Recently I watched the documentary The Aristocrats on DVD and nearly laughed myself silly.  This is an entire documentary on just one joke, a joke known primarily in the underworld of comedy.  The basic joke itself is not really funny.  What makes it funny is the creativity, the vulgarity, and the enthusiasm of the person telling it. 

 

Here is a basic Aristocrat joke:  A guy walks into a talent agent office and announces he has a great idea for an act.  The man in the office tells him he is looking for new acts and would love to hear his idea.  The guy says: "My wife and I walk out on stage naked and she lays on her back while I take a dump on her face.  Then we both stand up and go ta-daaa."

The man says: "What the hell kind of an act is that!!!!???" and the guy replies:

 

"The Aristocrats!"  (meaning it is a dig on people who think they are better than everyone else, a snobby person, a smug person.) 

 

There are thousands if not millions of different versions of this terrible joke.  If you like crude humor watch The Aristocrats.  Be warned though the vulgarity is beyond any thing you have ever heard or could ever imagine, but in a sense that is the flavor of an Aristocrat joke.  Bob Saget and George Carlin tell probably the most disgusting and vulgar Aristocrat jokes known to man.

 

So make up your own Aristocrat joke.  Start with: "A guy walks into a talent agents office..." and end with "The Aristocrats!"  You fill in the middle.

 

Here is my Aristocrat joke:

 

A guy walks into a bar and sits down and picks up the drink menu.  He is pissed because his wife found out he was cheating on her and tossed him out of the house.  He is eager to get waisted.  While scanning down the menu he sees; "The Aristocrats, will blow you away!"

 

     "May I take your order sir?"  The waiter says.

     "Yes, give me the Aristocrats."

     "Well now sir before you order that let me just warn you..." the waiter starts to say before being rudely interrupted.

     "Look, I don't care how harsh it is or how bad it is just give me my order now!"

The waiter claps his hands and yells at the top of his lungs, "Aristocrats!  Table 7!"

 

At that point two large black men step out from back and grab the guy and throw him on the floor.  They then start and fuck him every way known.  They nail him in every opening of his body over and over.  They slap him in the face with their dicks and rub their nuts across his lips and eventually blow big loads of jizz all over him.

 

After it is over the man is back at his table breathing heavy with sweat and cum all of him.

     "Another order sir?"  The waiter asks.

     "Ya, Gin and Tonic and no more Aristocrats."

     The waiter yells, "Gin and Tonic!!! and he wants more Aristocrats table 7!!!!"