i'm having a temporary lull in sanity.
brought on by extreme coughing and a pounding head.
and crap keeps happening that i can't control
i give up trying to make this work.
i just give up. it's too hard.
and it's making everything worse.
every time i fall through....it makes it worse...and makes the distance between us that much more.
if it was ONLY that i was sick........that's one thing.....but EVERY single DAMN time i make plans with him SOMETHING happens.
he's losing faith in me....and it feels really crappy.
but i'm done trying....i've expended enough energy in that direction already.
i understand his point of view.......
but this is enough
i can't help it if i'm too far away.
and i'm tired of trying so hard to prove that i'm not a flake.
The page you were looking for no longer exists
Fallyn posted on Apr 22, 2008
| views: 329
Comments
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Me-Myself&I said on Apr 22, 2008....
This is only a test!at lest that is what i keep telling myself. :~(So, i wish you Peace and Strength also!Take care. ~see ya -
Fallyn said on Apr 22, 2008....
thanks memy. -
Lady_Emma said on Apr 22, 2008....
I find that if I have a few stiff drinks and pass out, I can get through anything! -
skald said on Apr 22, 2008....
((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) I wish I had something very good to say. Life sucks sometimes and maybe you need a rest. -
wombat said on Apr 22, 2008....
I'd say take care of yourself first, rest up--then take a fresh look at whatever else is going on around you. I know that sounds lame and easy--which it isn't (easy) but what can you fix while you are ill? Get well soon! -
vacantmind said on Apr 22, 2008....
I think that if he is the guy you want to share your life with...then he will understand the importance of taking care of yourself. You have alot of responsibility to just ignore your own needs. Get better and try again. If he backs away...then let him go. You need someone that understands life isn't what we plan...it never seems to go that way. -
purple said on Apr 22, 2008....
You are the most important person in your life. You are the only person that has stayed with you from birth and through thick and thin. Relationships come and go but you are always stuck with yourself. So treat yourself like royalty. Be strong. -
petitepapillon said on Apr 22, 2008....
Hey Fallyn, I don't know if you're talking about your boyfriend or husband since, well, I recently subscribed to your blog and have only read a couple entries.
Anyway, your situation kinda sounds like one I had with my boyfriend. He kept getting frustrated with me, thinking I was a flake, too and that I wasn't trying when what was really going on was me going through another bout of major depression.
I think you get to the point where you have to just start taking care of yourself first and not him. If he can't understand that you're dealing with stuff, whatever that stuff may be, then maybe he's not the one you should be with. Because honestly, you need someone who'll be there no matter what you are going through.
Maybe take some time off for yourself and then see where things take you with him. If he's not there or backs away, then just let him go.
I hope you feel better soon and I hope I didn't sound harsh and what have you.
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Lucytorial said on Apr 23, 2008....
come on over here luv and sit down, I've a nice wine, lots of time....
Its not all one way honey, maybe its you trying to get there and he could be trying to get to you.... if it was that important he would try too.
**hugs**
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I'mNotHungry said on Apr 23, 2008....
Ah, Fallyn, I just stopped by to give you a ((HUG)).
You've got a lot on your plate!
Why do you think he's losing faith in you? Plans get made and plans get cancelled. Things come up that can't be controlled. You are doing the best you can do right now and your best is all you can do.
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diabolicdame said on Apr 23, 2008....
Has it ever happened to you that you are desperately looking for something and you just cant find it but the minute you stop looking, it appears just under your nose?? 'Cause it happens with me all the time! Give yourself a break.. things usually have a way of working themselves out when you're least expecting it. :-)
((hug))
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Fallyn said on Apr 23, 2008....
lady emma.....thankyou for stopping by...well....can't drink with the medication i'm on now. and i can't get drunk anyway...i just get sick......but thanks for the advice!
skald...*grin* it does that doesn't it.....and yes...a rest i'd say so.
wombat.....well. exactly. hmmmph.
vacant......i think you're right. i can't keep chasing someone that won't be there for me.
purple.....awww, thankyou, i appreciate the advice.
petitepapillion.....well...he's neither really........hes my best friend who i've been dating.....it's actually pretty complicated. but right now he seems awfully selfish.
lucy.....well, exactly. i want to feel important.
not hungry. that's exactly true....my best is all i can do.
diabolic all the time.....and good to remember.
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starchini said on Apr 23, 2008....
Fallyn! Im a terrible blogger and havnt been keeping up with the people i love to read. Ive been very self absorbed and i need to do some reading and catch up with whats going on with you. I dont really know ur situation yet but i read everyones comments and i think that PURPLE hit the nail on the head!
Ur whats most important. Dont forget that! and dont take crap from no one!
xoxox
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Fallyn said on Apr 23, 2008....
star....no worries....my situation keeps changing....all the time one minute i'm well, then next im sick...... -
starchini said on Apr 23, 2008....
Well i hope u get well soon and stay that way for a long long time! -
Fallyn said on Apr 23, 2008....
ME TOO. *sigh* -
Lady_Emma said on Apr 23, 2008....
Yes, please get well, dear one! -
Fallyn said on Apr 24, 2008....
awww thankyou lady emma -
Lady_Emma said on Apr 24, 2008....
Don't mention it, dear!
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