• skald said on Apr 29, 2008....

  I can understand you anger at your father in law this was very uncivil of him. You also sound a bit disappointed at life at the time. I think this will get better for you. Seems to me that you are tired and need some rest. (((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....

  skald - I do feel as if I need a small vacation from my life.

• diabolicdame said on Apr 29, 2008....

  Bummer! I have found that I for one am always disappointed on my birthdays! So much so that I have now stopped expecting it to be special. But men are generally not good at gifts and such things. Not nearly as good as women. So in his defense, maybe he really thought he was doing enough and maybe he actually did try his best. Who knows! But I got nothing to say in his dad's defense! Nothing at all! He surely deserves all the kicking in the nut you've been giving him in your mind the past three days. Why don't you do something to pamper yourself a little? It might make you feel better.
  

• the_infernal_optimist said on Apr 29, 2008....

  I'm with dia on this. ((hugs)), Leafy! Your birthday should be special, but some people (like my DH) view it as just another day on the calendar and do the bare minimum most of the time. It's not that they don't care, but it's that they just don't get it.
  
  The fact that he's spending less and less effort, though, would irk me a bit too if I noticed. And you had to put up with enough shit as it was! His dad would have gotten an earful from me (though Bill would have been first, with that "really good" dinner remark...maybe next time he should cook if he doesn't think what you'd do would be up to par? :-p)! Grrrrr.
  
  I'm a big birthday-celebration type of person. I'm sorry your b-day didn't live up to your expectations! Maybe next year I can come kidnap you for the day and you can hang out with me and my kiddos? ;-) We'll have ice cream cake and presents and something fun to do!
  
  ~Infernal
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....

  DD - I get that men don't understand the birthday thing.  I guess I was disappointed because he had promised me indoor skydiving and I got flowers.
   
  TIO - I told Bill that if this is how dependable his dad is going to be, next time he gets hamburger helper.  Period.

• dailyachesandpains said on Apr 29, 2008....

  Oh dear!  I'm SO very sorry!!!
  What did he use the rest of the money for?
   
  If his dad actually comes another time, unwind a can of spam for him!  Dinner's done, hope he enjoys it!
   
  {{{HUGS}}}
  Daily

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....

  daily - I'd sure like to know what he spent it on!  Yes, his dad is definately not worthy of any further efforts until he grovels a little.

• secretlife said on Apr 29, 2008....

  i was hoping maybe he whisked you away for a few days ....of course i'm the hopeless romantic.

  my husband is crappy at buying any gift.  c'mon ui, i got a space heater for valentine's day a year ago!  lol...you can make yourself nuts, or decide to make it a little less stressful on yourself when it comes time to pick out his birthday gift next year.  i took alot of pressure off myself when i stopped worrying about buying him the perfect gift....

  your father in law?  well that was just really bad of him.  how unthoughtful.  i'd make sure your husband knows that the next time he's invited for dinner, he gets to eat whatever you're having-  if you're making grilled cheese, he's gonna have to eat grilled cheese.  i would make sure that escapade never happens again.

  the only way is up for the rest of the week!!!

   

   

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....

  SL - I think part of my birthday gift neurosis is that my ex was spectacularly horrible about it. (shoe rack for christmas was his crowning glory)  Bill nearly will pitch an 8 year old fit if he feels I didn't bust my brain cells for his birthday.  It's terribly lopsided. 
   
  Yup, his dad is going to be treated to the best meal that no effort can provide.

• secretlife said on Apr 29, 2008....

  yes, and if you point out to him how lopsided it is, and he can't see it?  it's like talking to the wall-  after a few times where you don't go nuts, he'll get a very good message......sometimes you know, actions speak louder than words. 

  these are just gifts after all...

  and you can just tell him what i tell mine-  it's better to give than receive, right? *smiles*

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....

  SL - after the mouth foaming, stomping and the red has left his face I'll be happy to tell him that and sit back with popcorn and soda to watch the second round.
   
  In all fairness there are some occaisions that he's spot on the money.  I guess I'm a little bitchy to expect consistency.

• wombat said on Apr 29, 2008....

  Well some of your birthday celebrations sound nice, but I know what you mean about the not a clue thing, also. And I would be fit to be tied if I was asked to cook something "better" than usual and then the guest of honor didn't show.
   
  The first year after we married, I threw a party, called the radio station to sing to my ex , made a cake....the whole nine yards.  The next week was my birthday and I got a husband home late from work, wondering why I hadn't cooked dinner.  No card, no party, not even a wilted rose.  I learned quick, grasshopper.....ha.
   
  But I still hope you had a nice day in spite of the glitches, and have a wonderful year!

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....

  wombat - Cooking is a sore spot with Bill and I anyways.  He says his mother was a wonderful cook (but I wouldn't know since she's never had us to her place) so he seems to think that all women just yearn to be tied to a stove.  Blech!!  His dad would be smart to avoid me for a couple of weeks or so.

• wombat said on Apr 29, 2008....

  That ex of mine enjoyed his mother's cooking so much he ate there most nights, even after I had cooked at home....but I digress...
   
  I got lucky this time around.  Mr. Wombat hates my "concoctions" and does most of his own cooking, and for me, too!  He thinks a "casserole" is a "concoction!"
  I said, "Fine!"  We have meat and potatoes...or he eats what he wants, and I eat what I want.
   
  And no guests.....

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....

  wombat - does Mr.Wombat have a brother? (that cooks)  I don't hate cooking, but I don't live to cook.

• wombat said on Apr 29, 2008....

  Sorry, no.  But, I know how lucky I am to have stumbled on this one!  He was up Sunday night tending to the two crock pots of beef stew he made!  The other day, he brought me a plate of meat and fries to my computer!  And then he came back with the bottle of ketchup!
   
  I shall not complain of little things like his rattling the potato chip bag.......ha....
  I shall not complain of little things....
  I shall not complain.....   (50 times in chalk......) 

• silverwhisper said on Apr 29, 2008....

  can i just smack bill w/ a big old smelly trout? seriously, i just don't get it!
  
  ed

• queenparanoia said on Apr 29, 2008....

  that was really shitty... what you're father in law did... well as long as bill remembered you're birthday right? =)
  

• CreativeWoman said on Apr 30, 2008....

  I completely understand about the father-in-law thing.  It is beyond irritating. These days I get all bristly every time I lay eyes on mine. Don't even get me started about my birthday.  My guy has no excuse.  His is five days before mine.  It should be fresh on his mind. I do understand how you feel.  Big  ((((hugs)))) for you.  I never thought about taking hostages though to get my demands heard.  :-)
  
  CW
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 30, 2008....

  SW - smack away!!  He richly deserves it.
   
  queenie - I suppose I'll eventually forgive Bill.  His birthday is in a few months and I will happily cut back on the celebration for him as well.  I'm cursed with an inhuman ability to hold onto revenge.
   
  CW - Sadly I don't think the hostage angle will yield the results I want. 

• CreativeWoman said on Apr 30, 2008....

  UI,
  I was only joking.  I know I shouldn't have made light of the situation.  Forgive me.
  
  CW
  

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 30, 2008....

  CW - nothing to forgive.  I know it's not real obvious, but my reply was my own really sick sense of humor.  One of my favorite jokes with my sister is about taking hostages and/or suffering fools. :)

• quietone said on Apr 30, 2008....

  well the nut doesn't fall far from the tree and like you said there is only one leaf left on the tree.  I do think that the FIL was very rude to be a no-show period.  And yes, next time he gets what he gets.  Men have to be reminded I think.. tell him again about the truffels.  Just be happy you have someone who cares enough to share your b'day with.. the rest is water under the bridge ~ but I am glad some parts were okay.

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 30, 2008....

  quietone - yes, I know I should be happy just that he remembered.  I guess I'm just a little bit more ambitious than that myself, so I make others suffer. :(

• quietone said on Apr 30, 2008....

  It is the those darn female emotions we have that make us act so!!  LOL  I used to get so upset if I didn't get a card..

• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 30, 2008....

  quietone - I'd like to think that both men and women like to be acknowledged on their special occaisions.  I realize women tend to put greater meaning into it.  Guys tend to just "bury" the hurt feelings.

• quietone said on Apr 30, 2008....

  I agree. 

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