• uniquely-ironic said on Apr 24, 2008....

  I agree that addiction is tough to break.  Food addiction is especially tough.  I know you've had issues with food, but are you sure you're a food addict?
   
  I only ask because I consider the fact that you're fairly fresh out of an abusive relationship and still adjusting to your new life.  You've had a lot of stressors to deal with and sometimes those will make a mild addiction a full blown one.
   
  Stress and unhappiness can cause other parts of your life to be out of balance and I believe you must have been unhappy with David on some level for a number of years.  Change, though in this case good change, is stressful.
   
  Give yourself some time.  I used to hate hearing that from people.  Mostly because I'm impatient.  But usually it was true.  With time and healing many things resolved on their own.

• Fallyn said on Apr 24, 2008....

  it's really hard to determine...but i think that healing inside leads to healing outside.....including with food issues.

   

  i may be wrong......i don't know....it's one of those seriously complicated issues.

• diabolicdame said on Apr 25, 2008....

  That was intense starchini. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have to fight against that which sustains you. But you have done well my friend. You would be an inspiration to many others who aren't strong enough. Have faith in yourself.. you can do this.

• ALIENated said on Apr 25, 2008....

  
  It is not so much quantity as it is quality. Go out and buy a copy of the
  South Beach Diet book. Some foods stick with you and some do
  not. I lost about 45 pounds a couple of years ago by eating right, and
  I was never hungry. It takes some will power, but not as much as you
  would think. I am currently down 20 to 25 pounds from that original 
  weight (45 was actually too much) with almost no effort except not
  eating too many carbs and staying away from mass quantities of 
  sugar. Some of that is habit. I now prefer diet Coke. Real Cokes taste
  like syrup. I once knew a guy who was pretty overweight. I went to
  lunch with him at a fast food place one day. He ordered a big salad of
  some sort and said he was on a diet. I thought he was on the right
  track. Then he ordered a double hamburger and fries with a real
  Coke. I guess in his mind eating a salad made it all diet food. By the
  way, he died not long ago. I doubt that he was 40 years old.
  
  You cannot stop eating, but you can avoid the food that is bad for
  you. Just learning the principles of the South Beach diet will help anyone
  to lose weight. There are other diets that are similar, but most of them
  have a gimick that might even be bad for you. Food can never be a
  reward or a salve for hurt feelings. Food has to be something that one
  does to stay alive and stay healthy. Plus, if one gets to be the right
  size and shape, there will be other things to do that will keep your
  mind occupied and be really healthy exercise (wink wink). Speaking of,
  exercise can be addictive as well. Start walking every day. As the
  weight falls off, throw in a little jogging. I was once really into jogging.
  Now I just walk my big black dog every chance I get.
  
  One last thing. It might be a good idea to visit the doctor and see if 
  there is a medical reason for weight gain. There are actually physical
  conditions that cause weight gain. I know because that is actually the
  reason we (my family) went on the South Beach diet -- the doctor 
  recommended it.
  
  

• starchini said on Apr 25, 2008....

  Oh yes unisue i have many "issues" other than food.  I did have it undercontrol before david.  However ive always had terrible food issues sense a very young age.  In the way an alcoholic binges when they are upset i would eat myself silly to forget what was upsetting me.  It was my way of dealing w the crap of life.  Just like an alcoholic.  Then David spun me out of control.  It got worse.  I gained 100lbs in less than a year and couldnt stop.  Tried tons of diets but when food was infront of me it didnt matter how badly i wanted to stick with the diet.  "one beer couldnt hurt".  "one incredibly large meal couldnt hurt".  Yes im positive im a food addict.  Some people are overweight just bc they make bad choices and simply over eat.  Others are overweight bc they use food as a drug.  Ive always been a binger but i never was a puker.  When id get upset or hurt or was feeling bad id binge.  When one asks themselves why they overeat and the answer is deeper than "cuz foods so yummy" thats a food addict.  Its not as bad and i have less of a problem with it when im happy.  I have good days and bad days.  On the bad days all i can think about is consuming a large stuffed crust peperoni pizza in one sitting with one of those 1 lb hershey bars...mmm...but when im happy i dont desire that.  These are symptoms of food addiction and yes i am a food addict (i read a book lol, so i know)...Yes david pulled my demons from the closet that i had underwraps but it had always been lurking.  U are right about that.

  Thank you diabolic : )...i just want to make other people understand.  Most dont.  I think its important to explain these thing bc so many think "just eat less, whats the problem?" and its so much more than that.

  Alien i appreciate ur input and comments very much but i get the feeling ur not quite understanding what im talking about.  Thats my fault.  The south beach diet wouldnt help a food addict.  To be honest, i should be a nutritionist.  I know an insane amount about how one "should" eat.  I know what is bad what is good i know how to eat healthy.  And its not even about will power.  Its about control.  A food addict loses control.  The healthiest most perfect foods can be infront of them, theyll eat it.  But theyll eat it until there heart is content not the stomache. Food addiction has nothing to do with hunger.  Its emotional eating.  Its the way that food makes us feel that is the problem...I have done the south beach diet by the way : )  Along with 300 others.  Im doing ok.  Ive had my surgery and i am on a balanced diet including all the food groups.  No gimmicks with me.  Im just relearning how to eat.  But i when im upset all i can think about is gorging myself until it doesnt matter. Thank you alien i appreciate ur sincerity : ) 

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