I am out of my routine - Sunday morning's at church services ... but I am just not feeling it. No one did or said anything to make me feel this way. It was sort of a gradual awakening. No matter what church I am in, part of it feels exclusionary, like there is only one path to God, and I can never quite align myself.
Each of us has a soul, and God is omnipresent and universal, so I am just not buying that there is only one way to get to Him. A while back, in the midst of my searching, I read a book by Deepak Chopra, Finding God. In it, Dr. Chopra brings forth this reminder that God is so infinite, we cannot possibly expect Him to be confined to one path, one dogma.
The problem is that things felt so much more secure when I could rest upon the security of my faith without questioning. Thinking deeply takes energy and courage, and right now, I am a little short on both. I just want to feel the comfort of something familiar.
So, instead of praying everyone else's prayers, listening to scripture and singing the same old songs, I will hang out on my meditation cushion and see if I can move a little closer to the light.
I wish this journey came with a better roadmap. I wish I could just fit in where I used to belong.
