My mother is havint my dad "fix" the entire house for my brothers wedding coming up may 31st. Its too funny bc our house is beautiful.
Seriously. Its immaculant and my dad already remodeled the entire thing ten years ago. My mom insists he do more though.
They put a "fresh" coat of paint in everysingle room. 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, My dads Gun Room, Our laundry room, the living room, the dining room, the porch.
They also rewallpapered the kitchen and my dad painted the hallways too.
Well then there was "my" bathroom. The upstairs mainlevel bathroom that company would use.
Its a nice bathroom. We had a relatively new laminate floor, tile walls, new counter tops etc.
It wasnt good enough for my mother. She is 46ish and called the bathroom floor "Ghetto", weve been hanging around too much, im rubbing off on her.
So she instructed my dad to put a new tile floor in. He did.
Then she wanted him to recaulk the corners because they were "dingy". He did.
Then she needed a new toilet bc the one that was in there was "stained"...
ITS A TOILET! People shit in it. Its not gonna sparkle forever ma' seriously?
This toilet thing took longer than i wanted it to.
Im so used to wondering in the morning and peeing first thing when i get up.
Never failed, everymorning i walk into my bathroom drop my pants and try to sit on the toilet that wasnt there.
Well my dad was going to finally install the new one. My mom picked one out that was taller than the old one and some sort of plumbing tube didnt reach the top, it was too short.
So the toilet is just sitting there unusable until my dad gets this part for it.
Well i told u all that crap to tell u this : )
This morning i had to pee particularly bad...
Im usually half blinded in the morning and feel like a vampire coming out of a century long sleep...
I wander into the bathroom having to pee REALLY BAD!!!
I was doing the cross ur legs and squeeze waddle to the toilet.
Then i remembered i couldnt use it...
*omg what am i gonna do i cant make it all the way down stairs!*
So i stood in the bathtub and sat on the edge and put my feet on the corners of the tub against the wall and peed.
lol, everything was going smoothly, i hadnt peed on my self yet.
Then there was the matter of getting out of the tub and turning the shower on to wash it all down without stepping in the pee.
I grab on to the towel holder and lean back to swing my feet to the other side....
The towel holder breaks off of the wall and i smack myself with the corner of it full force right on the forehead.
I off course fall back and crack my head on the sparkly new porcelin shitter.
Mission was accomplished though. I didnt get any pee on me.
Now im left with a goose egg right smack in the middle of my forehead.
Its hurts. lol, but i think it was worth it : )
