• Expendable said on Apr 16, 2008....

  "If I can't have you," he screamed, pointing his sword at me, "then nobody can!"
  "Uh, do I know you?" I blinked, leaning back.
  
  
  The revolutionary crashed through the window and glared.
  "I claim...!" he managed before I smashed the bottle on his head. God I hate warm beer.
  
  
  "Attention," the robot said as it clamped its hand on my wrist, "you are under arrest."
  "Now what?" I demanded, glaring at it.

   

   

  "It's her, the assassin!" someone screamed, pointing at me. I do get a lot of this, but not when I'm on vacation.

• wombat said on Apr 16, 2008....

  The early morning discovery of two torsos wasn't the first bad news of FBI agent Woodstock's day, but it was the worst--court hearing aside.

• gingersoul said on Apr 16, 2008....

  "Let me tell you another story then" she said, languidly seating on the bed. It was already the forth night he had asked her back.......

• Expendable said on Apr 16, 2008....

  Wombat - Very good, nice hook, good set up. ^_^
  GS - Not sure about 'seating' but definite hook, smooth set up. ^_^

• Expendable said on Apr 16, 2008....

  I was thirteen when the world ended. That was five years ago. Funny what you can get used to, isn't it?

• mobil said on Apr 16, 2008....

  What the fuck is this ! He said as her entered the bedroom and caught the butcher pumping his wife like a German Sheperd.
   
  No, no said the butcher, there's a nice T-bone steak on the table for you. Oh he said, for a moment I thought you were only taking care of my wife !

• Expendable said on Apr 16, 2008....

  Mobil - sorry, you're over my 25 word limit. Weak hook, reads like a joke with a punchline but good set up.

• mobil said on Apr 16, 2008....

  Well one out of four ain't bad haha......thanks Spendy.

• wombat said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Thanks--I could have done better with a few more words, maybe....ha.

• diabolicdame said on Apr 17, 2008....

  As I turned my plane around out of the way of gunfire, I escaped with the secret that was going to change the world..

• diabolicdame said on Apr 17, 2008....

  I have a stolen secret. I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

• diabolicdame said on Apr 17, 2008....

  My fav is the one about the assassin by the way.. lol..

• ugly-stephie said on Apr 17, 2008....

  I like your first one Expendable.  The last one pulls you straight in.  Mine are pretty lame, but it was a fun challenge!
   
  "Who are you?"  I begged, sobbing.  I stared into the dark bottomless pits that used to be shining eyes.  I remembered - it was once me.
   
  Pressure was mounting.  The expectant audience were notoriously hard to please.  A deep breath, fingers poised.  I struck the keys and began - my first blog.
   
  Grip tight on my weapon, I warned my assailant once more to leave.  I moved in for the kill - the wasp never had a chance.

• Lucytorial said on Apr 17, 2008....

  John flung the envelope on his desk, the media were already onto the story.  Scratching his head, mic on he began, 'Russian, dumpster, head.......

• Expendable said on Apr 17, 2008....

  diabolicdame - Thanks! I've had a couple say they like the Assassin 
   
  Your first one is excellent! It has a good hook and paints a vivid scene. Your second one is a little short but does have some bite.
   
  ugly-stephie - yours aren't that bad. The first one paints a very vivid scene and has a great emotional hook. The second is funny, love the cute mis-direct. The third I think you could have put a little dialogue in to give it more of an immediate feel but it's got a nice mis-direct.
   
  Lucytorial - you also painted a good opening scene, drawing the reader in. Good work!
   
  everyone - I'm glad you like some of mine, do you like any of the ones the others posted? If you can, can you say why you liked them?

• wombat said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Expendable:  You aren't going to believe this, but when I first tried to come up with something way out there to write for mine--I was thinking about doing one about the end of the world!  Now that's spooky!

• Lucytorial said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Thanks honey! sshhh its actually part of a novel I'm writing... 

• Expendable said on Apr 17, 2008....

  wombat - so what's stopping you? let's see it! c'mon! I wanna see it! ^_^
   
  Lucy - can't wait to read the rest! ^_^

• diabolicdame said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Thank you! The second is actually a part two of the first one. Like a secret agent series.. hehe..
  I think I like all of the ones posted by others.. (Can you see the diplomacy of the secret agent?).
  

• exhibit_c said on Apr 18, 2008....

  I've spent the last two months looking for the recipe for the world's best macaroni and cheese. I finally found the secret: two ounces of...

• Expendable said on Apr 18, 2008....

  exhibit_c - it's 25 words and it's got some promise, but cutting off like that...?

• iamshay said on Apr 19, 2008....

  control your mind, shape your reality.....
  If life gives you lemons,would you make a lemonade out of it?

• silverwhisper said on Apr 20, 2008....

  brilliant sunlight glinted off his obsidian blade as it fell yet again, my arms struggling to raise my mace in defense one last, desperate time.
  
  ed

• gingersoul said on Apr 20, 2008....

  Wombie...i love your hook....:-)

  Expa.......yes, i was going to say "lying" but i thought it was too, lets say, predictable....lol...

  I like your fourth hook a lot....good job....

  Ed......as usual....good stuff...:-)

• Expendable said on Apr 20, 2008....

  ed, it's a very vivid picture you've painted, very specific, drawing the reader ito a battle. Very good hook.

• silverwhisper said on Apr 21, 2008....

  GS: thank you! i haven't been feeling particularly creative lately, as you might've guessed... :>
  
  ex: i wanted to evoke a very specific mood here--i guess it worked! thank you. :>
  
  ed

• gingersoul said on Apr 22, 2008....

  Ed.......yes....i noticed ...and i atttributed your creative silence to your new job.....dont worry....you will never run dry of words and imagination...:-) 

• silverwhisper said on Apr 23, 2008....

  GS: i guess it's just a dry spell, as they say out your way. i always find reading tends to inspire me again--perhaps i should pick up a new book. super z & alyss recommended kushiel's dart and i should really get a new bedside lamp so i can get cracking on it! :>
  
  ed

• Expendable said on Apr 23, 2008....

  "Ah," the doctor said as he leaned over me. "You're awake, good. Now, don't try to talk, you don't have a mouth anymore."

• Lucytorial said on Apr 23, 2008....

  OMG that was good, my mind kept running with that one.

• gingersoul said on Apr 23, 2008....

  Ed...usually poetry keeps my juices going....i like the wild associations found in poetry.......there is more freedom and openess than in fiction, i think....

  And at times i discover some little nods that tie together words i wouldn't ever imagine together...

  And from there my mind keeps creating new sentences...

  The more free and passionate the poetry the higher the chance of having my creative juices back...;-p

• silverwhisper said on Apr 24, 2008....

  ex, i liked that!
  
  
  
  GS: i find that i need prose to be inspired more often. isn't that odd?
  
  ed

• Trisscar said on Apr 28, 2008....

  I was born at twenty to four on the 24th, I was out of the hospital room within moments, my best friend was born 40 minutes later.
   
  *I know... it's a bit a couple words over... but I tried to cut it down :P*

• GrapeKoolaid said on Dec 01, 2008....

  "Shh...  We're here", she said.  "It's just around the corner, but you have to be quiet.  The slightest noise could wake it."

• Expendable said on Dec 01, 2008....

  Grape - interesting.
  Trisscar - a little sluggish, not much of a hook.

• GrapeKoolaid said on Dec 02, 2008....

  I've got one more for you Exp. 
  
  "My brothers, cousins, kinfolk!", shouted Eric the Bastard.  "I just got word from Alaric the Hunter that three legions from Nova Romani are approaching"
  
  The rest can be found here. 
  
  Hope you like it.  :)
  

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