand theft auto'?? How stupid, right? I just totally yelled myself hoarse!! -
skald said on Apr 30, 2008....
I know the kind of conversations where there are too many silences. I don't like that . I can't say I have experienced it lately.
Then on the other hand I have friends that would call me when I had a full house of children. mum here too and I was cooking. These friends had no obligations them selfs and did not understand. These good friends would also phone when my favorite film or program was on TV because they never had interest for anything them self. I know you are not talking about any of this. I´m just ranting. But I do understand how you feel. Since your mum is not doing anything important she could talk to you. After all it should be important. (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))
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Mr_Box said on Apr 30, 2008....
It irks me too when people do that. I have a friend who will actually call me, and then he spends most of the conversation yelling at his dogs or talking to his girlfriend, while I'm just sitting there.It drives me crazy. Especially since he called me! If it was a bad time to talk, then don't pick up the phone, dude.There's nothing worse than being in the middle of speaking when the other person starts shouting into the phone at someone else. Then they tell you sorry and proceed to do it over and over again.Another thing I hate is when people eat or watch TV or go to the bathroom while talking on the phone. I had a friend flush the toilet when I was talking to him and I was totally disgusted to learn he was in the bathroom the whole time!Some people are just not good phone conversationalists. -
sweet_cookie01 said on May 01, 2008....
there are times when it gets too annoying... it feels like you are being neglected.I once had a conversation with a friend, he was talking with someone else. And it was confusing if he was talking to me or to the other person. I got so irritated that I puf the phone down even if he was still online. I dont think he will remember if i said goodbye or not. -
evil_twin said on May 01, 2008....
I'm not much of a phone talker, as I've already told you. But part of the reason I hate the phone so much is because of things like this! I hate feeling like the other person is distracted or not really interested in what I'm saying. If I can tell they're watching TV or talking to someone else the entire time, I just want to hang up.
My parents do this to me all the time. My mom will call me and start talking, then my dad is in the background telling her to say something to me. And then she's like, "I don't want to ask him that...." and they sit there discussing me and what my dad wants to say, and it turns into a conversation between them, while I'm just sitting there. It drives me crazy!
Another thing that my mom always does to me is that she'll call me while she's watching TV and then proceed to tell me everything that's happening on screen, even if I don't watch the show and have no idea what she's talking about. She was giving me a play by play of Desperate Housewives once, and I had no idea who the characters were. And I started to wonder why the hell she called me if her show was on! And when I asked if she wanted to go and watch it, she said, "no, it's okay." Gah!
-evil_twin LA
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vacantmind said on May 01, 2008....
I have a long time friend that I don't call anymore because of this very thing. Each time I would call she would constantly be doing something that made it impossible to have a conversation. Then, I felt like I was just calling up to listen to the chaos in her house. What pizza they were going to order, who was going to do the laundry, who has taking care of the animals, etc. We couldn't have a one on one conversation. I still talk to her...through email or in person but, the phone just irks me.
I am alot like you in the fact that I get nervous calling someone for the first time and there is some people that I love and adore but I still get nervous calling them up once in awhile. I can have great conversations with people willing to talk but, if it is one sided...we are going to have dead air.
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silverwhisper said on May 02, 2008....
i too kinda resent it when people multitask on the phone sometimes. some people are good at multi-tasking: i however am not, so i find it irksome when the other person on the phone is doing other things too sometimes. usually though, it really only irks me when we're trying to have a substantive talk--i understand that sometimes, it's just a temporary thing.
heh...i'm a big fan of asking if now is a good time or not myself. :>
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Fire-flower said on May 02, 2008....
Infernal, I agree with you - nothing more annoying than speaking to someone who is semi-distracted. But even worse, for me, is having lunch, or whatever, with someone, and they spend the entire time taking calls on their mobile, or texting. WTF? I think this is just plain rude. If you want to talk to me, don't do a half-assed job - either pay attention, or say you have other things to do.... . Take care -
queenparanoia said on May 02, 2008....
my mother do thistoo!!!and it really irratates me!!! i hate it cuz i feel like she's not listening to me.
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