This morning I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I can't say I was half asleep though, because I'd been up since 4 something, and this was about 7:30am. I ate the cereal and went about my day. And just a little bit ago, Nat asked me where the brand new milk container went. I had no idea. It should have been in the fridge where it belongs right? Unless a thief broke into our house and stole nothing but a gallon of milk.
But it wasn't in the fridge. It was gone. And I knew I didn't drink the entire thing because we just bought it yesterday. With a little detective work, we found it though. It was in the cabinet with the dishes. I put the milk in the cabinet! WTF was I thinking? And how come I don't remember doing that?
It's been pretty warm here lately too, so the milk was spoiled for sure. It'd been inside a hot cabinet all day long. In fact, the plastic container had actually sort of swelled up and looked like it might burst. Yuck. Chunky milk would have gone everywhere if it exploded. And it's all my fault we have no milk now.
Nat couldn't stop laughing at me though. She doesn't seem to care that I'm brain damaged. Which speaking of that, my head is pretty much all better now. The superglue has worn off and the cut looks fine. But I have another slight injury to report.
Work was rather slow today, so I was in casual mode again. I was wearing flip flops because it's hot and no one was gonna see me anyway. Well I was heating up my wonderful lunch of a frozen burrito in the microwave. I pulled it out and it was really super hot. And some of the bean filling leaked out and landed on my foot! I burned myself pretty good. First injury by cabinet, and now burrito? I'm not safe to go inside the break room anymore am I?
I did have an amusing conversation with my dad this morning though. He called me up to complain about some guy he had to work with. And he was trying to be all hip and cool, which always amuses me. But then he said something about how this guy Bruce thought he was all that and a bag of cheese. I couldn't stop laughing and almost choked on my coffee.
For those of you who might not be hip to the lingo like my dad apparently isn't, the phrase is supposed to be 'all that and a bag of CHIPS' Not cheese. Who has a bag of cheese anyway? I asked my dad what the hell that meant and he said he had no idea. He'd been watching too much TV again and apparently misheard the phrase. He didn't really understand what it meant the correct way either. He was just trying to be cool.
I gotta love my dad for that. He's the only one who made me laugh today. Not unless you count laughing at myself for putting milk in the cabinet. But I do think I might need to sleep someday. It's causing me to do stupid things like run into stuff and spill burrito on my foot and put milk in cabinets.
*sigh*
evil_twin posted on Apr 28, 2008
| views: 400
Comments
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allswell said on Apr 28, 2008....
lol...do you ever have a normal boring day? That's pretty funny thought! I hope your foot is ok...and yeah i agree, you sereously need to get some sleep! hugs~alls -
Eilan said on Apr 28, 2008....
Putting the milk in the cabinet? Sounds like something I would have done.
Speaking of brain damage, today I was getting ready to pick up a few things at the store and take my five-year-old to preschool and I was freaking out because I couldn't find my keys. They were in the last place I expected them to be: my hand. -
hinana said on Apr 28, 2008....
lol i always start to misplace things. most times i notice.i also have a habit of putting shampoo in the fridge when im putting away groceries. -
the_infernal_optimist said on Apr 28, 2008....
((hugs))
Ouch on the burrito burn! The milk in the cabinet is definitely a ditzy Infernal moment possibility around here. :-p
My mother-in-law couldn't find her glasses one day and we ended up locating them in the fridge. I'm not that bad, at least!
Your dad's misphrase cracked me up, too. :-D I think I'm going to say that from now on. Cheese is better than chips!
~Infernal
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dailyachesandpains said on Apr 28, 2008....
Did you stop taking that shit for medication yet? You're starting to sound like my friend that went through hell and back! Which, by the way, she is PERFECTLY FINE now! Can you even believe what no sleep can do to you? She was at the equivalent of being 11x's over the limit if she had been drinking. They did sleep deprivation/exhaustion tests on her! I didn't even know they could do that!!!!
I just put an empty bottle of green tea in the dishwasher the other day...we're messed up aren't we!?! I mean that in the nicest way possible! ;-)
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cntlvmenuf said on Apr 29, 2008....
Ha! Sometimes life happens to us....to remind us not to take ourselves too seriously. Human is to error.....right??? I hope you get some sleep soon...
(dammit SC...stop eating my comments!!!!)
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sweet_cookie01 said on Apr 29, 2008....
evil twin.. sleep deprivation is really bad... you better take care of yourself okay... by the way i find the milk thing funny... giggles... -
Fire-flower said on Apr 29, 2008....
Looking for my glasses when they are perched on my head is one of my things. I've done it so many times, you'd think I'd have learned. I blame age.....
Love misphrases - I'm latching on to your dad's version. One of my friends came up with 'mad as a snapper', and I've never been able to go back to 'mad as a hatter' again
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diabolicdame said on Apr 29, 2008....
Oh yes you need some sleep Mr!!
Actually I also sometime do somethings and have no memory of them later at all. Or atleast thats my story and I'm sticking to it!! ;-)
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evil_twin said on Apr 29, 2008....
alls--My foot is alright. There's a little red mark there, but I'll live. I do need some sleep...
Eilan--I've done that before the keys! I've looked everywhere and they're either in my hand or my pocket. I also often search for my sunglasses and realize they're already on my head too...
Infernal--You're all that and bag of cheese ;-) You know, I put an empty box of Pop Tarts in the refrigerator before. I have no idea why. It's funny the things people do when they're not paying attention!
Daily--I'm still taking the medication. I guess I need to figure out if this is what's making me not sleep. I see my doctor tomorrow afternoon and I'll mention it to her. I don't want to end up like your friend! But sleep deprivation really does mess you up severely...
cntlv--To err is in fact human, isn't it? I hope I get some sleep someday too.
cookie--I'm trying to take care of myself, but sleep eludes me. But the milk thing was sort of funny huh?
fire-flower--I think lots of people lose their glasses on top of their head. I've done that with my sunglasses a lot. I'm glad you like my dad's new catchphrase. It cracked me up!
diabolic--It's weird when you're so spacey that you do things you can't remember, huh? It's weird!
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Mr_Box said on Apr 29, 2008....
You really do need some sleep don't you? Milk in the cabinet?!The thing I always seem to do when I'm distracted is I'll throw stuff away that I shouldn't. Like once I had a plate and a napkin in my hand. And I tossed the plate in the trash and put the napkin in the sink.That thing that Dad said cracked me up. He's a doofus. All that and bag of cheese? I'm totally going to make fun of him for that. He never should have even said it the right way either!I hope you eventually feel better and stop accidentally hurting yourself and ruining milk. -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 29, 2008....
You seem to be having a bit of run of bad luck. I hope your foot is better. Did you turn it in as workplace injury? (just teasing)
A couple of days ago I was looking all over for my pen and ranting because I have a million of them and can never find just one when I need it. My husband said, "What about that one behind your ear?" I felt super dumb.
I hope you get some good sleep soon.
CW
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GrapeKoolaid said on Apr 29, 2008....
Explosive milk... That would have made a great agent in domestic terror, don't you think? Next time, leave it in your neighbor's mailbox. :)
I certainly hope you didn't brain your damage in the last few days...
A bag of cheese? Yogurt comes in a tube now, cough medicine in strips(you know, like the plastic film that dissolves on your tongue), so it's not that far fetched, I guess... After all, cheese does come in the form of a spray-can. :) It did make me chuckle, though. I give your pops mad points for effort, trying to pick up hipster lingo and what not. :)
Be careful out there, bro. The world's a dangerous place.
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evil_twin said on Apr 29, 2008....
Mr. Box--Dad is a bit of a doofus huh? He made me laugh! I've thrown dishes away before too, and put garbage in the sink. It's like your brain just switches things around for a second.
CW--No, I didn't turn it into a workers comp claim :-P My foot is alright. It's just a little sore red mark now. But it hurt at the time! I guess we all have those brain dead moments huh?
Grape--I guess there are bags of cheese, now that I think of it. Like shredded taco cheese. That comes in a bag. So apparently all the cool people are carrying around bags of shredded cheese now...but you do have to give my dad credit for trying.
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Zayda said on Apr 29, 2008....
Sleep deprivation can make you do some funny things. I've put a bag of Doritos in the refrigerator before. And my cell phone--although admittedly the cell phone incident was most likely because I couldn't manage to hold it and the stuff I was trying to remove from the fridge while also "juggling" an, at the time, 4 year old who was begging for a snack of something just before dinner.
An hour later after making and eating dinner, I found my cell phone sitting on the egg shelf when I went to put up leftovers. -
GrapeKoolaid said on Apr 29, 2008....
Shredded taco cheese in a bag... :D
I don't know why, but I find those combination of words funny... It just sounds funny, you know?
But is a bag of cheese really all that? :D
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quietone said on Apr 29, 2008....
awe, I wouldn't worry about misplacing the milk! I did that once when I was having cheese and crackers.. I put the cheese in my silverware drawer and found it there the next morning.. and I had never heard either expression on the cheese or the chips.. I think the cheese one sounds pretty good.. bag of cheese curds? LOL Hope your foot feels better soon.. Maybe we should look into a little coat of armor for you! -
uniquely-ironic said on Apr 29, 2008....
LOL at your dad's misstep with the phrase.I think you have a lot on your plate at the moment. There's more going on than a little sleep deprivation. (which can lead to this stuff) Seems more like you're so preoccupied with something that you're in auto pilot too often.Sorry, I don't have any solutions. I'm often the victim of this sort of thing myself, so if you figure it out, let me know. -
pickersplock said on Apr 29, 2008....
I hope you have a better night, ET! -
skald said on Apr 29, 2008....
lol Kyle. That is being absentminded. I once tried to put the vacuum cleaner into the fridge, it's cabinet is at the side of the fridge. -
wombat said on Apr 29, 2008....
Late here, but laughing--except the part about burning your foot! I once found my lost half-eaten banana in the linen closet....two days later. And I turned over a pan of bacon grease on my foot. It's fading now, but the scar looked like the map of Ireland and surrounding counterparts. Cool! Hope you had a better day today. (or whenever....what day is this?)
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evil_twin said on Apr 29, 2008....
zayda--Leaving your cell phone in the fridge is a good one! I've left my car keys in there before. I think I walked in from the store with drinks in my hand, along with my keys, and I just shoved it all in there!
Grape--I don't know if a bag of cheese is all that, but according to my dad, it is!
quietone--I don't think I can be trusted around anything these days. I'm a walking disaster! But my foot is okay. No permanent damage done this time. And that's pretty funny about he cheese in the drawer!
uniquely--You're probably right. There's a lot of junk in my head and I think I'm just spacing out. But a little more sleep might help too!
pickers--Me too!
skald--That would be hard to put the vacuum in the fridge! That's funny.
wombat--Burning your foot with bacon grease must have hurt a lot! Ouch! Luckily this wasn't quite as bad, but it still hurt. I'd crack up laughing if I found a half eaten banana in the linen closet...
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silverwhisper said on Apr 29, 2008....
kyle, have you considered taking a sleep aid? i'm almost positive this is something you've already considered and decided against cuz you're a pretty smart guy but i'd like to understand your thinking here. ?
ed -
queenparanoia said on Apr 29, 2008....
youre indeed a cute klutz!!! =) -
GEORGEBUSH said on May 02, 2008....
turn be a klutz into an asset
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