sweet_cookie01's tags:

I am going to tell you a situation and you tell me who do you think is at fault okay....

Denise (not her real name) is semi hubbys eldest child. She is turning 18 this coming May. She asked her dad for a debut gift. Instead of having a grand debut party she asked for a one month vacation in New York.

Semi hubby saved for this trip and made sure that he will be able to give the debut gift her daughter asked for.

Semi hubby's exwife is living in another country, London to be specific.

Knowing the mother will disagree on this and since semi hubby and exwife are not in good terms they forged some of ex wife's signature so that Denise could leave for new york. All papers are legal for her to leave, the only thing that was forged was the consent for her to travel alone from her mother.

Denise on the other hand knows about everything about the forgery of her mothers signature. And because she wanted so much to go to new york she didnt even tell her mother that she will be leaving for a vacation.

So Denise left last week for New York very happy indeed! And semi hubby felt so happy to because despite the financial difficulties he was able to give the gift that her daughter asked for. You see the 18th birthday is a very big deal here, usually grand big parties are held but Denise opted for a trip to new york.

Now ex wife called today and is very very furious. She is angry on how Denise was able to leave without her consent. She was also furious because she booked a two weeks vacation to Boracay. She demanded that semi hubby calls denise asks her to come back right away.

Semi hubby was furious too, saying she asked for this trip and has been begging for it for months now. You dont expect me to call her up and burst her bubbles. If she didnt tell you about it then you two are the ones who have to talk.

The way I see it Semi hubby and denise knows that ex wife will be mad once she finds out Denise left without her consent. But still they pushed through with their plans because they both wanted it badly. Isnt it obvious... Denise didnt even bother telling her mom about all this while they were processing her papers and packing for her trip.

It was unfortunate that exwife was making plans without checking if her daughter have other plans for her birthday. She was planning on surprising Denise by coming home to the Philippines and by bringing her to boracay for her birthday. She could have atleast snoop around a little right?

I wonder whats going to happen next... hmmm...

 



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Comments

  • skald said on Apr 28, 2008....
    I think Dennis can do what ever she wants without her mothers consent now since she is 18. You are so kind and good Sweetie. I hope there will not be unpleasantness for your semi husband and your family. ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))
  • evil_twin said on Apr 28, 2008....
    I think it's just an unfortunate case of no communication. If Denise didn't tell her mom she was going to NY, that's between them. And it's no one's fault that it interfered with the vacation she planned, since she didn't tell anyone she was planning it!

    A surprise is nice, but she should have at least told her daughter she was coming, therefore been able to find out if she'd even be in the country at the time. I think she's just angry that your semi-hubby gave his daughter what she really wanted, and her surprise didn't work out.

    -evil_twin LA


  • secretlife said on Apr 28, 2008....
    i don't know cookie-  the forgery of the consent really presents a problem for me-
     
    i think the daughter should have discussed w/her mother.  and i wouldn't have forged any signatures to make this trip happen-  i think that was asking for trouble.
  • sweet_cookie01 said on Apr 28, 2008....
    skald... she is turning 18 this coming may. they planned her to leave early so she can spend a month vacati0ning before classes starts this end of May. I hope so too.. i am doing my best to stir clear out of the way.
     
    evil twin... i think so too... well, its causing too much chaos now, even semi hubby's parent are in battle against the exwife now!
     
    secretlife... yeah, it wasnt right to forge someones signature, I understand where you are coming from. they knew it was calling for trouble the minute they forged ex wife's signature. I really think denise should have talked to her mom atleast. As a sign of respect... but then again they are not really that close... still not an excuse.
  • quietone said on Apr 28, 2008....
    Its too bad that both parents couldn't have talked civil and the birthday girl could have gotten to go on both trips.. and everyone wins.  I also think its a communication breakdown.  Well, I hope she is enjoying her trip to NY.
  • Eilan said on Apr 28, 2008....
    If my ex did something like this, I'd pursue legal action.  When our girls are older, I hope we're still getting along well enough that we can come to some sort of agreement on big-ticket items, milestone birthdays, etc.

    I understand wanting things badly, but I don't agree with breaking the law to get what you want.  Sets a potentially dangerous precedent, IMO.

    If she were already 18 it would be another matter entirely.
  • lidstrom82 said on Apr 28, 2008....
    With communication on all sides this bad, one doesn't have to wonder about the nature of the blended families here.

    If you do something against someone else's wishes, it'd be dumb not to expect consequences. I know with ex-spouses it gets muddled up, that's why all efforts must be made to avoid divorce in the first place. But the situation being what it is, what does it say to the daughter that her parents aren't even married anymore but STILL at odds because they were dishonest with each other? Plus, either she'll feel bad for being dishonest and it'll ruin her trip, or she'll ignore the fallout and enjoy her trip until she gets back.

    Either way, it's a bad thing, and both parents should be ashamed of their choices still affecting their daughter. Maybe the ex-wife needs to lighten up and let the daughter enjoy an adventure on her own - heck, many parents do that anyway when their child goes off to college. But forging her signature when consent was needed to leave the country? Hubby just set a bad example, even more so that the daughter was in on it.

    I would find it hard to trust someone with much of anything if I knew they went to such great lengths to be dishonest. It's hard to bless anyone when someone else suffers for it.
  • sweet_cookie01 said on Apr 28, 2008....
    UPADATE
     
    Denise arrives New York and father and daughter talked about what happened when ex wife called. Know what denise said?
     
    "Why was she mad? She's not talking to me anymore. The last time we talked she said that I go look for my own mother!"
     
    Now with a bad communication and relationship between mother and daughter I understand why she didnt bother to call her mom about her new york trip!
     
    Quietone... yup semi hubby and exwife are not in good terms, they tried to be civil but then they just cant seem to get along.
     
    eilan... being a mother, having a good communication with my daughter is important. i too wish that i keep my relationship with my daughter clear and strong till she grows up and is ready to make her own decisions.
     
    lidstrom82... it is really heart breaking when the kids are the ones to suffer.
  • queenparanoia said on Apr 28, 2008....
    talaga? she's not that close to her mother pala... besides it's her birthday... and i know debuts are a big deal. kaya kasalanan na ng mother yun.... tsaka naman... there's always next time di ba? ba't magagalit yung mother??? grabe bait naman pala ni semi hubby eh. wala na syang kasalanan nun. para naman sa anak nya di ba???? =)
  • sweet_cookie01 said on Apr 29, 2008....
    queen... oo nga eh kaya ngayon kahit anong tawag nung mommy eh hindi nya sinasagot... ayaw daw nya masira bakasyon nya. grabe ang hirap ni semi hubby ipunin yong round trip ticket at ung pocket money ng anak nya ano!
  • silverwhisper said on Apr 29, 2008....
    honestly, i have a problem with the signature-forging, too. i think that was a really bad idea, b/c the ex-wife didn't know what was going on. frankly, i think the blame rests squarely with him.

    ed
  • sweet_cookie01 said on Apr 29, 2008....
    ed... you think so? hmmm yeah it wasnt right that they forged her signature but then how will they be able to process her papers in time when she is in london and not in communication with her daughter. I am not justifying it though.
  • lidstrom82 said on Apr 29, 2008....
    The father and daughter have to share the blame...I mean, if she's old enough to step out on her own, she's certainly old enough to accept responsibility for being in on the deception. But the father was double-bad for making her a part of that in the first place. It's hard to fault the ex-wife for being angry; parents feel their children aren't ready for all sorts of things. They may be wrong, but this case is right at the time where the daughter isn't a legal dependent anymore, you know? Why not plan an alternate vacation that both ex-spouses can agree to, that doesn't involve lying or deception, or leaving her on her own in a foreign city, or forging signatures?

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