Rather than getting closer to people here (on soulcast), I feel like I'm drifting away. It's not just on line either. I just feel more and more disconnected from life in general, and people in particular. I never should have come to the city. It's too big and impersonal. More and more transients are moving into the alleys. It seems like the dumpsters get searched 10 times a day. Graffiti covered over reappears a few weeks later or even sooner sometimes. School needs to start. The neighborhood kids are having more squabbles. They don't seem to have any parents. The wooden fence behind me gets broken down every few weeks, no matter how many times it is rebuilt. It borders a vacant lot. I have no idea why someone would want to go in there anyway. It's just a fenced off vacant lot with weeds and a few palm trees. Maybe it's their way of raging against the machine. I often wonder why the owner of the fence doesn't just put up a hidden camera and catch the culprits before spending money on building a new fence.
My health declines whenever I am too far from nature. Sometimes I feel like I have to choose between my health and being with my boyfriend. He is hellbent on staying in S. Calif. He may have to stay here without me. I'm losing it.
purple posted on Aug 10, 2006
| views: 225
Comments
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schreist said on Aug 10, 2006....
Hi purple, Did you move there for school? Nothing sucks more than being bored and waiting for something you really want to do to begin. -
purple said on Aug 11, 2006....
No, I moved here to be with him. -
schreist said on Aug 11, 2006....
I know this will sound rather cheesy, but... Only you can make choices for yourself. And it's essential that you listen to your intuition. Sacrificing your sense of wellbeing typically never ends well. :D -
hotaka said on Aug 12, 2006....
Ugh, I know what you mean about being away from nature. I was in Tokyo last Sunday and when I thought about all the events and clubs and bands and galleries and theatres and studios and... There is just too much going on in the city. Nature seems to release my spirit. I can enjoy simply watching ants cleaning out a fallen bird's egg or admire the colours in a sunlit pond. Nature is so busy on all scales but I am just an observer and, like they say, it's easy watching others work. In Japan, even during summer vacation the kids have to go to school for club activities. Saturday, Sunday, holidays, vacation periods, whenever, you can see kids in their school uniforms going to and from school. There is very little time to be bored. Most kids are just tired out from all the responsibilities. They also have cram school, summer school and many attend swimming lessons, piano lessons, English conversation schools, kendo classes, and a host of other things. Some also have summer jobs. Graffiti is not such a big problem and vandelism is very limited. -
purple said on Aug 13, 2006....
Next weekend I get to go back to where I used to live, if even for four days. I will be sitting under the oak trees for at least one of those days. I used to go every 3 months until it got too expensive. Now I just get to go 1 or two times a year. -
schreist said on Aug 13, 2006....
When you get to the tree, ask it what it thinks about your situation. I find that everything around me has thoughts and ideas, it's just a matter of listening :D
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