we were here in washington, i was 7 months pregnant with my oldest daughter.
my ex comes in our apartment....we hadn't been together even a year at this point, and he is so serious and looks as though he's crying.

he grabs me and we go down to his car together......and we sit in the car listening to the radio......

he has the drivers side door open because he's smoking....so there is a constant beep beep beep beep beep because the key is in to have the radio on.......
and there isn't any music.
just a news announcer.....sounding shocked....i don't remember the details....i just remember how upset my ex was.

i'd never met his friends before......but they eventually became my best friends.
my future best friends robert and victor and roberts little sister went to that school.

my ex couldn't get anyone in littleton on the phone.
the lines were totally jammed.

he didn't reach anyone there for two days.
and then he found out that robert had dropped out of school 2 days before the shooting.......that victor was okay, and so was roberts little sister.
what a relief.

later, as i got to know robert.....we talked about the shooting.
and how it affected his life. ....i didn't know it but he was actually arrested as a participant before they learned it was only the two of them involved.
the reason?
the trench coat mafia.

the trench coat mafia was a bunch of misfits.......it wasn't an official title given to a club.
it was what the cheerleaders and jocks called the misfits.

they were mostly goths and skaters, the geeks and outsiders.

harris and klebold had at one point belonged to this unofficial club.....but were ostracized because of racist and nazi like behaviour.

the police in littleton still have roberts long black trench coat. .....as "evidence" they also have his entire work uniform when he was working at safeway. ....4 white dress shirts and 4 pairs of black pants.
why? who knows. ....

the local tv station even broadcast his photo and name to the public at one point as a suspect.......and this while he was still a minor.
they never retracted it......luckily no one really remembers he was once a suspect in this horrible thing.

but talking to him....it has affected him for the rest of his life.
his little sister was in a room next to the library when the shooting happened.
she was in the school when it was locked down and the teacher bled to death because the police were to slow going into the school after the shooting had stopped.

it also turns out my ex once gave eric harris a ride home once.

small insane world we live in isn't it?